The premature child - at all not a sentence for a family! Part 1
In each normal family a waiting time of the kid - special. You imagined thousand times what there will be he or she. You thought to whom she or he it will be similar than will be famous what it or at it will have habits, talents etc. Of course, in our dreams all of them were different. But in subconsciousness we saw them equally - a rozovenky attractive face, thin gentle volosik, a mouth which is stretched by an inept smile. In our dreams the kid was, first of all, healthy.to
But here it happened unclear - the child was born before term, it is sick, around it doctors and nurses fuss, they pass by the eyes your frightened, alerted and asking, in a hurry without having an opportunity to find for you enough time.
A you are overflowed by absolutely new feelings: You are shocked by the incident, frightened and disappointed. It seems to in total you hopeless, you are helpless. It is very a shame to you before a family that you could not fulfill the natural duty with gloss. You cannot realize in any way that all this nightmare to be created in reality, and to your kid it is so bad, it balances between life and death... To you to have to hear it is a lot of new medical terms which you cannot understand at once and they cast horror.
However, we want that you knew: though it is not simple to raise the premature kid, on your way many difficulties will meet, however, he surely will grow up. You will manage to pass through everything and in several years not with pain any more, and with a smile will remember these days. The main thing - trust and the help to doctors who fight for life and health of yours of the baby, belief in the and its forces!
Sense of guilt
Is feeling is usually inherent in all women who gave birth to the premature child which know, as their kid and all family very much suffer. Hundreds of times women endure everything the last days before childbirth and all life, looking for the answer to a question: why I, why with me for what that I made not so? These gloomy thoughts immerse the woman in a depression, it is fenced off from people around, ceases to allow close people to the experiences. It has a thought: only I in the answer, and am only my cross. All this does not allow it to concentrate on nursing of the child, to give it aura of confidence. And energy of love is necessary to the kid especially now. Perhaps, is what he best of all can feel from you now. Most likely, outright nobody is guilty of an event, nobody wanted trouble. However, pregnancy is not a simple process, the state of health of the woman can not give the chance to fully take out pregnancy. But it not only female prerogative. Pregnancy is a decision of two, a debt of two, hope of two and responsibility of two. The father loves the kid too, suffers together with him. But it as the head of the family as stronger and reasonable, has to undertake the main burden now and help the wife the love, faith in her and love to the kid. Let the father and mother together come to it and to the intensive care unit, to offices of nursing, draw to it pictures, give it toys, photos of elder brothers and sisters, discuss to whom it is similar.
Thought of wine for many years to become a painful point at the woman at a failure. It is painful pain. It is better not to try to cope with her. Otherwise you will destroy yourself, will not be able to give normal life to other children, will break the relations with the husband. Address the psychologist - the psychiatrist who will help you to understand this difficult truth - your child what “special“ he would not be, it is worthy your love as well as other members of your family and society. If you inspire in it it is his life, even at deviations in a state of health, will be more saturated and full.
the Second feeling which you should face - sensation of fear. In the first days to you it will be terrible that the child will die. Then to you it will be terrible that you will not cope with possible complications that you will be late with its treatment that doctors do not understand its state and its illness. And the most important fear that it will remain the disabled person.
Sensation of fear soon will become almost habitual. How many time to me was told by women at whom children were in the intensive care unit that they silly thought of that they will see today when they come to the kid. For example, if now the blue car passes, it will be better for it. If there is a happy ticket in the bus, it will add 20 more grams etc. If thought was not executed, the fear literally incinerated soul and the woman headlong ran in office and calmed down only when saw the kid. After an extract from hospital, it for a second could not force to leave it with somebody, even with the father, the grandmother. So process of their excommunication began. The woman instinctively began to show that she - main in relation to the kid, she wanted to cover him from all - only she knows that it is necessary for him etc. It is the incorrect way which is destroying a family, making destitute the child who so needs general love. Each woman has to remember it and try to understand that she just the same as well as the father, and has the same rights, as he.the Period after the delivery and the early childhood of your kid will be very put by
. It is the period of the main test for your family. It would seem, difficulties have to temper your relations. However, it not always so. The woman feels the guilt and despair, the fear for life and the future of her kid forces out her in itself, to be fenced off from people around.
of Feeling of the father a bit differents are a helplessness, disappointment and... loneliness. It is not let in soul, to it not trusted. Difficultly in this situation to keep love and understanding. However, preservation of a family, happiness and love, so necessary to your kid, are possible only when mother and the father do not divide among themselves to which of them it is worse and heavier, and believe that it is the general trouble and pain, will treat to each other with understanding. Only it will allow them with honor to get out of the created situation and forever to keep in the heart gratitude each other. If you have to see a doctor - the psychologist, try it to discuss and go together for reception together.
young fathers whose behavior in this extreme situation is worthy not only respect, but also imitation Are. It is necessary to tell that and the victory smiles to them. And to understand that a victory it will be possible, only in 1 year not soon.
I Will give an example. Two loving young people look forward to the child. It - infinitely gets prettier during pregnancy with happiness of expectation, his love. Everything goes perfectly. And here the long-awaited moment comes. However, it happens unexpected and unclear - childbirth happens term slightly earlier. And the kid on 2 - oh refuses to suck, become day sluggish and pale. Doctors begin inspections and in several hours - terrible news - meningitis. The days similar one on another consisting of tears and pain begin, and the kid lies in the intensive care unit, breathes via the device, anything also nobody promises to be fed through a vein. And here the father resolutely rises in defense of the beloved wife. He speaks to it - everything will be as it should be, trust me, I very much love you, and our kid will be healthy. In several days indeed it is better for kid to become and in 1 month he is written out home. Though nobody, unfortunately, says that it will be healthy, and only more and more time is told - to be observed and treated the whole year and only when it grows up, it will be clear what outcome of a disease. And again the father says to what tears, we will treat him and we will surely cure, I very much love both of you, and everything will be as it should be. Only doctors knew when to stop his fear and despair, but he managed to show it to the house never. And everything was - doubtful results of inspections, suspicion on destruction of brain fabric, change from an optic nerve. But the family obediently implemented recommendations, did not lose courage. To ourselves it is surprising that everything came to an end safely - the child sat down in time, got up, started walking, to tell, play and show absolutely normal development for the age. It is more and more time indicates high plasticity of tissue of brain of the child, need not to lose faith, hope and a huge role in this process of the father as main support for mother and the keeper of family wellbeing.
Here other example. It seems to it that he very much loves the little daughters. They were born weak, for the 30th weeks of pregnancy, all 1300 and 1250. They were so long nursed, they badly ate and put on weight. Now, when they houses, they need all the best, and problems only proceed - sleep badly, belch, it is a lot of and it is unclear with what cry, are ill, at the same time begin to choke. They develop slowly, demand treatment, carrying out with them massage, it is necessary to give preparations in time, to control reactions. Generally, so much! The father demands that all this was strictly observed by mother, he works hard, earning for all this money. And mother... What mother? Eventually, it not it, but it could not take out pregnancy and present to it healthy children. And then, it houses, let carries out everything. It is difficult for mother, pressure which is so expressed that she every day grows thin, thaws, to become more irritable, grustnet. She does not want to stir cheerfully with babies any more, everything falls from hands. Even more often she thinks of a trip to the mother, even more often she thinks of the wrong choice. She meets him with irritation, he to be angry. The family slowly collapses, their children whom they, it seems, and strongly love suffer. Eternal question. That there is a love: benefit for or for the person close to you? >
Sometimes to young people it is difficult for p to understand it. And here grandmothers and grandfathers They as nobody, have to unite now in the help to a family to which such tests are coming have to become the chief assistants. And then, same their grandsons or granddaughters.
Never in a family the question who is guilty has to rise? Only “together and forward“. It is so much on our experience surprising women and men - mothers-in-law and fathers-in-law who sided with daughters-in-law, did not allow fathers to leave a family. Helped young people to overcome fatigue, undertook everything up to that took away kids to themselves, allowing the young woman to work, give birth to the second children, to feel the full-fledged woman. Honor to them and glory! Though in lives and an infinite set of other examples.We more and more time want to emphasize with
value of psychological climate of the house in that the kids who had so difficult beginning of life were happy and healthy that, even at a failure, you could give them interesting and social life. And not only mother has to bear the cross. Whether and cross it?
Very complex and important problem are relationship in a family where there are still children. At the same time younger usually give birth in close-knit families, with understanding as it is important for the sick kid that to it it was not lonely in life. Are usually grateful to these second children for their health, raise them in the commonwealth with the sick kid. The younger child does not realize himself without brother or the sister who can do not everything and they instinctively choose those games which it is possible to play together. It develops both, forms that love of which parents dreamed.It is much more difficult than
if in a family there was already a child. Usually wait for the second consciously, already with ready feeling of love. The happened tragedy like a bolt from the blue breaks all life into two parts. Except feeling of pain, fear, despair, the woman has the trebled sense of guilt, for the fact that she broke habitual tenor of life, for the fact that to the husband to have to work three times more, for the fact that it is compelled the most part of time to spend at home. Her firstborn, how many years to him would not be, right there to become the adult. Constantly speak to it: you have to make so and so for mother and the brother (or sisters). You have to sit, shake, take a walk with it. Put the senior child and his desire gradually pass into the background. And when he wants to show an initiative, mother or the father right there rush and do not give it to make, being afraid that it will do much harm to their sick kid. Gradually between these children who have to become, in principle, the closest alienation begins to be formed, up to hatred. Sometimes, your senior asks:“ Mother, why we needed all this, we well lived. Would go to the sea now to have a rest“. These thoughts are so conformable experience of the woman that she breaks on the eldest son or the daughter, unjustly punishing and offending that, naturally, is badly reflected in a condition of yet not strengthened child who is not able to understand all depth of pain of parents. The woman, realizing it, cannot cope with himself, it seems to her that everything falls. The deep depression seizes it. The help of the doctor or psychologist are simply necessary here.
of the Situation happen just terrible. Mother of one my patient confidentially admitted once to me that she does not know at all what with herself to do. Unfortunately, her little daughter had quite severe damage of legs (a children`s cerebral palsy), the possibility of its independent circulation was doubtful. The girl in two years was extraordinary pretty, clever, possessed quiet equal character, loved all around and reached for seniors. The senior to the brother was 8 years old. This girl disturbed it, for a long time “taking away“ mother. Never was at home the father - he worked, went to hospital to mother. The boy began to study badly, to be rude. The woman was irritated on it. Generally, with the son it was difficult for it, she was afraid that she will not be able to save him from an untoward influence and constantly accused him, punished. She told that she sometimes specially hid in the winter its skates. And not because was what to punish for but because her daughter will never be able to go to a skating rink. Her story was confused and painful. It should be noted that occupations with the psychologist, a little drug treatment, our parental club, helped it to understand absolutely itself and to get rid of many family problems, to restore the relations with the son, to understand importance of their communication with the daughter.
We hope that you will understand that it is common problems. Try to think and analyse all this. These are your children. Different, difficult, but darlings. Your heart has to be enough for understanding both of them. You remember, to the senior child in the conditions of the second sick child in a family, psychologically you it is even more necessary in order that he managed to understand instinctively and correctly a situation and to become your support, and that is especially important, a support for the rest of life to your sick kid.
of the Problem of prematurity
That it “the premature child“? In - the first, it is not just small child with a small weight, and everything that he needs - to gain this weight. No. Imagine that your kid had to develop 2 - 3 more months vnutriutrobno, there he had to ripen, his bodies had to develop, turning into so mature systems which can already independently exist in external environment. Therefore, first of all the premature child is “immaturity“, his impracticality to existence, separate of you. It is very difficult for it to adapt quickly, and doctors and nurses need many forces and knowledge to support his life and to give it the chance normally “to ripen“. The most important for maintenance of life is a breath, blood circulation and regulation of these processes. Vnutriutrobno a fruit breathes through mother, that is oxygen and nutrients arrive through umbilical cord vessels, and all harmful substances are also removed through these vessels, and mother deletes them with the kidneys and a liver. Lungs for breath are not necessary to the child yet. They slowly develop, preparing for the first breath at birth. However, special substance - surfactant which helps “to reveal“ a lung for this purpose is necessary and not to be fallen down to alveoluses, carrying out gas exchange.
Maturing of surfactant happens after the 28th week of pregnancy and comes to an end approximately to the 36th weeks. If the child is born very much early, this substance can not be enough yet, and breath becomes fortrudnenny. The child begins to breathe often, becomes blue, he needs more oxygen. Unfortunately, violation of blood circulation or regulation at defeat of nervous system or set of these reasons can be causes of infringement of breath also. But anyway treatment requires special supply of oxygen - via the medical ventilator. Besides, it is necessary to adjust a blood-groove. All this very difficult mechanisms demanding profound knowledge of the doctor and experience of leaving from the party of nurses. Their work is worthy your huge respect!
Artificial ventilation of lungs is a need of maintenance of life of the child. Without it hardly he could survive and ripen, manage to breathe. However, receiving high concentration of oxygen (nearly 100%) in order that adequate gas exchange was made, the child`s lungs as if burn. Unfortunately, it is impossible to avoid it - life is staked!“ The burn“ lungs leads to a spasm of bronchial tubes, production of slime. This state is called a bronchial tube - a pulmonary dysplasia. The spasm and production of slime lead to strengthening of short wind, violation of gas exchange, a hypoxia and secondary violation of cages of nervous system. In the course of growth of the child gradually these symptoms disappear. But in order that influence of this disease was the smallest, the child constantly it is necessary to observe, treat for removal of a spasm, improvement of maturing of bronchial tubes, to control gas exchange level, not to allow the hypoxia periods (i.e. shortages of oxygen).to Parents should know
that even if the kid very not for long was on hardware breath, his bronchial tubes can be very sensitive to a spasm. Let in usual life it have no bronchial tube signs - a pulmonary dysplasia. However as soon as he gets sick with a SARS i.e. when production of slime amplifies, bronchial tubes begin to spazmirovatsya. That is why these children so often transfer “an obstructive syndrome“. That there was no trouble, knowing that the child was on the device IVL, it is necessary to warn the doctor and to begin treatment of a spasm still before it becomes very heavy and will demand the intensive help, hospitalization etc. Besides, frequent episodes of obstruction, especially at an allergic mood in a family, almost in 80% of cases leads to bronchial asthma.
That happens to heart and vessels of the premature kid and how to control maturing of haemo dynamics further. The structure and work of heart of a fruit of the pre-natal period differs from that at the newborn child. Imagine that at a fruit heart three-chambered, special openings - “an oval window“ and “botall a channel“ through which blood mixes up are open, and vnutriutrobno the child receives only the “mixed“ blood that allows it to be rather steady against a possible lack of oxygen. After the birth there is a blood circulation reorganization, heart to become four-chamber, and the child begins to receive purely arterial, unmixed blood. Of course, “openings“ are closed not at once, but “mixing“ of blood through them does not happen from first minutes of life. At the premature child such reorganization of work of heart happens much more slowly - is long can not only remain, but also function additional openings and vessels (an open oval window and botall a channel). Intensive methods of treatment - artificial ventilation of lungs, intravenous injection of liquid allow to save life to premature children, but strengthen load of weak heart. Gradually these changes can disappear, but behind a state is warm - vascular system the careful control allowing to dose physical activity of the child is necessary - to determine terms of the beginning of massage, physiotherapy exercises, swimming.
Within the first two years the premature child has to be under supervision of the cardiologist. Numerous carrying out - elektrokadiografiya (electrocardiogram) allowing to estimate the correct work of a cardiac muscle in 2, 4,6, 12 months of life is necessary. Ultrasonic research of heart (an echocardiography - the ECHO - KG), allows to reveal defects and other anatomic defects of heart, it is desirable to carry out in 2, 6, 12, 24 months of life of the child.Remember
! Considering features of the premature child, the cardiologist together with the treating and constantly observing doctor - neonatology - the specialist in development of children of early age has to carry out treatment of any results of researches.
needs to be remembered that the correct supervision over development is warm - vascular system of the premature child allows to reveal in due time deviations, to carry out adequate treatment and to dose activity of the kid according to its functionality. All this in general will help adequate maturing warmly - vascular system and to lack of adverse effects further!