Rus Articles Journal

We wish good luck!

We all want happiness to the child, so, good luck. As psychologists assure, it is possible to bring up the successful, successful person. It at the same time and simply, and is quite difficult.

the Successful person is the one who moves to the purpose, deriving pleasure, and not the zombie programmed only on achievement of result at all. Therefore education of the person adapted to life capable to achieve success and to be at the same time a happy person has to be the purpose of parents.

Development of the child begins

with the first sigh, then there is an aspiration to knowledge, and simply curiosity. Parents surely have to satisfy it. Just paying attention to the child, talking to it, parents already put it on the way of development. As seldom as possible it has to “is impossible“ to sound the word. At the child to whom a lot of things are forbidden curiosity, interest in life because he understands is extinguished: to meet approval of parents, it is necessary to sit quietly, and to play toys accurately. The child needs to get into boxes, to sort toys, to study (including on tooth) objects.

Acquaintance to the world

One of the first reflexes at the child - hvatatelny, the child gets acquainted with the world taktilno (on fingers many nervous terminations). Developing the movements, for example, of a brush, parents develop also a brain of the baby. It has to have many small toys and the objects different to the touch - then understanding of the world accelerates. At the same time it is impossible to forget that the subject environment is not adequate replacement to speech communication - it only supplements it. Therefore it is necessary to talk to the baby as often as it is possible.

of Feeling of the child are very fragile

of Emotion, the negligent attitude towards them can spoil to it all subsequent life. Parents often forget that children to a certain age are not able to operate the emotions. It is the same gradual process as training in reading, the letter. Therefore to forbid the three-year-old child it is natural to express the feelings it is simply useless. He did not learn to sit quietly yet and to talk quietly.

“Aggressive“ or “whining“ children as they are called by adults, are nonaggressive in essence - just they have no adequate mechanism of experience of failure yet. Forbidding to stamp legs, to shout and break toys, parents prevent the child to give outside negative emotions. It promotes development of feeling of the loser, a corporal stiffness, emotional inadequacy. But also it is necessary to pay attention to it: the child has to know that parents who will support him are near and all will explain to him. It is also abnormal if the anger becomes the only emotion which can draw attention of parents to the child, and he operates it.

needs to be remembered that children have age crises (2 - 3 years, 6 - 7 years) during which to demand from the child of obedience and “to break“ it not only it is useless, but also it is dangerous. The first crisis is the period of awareness of the separateness by the child from the main world. He denies everything, argues with everything, showing these the dissimilarity, - generally, is stubborn and inconvenient. But to break it at this age - means to break the first mechanism of force.

A capable children especially inconvenient just. They do not accept anything from what to them is imposed by adults, without independent reflection. The fact that they are ahead of many peers in development keeps them in a condition of a constant slight stress therefore they can be emotionally unstable. The correct relation to children`s emotions is an inoculation from many problems which they will face in life.

of the Imagination

It is quality it is very important for achievement of results. Without having imagination, it is impossible to create new, overstepping the bounds of already established. In the childhood the imagination of a trudnootlichim from reality. For the child it is a knowledge form, a way of a reconstruction of reality. It is not necessary “to rebuff“ the child when he constantly invents something, assuring that it is the truth, tells about fictional people and events. It seems absurd only from the point of view of rational consciousness. You show consideration for children`s voobrazheniye, they can tell a lot of things about a condition of your child. They should be encouraged and to participate in them.

Humour

the People having sense of humour are better adapted by

to life. At exceptional children it is usually well developed. But it needs to be developed too. Here everything depends on parents, first children “write off“ reaction on surrounding from them.

the Self-assessment

Is one of the most important and thin points as self-confidence - guarantee of success. The self-assessment should not be neither overestimated, nor underestimated. It is difficult to diffident people to achieve some result, and people with high self-esteem are usually “broken off“ by life.

the self-assessment of the child is influenced by the different moments. First of all, it is reaction of parents to its acts and to it in general. It is incorrect to think that for formation of a good self-assessment constant praises are obligatory. Reaction has to be honest, but the main thing - clear. It is very important to child to know the answer to a question: “Why?“ If something is impossible to the child, it is necessary to explain why it occurs and how to achieve that it turned out.

the self-assessment is influenced also with how many freedom it is provided to the child. If parents trust it to make decisions, then the child understands that it costs something that it adult and independent.

Optimum strategy Psychologists tell

to

at least about two types of educational strategy. The essence of the first - to avoid failure, an essence of the second - to achieve success. Usually in the person both of these tendencies are combined. Important, what of them prevails.

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It is obvious that optimum strategy - that where the aspiration to success prevails. It is honest and rational strategy: the person sees before himself the purpose and goes to it. In that case when it is more important to person to avoid failure, the task pales into insignificance. The person goes in cycles in failure and sorts out the relations with it instead of concentrating on a task.

At the correct strategy of people sets the real purposes. He does not try to jump on mountain top, is not trampled down indecisively at a foot and does not use difficult equipment out of the blue for secure. Instead he quietly begins to clamber on the mountain, making secure only where it is really necessary, and gradually reaches top. And if does not reach, then all the same conscience at it is true: he made everything that he could.

to Assess a situation

each parent has the, prevailing type of an explanation for the child of his progress and failures. And its reactions, collecting in consciousness of the child, gradually form his self-assessment which is often incorrect.

as a result of reactions of “the loving parent“ the child has a perverse idea of own forces. He begins to wait for the same reaction from others, but, certainly, receives it not always. He considers that the sea to it knee-deep and he can threaten literally on any business. As a result - failures, disappointments and inability to make efforts.

“The parent - the skeptic“ not delighted with own child. Perhaps, at heart it is also happy, but prefers not to show it that the child sought to become even better.“ It is better to nedokhvalit, than to overpraise“ - here its credo. It leads to the fact that the child grows up intimidated, diffident. The child starts each task facing it with horror: and suddenly it will not turn out? And failure, how many reaction of parents which is simple for foreseeing concerns him not so much. The aspiration in every way to avoid failure rather of punishment for it becomes a main goal of the child.

“Rational parent“ - here on whom should equal. He as “loving“, is proud of the child, but also as “skeptic“, understands that his abilities are not boundless. They can be developed or dug to the earth. Everything depends on the child, on his efforts. The parent tries to let it know also to the child. Efforts - here with what he explains its progress and failures. It did not turn out - tried a little. It turned out - the good fellow, worked.

the child has a feeling of responsibility, he understands that a lot of things depend on him. To it it is interesting to be engaged in business, as dispute with itself: I will be able or not? Only this way he will not think of failure in advance, will be able really to count the forces and is adequate to react to result. And it, actually, is also a schematic portrait of the successful person.

to Find time

Children as practice shows, the beings who are easily adapting and time they need not so much. It is a question of priorities: if parents even on holidays and days off work or have a rest without child, so he not really - that is necessary to them. There has to be some inviolable time for communication with the child. When parents of the house, they have to let it know that they love it. The child will have a normal idea of life:“ I am necessary to them, just they work hard“.

the Child has to be proud of achievements of parents. It will justify their absence. Of course, there are situations when it is not possible to keep the promise to take a walk with the child, to descend where - nibud. It is bad if it occurs constantly: two times the child will forgive, and on the third will not believe.“ The debt“ should be repaid.

Everything told above is useful to parents who armed with this knowledge at the earliest stage of development of the child and, the main thing, are ready to be guided by them. And what to do by that whose children already grew up, and not absolutely such how it would be desirable? In - the first if the child has abilities, not so - that it is simple to trample them. In - the second, having matured, children often find forces to break an ugly mask which was stuck together them by parents and from - under it the normal human face though it is difficult and disease process appears. In - the third, there are psychotherapists by means of whom it is possible to correct the harm done by parents.