How to quash in itself feeling of rage or anger on the child?
- of Tan 12. 03. 99 0:48:58
How to quash in itself feeling of rage or anger on the child? How not to show the irritation?
- Maria M. 12. 03. 99 11:08:29 Tan`s
, and how many to your child and what causes in you such feelings? In principle, each child is sometimes “intolerable“, however most often he does it not purposely at all not because wants to finish you. Depending on age of the child reaction of mother can be the most different. For the child is more senior trezkh than years sometimes it is useful that mother on the contrary did not hide the irritation, and found a way to express it and to show to the kid that his behavior very much upsets mother. For the child from 1 - oho years to 3 - ekh, little “monkey“ who copies all nuances of behavior of parents the behavior of mother has to be faultless therefore in the desperate and irritating situations the best exit will be - to burst into tears! This behavior is clear to the child and will even puzzle him - what mother is so upset with, can be sense and will not be - the child can not draw conclusions, but mother at the same time will splash out the emotions and will be able to arrive further more soberly, at the same time without setting to the kid of a bad example (shout or flash of rage). Any behavior of the child is younger than one year, usually opravdvno his requirements therefore mother usually is angry from the neumenya to understand or inabilities to help. Of course, from it it is not easier. Therefore will be - to be switched by the best exit. Come to time from the room, go to kitchen, drink a tea, calm down, and then come back. It is useful to hand over for 15 - 30 minutes the baby on hands to relatives and in general to leave the house - to vanish. If it is temporarily impossible - try not to accumulate irritation, and to state it aloud with a lovely smile while something occurs. The child of this age reacts first of all to intonation and a look, but not to contents of the speech. Therefore children perfectly fall asleep under a lovely lullaby “To Bai - bayushka to Bai! Do not shout, and that I will kill!“ . This lovely song is given as an example of a maternal discharge by the famous children`s psychologist D. V. Vinnikott in the book “Small children and their mothers“. And mother - spoke, and the child fell asleep. Try! I wish success. The psychologist - M.`s
- Rimma 15. 03. 99 1:07:34
A in any way. Why to suppress? All the same will pour out and when also an occasion - that any (clear for the kid) is not. If made that not so, and to you is not pleasant - is bad to shout, of course, and to beat disgustingly, but here you can state it all - and even on intonation the kid at any age will understand you. I too not from quiet and impenetrable mothers, have also a rough time - especially in the beginning, and then found some level when my irritation and to the child is visible, and does not oskorbyat it. For example, in due time the scattered toys wildly enraged me... And then saw with what complacency the assistant to the teacher in Dankiny kindergarten brings together them (goes since seven months), and thought: “really I love the son less, than this foreign girl? “Also calmed down once and for all. Try to eliminate a pressure in yourself, but not in the child. Most often that your irritation against it is covered in you, but not in it. It you cannot bear something, so? And he sees, than you can be “finished“. And as a result all wrong way - instead of offense he receives the weapon against you. which will manage to use. But also do not allow it to check you “for durability“, without reacting at all. Try to bring closer the reactions to adequate as much as possible. Difficult, who argues. Perhaps, you will be able to be helped by the skilled psychologist, perhaps, you should read good literature on children - since Spock and finishing with all what Moshkov has in library... If it is absolutely thin - write, we will talk. Rimma.
- Maria M. 12. 03. 99 11:08:29 Tan`s