The syndrome of the become empty nest of
at me was given rise Recently by a dog. She did not go to courses of the advanced motherhood, did not sit at mamsky forums, did not scribble posts in community “GV Always, GV - Everywhere, about Days of the Last of a Collum“ (GV is a breastfeeding), but light did not see before more careful mother.
She carefully licked the puppies, fed from morning to the night, deafly growling if though somebody, except the owner, tried to stare at the sacral act. She immediately wore out babies for shkirka to the cozy box if under review there were strangers. But there passed only two months, and puppies already began to show remarkable independence, and terrible mummy did not interfere with active independence. Fell from a border? Well, whimper and next time be more careful. You want to eat? Not a question. My bowl - your bowl. If you are in time.
She still gently licks them amusing physiognomies, but with the great pleasure goes to walk to the wood far away from importunate offsprings. Its games with them are extremely functional, but bring pleasure to all participants. There will pass a little more time, and she will growl on the grown dogs, unexpectedly will come to their mind (more true - in a stomach) thought to put a mouth in its bowl. Everything is simple, as well as is conceived by the Creator.
But we - not animals. We are the people allocated with immortal soul, a warm heart and-headed different degree of an okhlazhdennost. We do by clean hands all the best for the children. Though perfectly we understand that sooner or later it is necessary to unclench the turned blue fingers and to release them on freedom - to the world full it is evil, maniacs and cold pools. In the cities and towns choking in a smog of dangers of death. In life where our little blind puppy of eighty meter in height, eats not that food, plays not those games, studies bad, it is constant natykayas on nasty a bough and bare dogs. Clutching at the head freezing for horror, we are ready to pull out the warm heart that not so was ill. We are not ready, are not ready, are not ready! Also we do not believe that they are ready. We do not want to believe that overdo children though a little in the suffocating atmosphere of the parental love - all. The dish under the name “Life“ for them will be indigestible.Actually “the departure from a nest“ is not so terrible
as it seems. If to remember at this age of the termination of, relatives, friends and friends. And, having generously seasoned memory of heart with sense of humour, to look at the past from outside, and then to analyse thoughts.
without applying for the ultimate truth At all, we present you the qualifier of parents of adult children - three types of these nice representatives of mankind.
Rational adult parents understand that the child will inevitably grow up, and vicious practice “not to pushchat!“ will lead to the return results. Because in any fence the manhole can be found. Through it it is possible to jump or, eventually, to destroy, having caused damage not only to “strengthenings“, but also people around. And to.
Rational parents learn not only to hold a spoon, but also to live independently. Help how many can, and, eventually, leave with a spoon in private, without arranging hysterics from - for potyok of cream of wheat on a table.
to the House book girl with slanting and wearing spectacles, the honors pupil without skills of a survival was “knocked“ by sixteen years. She only - only graduated from school. Parents brought it to the capital, rented the room, gave out money for monthly board, presented the laptop. Also left. Arrived a month later, gave still money. And again left. The farther, the more rare they came. Helped less less - controlled.the Father called
time in two days. In the mornings.“ I will call in the evening, and you the house will not be - I will go crazy. Better since morning I will take you“, - so he partly for fun explained the tactics. Only much later he admitted what work he should have not called on three - four times a day and once more at night. As he looked at phone and forbade himself to dial number.
the Girl safely graduated from the institute, turned into the beautiful young woman. Did not become an inveterate drunkard, not “finished on the panel“, it has an interesting work and stormy private life. She several times a year comes home to stay for a while and with pleasure shares news, ups and downs with parents. Or does not share. Not to upset. Parents arrive also.by
“Valya where you want, but after arrival be stopped ringing that it is live“.
Reckless parents are too busy by themselves, the life, the work, the hobbies. It does not mean at all that they do not love the grown-up children. Just in slightly bigger degree, than rational, understand that the grown-up child is just one more adult, and they will not be able to walk for him the legs all terrestrial way. Unlike rational, reckless speak: “A spoon in kitchen, bon appetit!“
They do not sit in “violent“ office of a psychiatric clinic, carefully wrapped up in a smiritelny shirt with hefty hospital attendants. They lead usual life and make the most usual impression. You will never guess that this prominent owner of solid business or that lovely school teacher actually - mad parents.
They consider that out of the field of their sight, hearing and total control to the child by all means there will be awful. Fatal. Irreversible. No school-leaving certificates will convince them of the return. The fact that this category of parents abuses a design is paradoxical: “I in your years...“ but as soon as the offspring tries to exercise the right for the years, he will come across a reinforced concrete wall. And very few people have enough forces to escape from - under sarcophagus covers.the Mad parental love is stronger than
scale - radiations and is also harmful to an organism. It destroys marriages and dreams of those who did not have enough forces. It is some kind of natural selection where stronger individual - the parent, does not allow to be realized weaker individual - to the adult child. The bound hand and foot by parental love and care, eternal debtor is doomed to lifelong eating of sense of guilt from a spoon which is strong held by the loving and caring parental hands. Such unions cemented by excessive parental guardianship are doomed to incessant cracks of scandals, mutual reproaches, tears and blackmail. Most often so mothers love. And most often - girls. But there are exceptions.
Mother did not want to release the ninth-grader on the republican school Olympic Games.“ How it?? Without parents?“ Made gloomy scandals in the tenth class. “Well and that that only six evenings? Winter! As will darken that was at home!“Having gone to study
to other city after school, the guy made a feat. In the house long and hard smelled of medicines. The first two courses it was impossible to communicate with mother - mother taught and reproached, taught and reproached, taught and reproached. After the young man got the ladylove, mother got a preinfarction angina.
Still when occasionally thirty-year-old man comes on a visit to parents, except festive borsch and the sweating bottle, indispensable attribute is scandal. From - for the fact that the son left to see childhood friends and dared not to be to evening twilight. Mother takes offense, cries and gives lectures on a subject at half of the night: “Mother worries!“
But there`s no evil without good: presence of the little dictator - a reason for education of spirit. And, sometimes, from zalyublenny adult children, the best representatives of the human race turn out there are rational parents.
Readers often take offense at authors for what they does not learn to live. All right.
the Practical advice
If at you is the adult child who will fly away from a nest one of these days, and you found in yourself terrible symptoms of a mad roditelstvo, then I strongly recommend you:
- to begin to learn Japanese (art cutting out by a fret saw on metal, a fancy riding on hippopotamuses) having signed up for the latest courses in other end of the city; to be engaged in
- in a figure in the most distant fitness - club in pre-dawn hours; daily to do to
- clear-out in the apartment, rearranging furniture more often and grating with tooth-powder table silver;
- to marry, at last, / to divorce, at last, to hell / to arrange a sexual orgy with the beloved spouse;
- to change a profession / to change a job;
- to go much on foot; to leave to
- the adult child alone with all tableware - sooner or later he will understand that the broth fork does not exist and if there is no spoon, so he will find it or will make.
P. S. Dear adult children, you remember: parents really love you. Just they are not always able to express the feelings and therefore instead of: “I love you“, speak: “We grew up a reptile!“ But you are able to express the feelings, isn`t that so? And before reporting to parents that you go to study were arranged to work as the janitor or you marry the Afro-American, do not forget to drop him a valerian in cognac and to tell sacramental: “I love you, my dear parents...“ even in response to “reptile“. And there as it will turn out.I do not recommend to shut the door with a bang and to take
with myself sense of guilt. It is quite enough to say sincerely and in low tones: “Thanks. Good-bye“ and not to forget the passport.