Household chores. What it is possible to charge to the kid?
Each parent wish that his child grew up hardworking that he was an assistant in all household chores. Many mothers and fathers ask questions: when to begin to accustom the child to house work and what work is feasible for the kid in the different age periods.
of Tradition of the help to adults
Remembering the Russian history, it is possible to state: children in many respects helped adults, since the earliest age. If to speak about traditions of a country family, then children were obliged to help about the house, to carry water, to set the table, to cook simple food, to sweep a log hut, to go berry-picking in the wood - mushrooms, to nurse younger brothers and sisters. The help to adults was included in the general life of a family, and children even had no doubts that they, in - the first, can, and in - the second, have to cope with affairs. The amount of works on the house was such that to the family having children without the aid of children was not to cope.
Modern society calls into question into need of the help of children, especially, if it is children of preschool age. A large number of pieces of household appliances considerably simplified and facilitated housework, and began to seem that the help of children became not so obligatory. But parents have to understand that it is very important to acquaint the kid with household chores as soon as possible, and also to fix their execution in everyday life of the child.
Now the main problem of parents is uncertainty that children are capable to help them and have to do it. Children, feeling this uncertainty, understand: they have an opportunity to shirk duties if show obstinacy, or “will not hear“ parental requests, or will achieve the whims or scandal. Therefore the first and main condition to teach children of the help with the house, is your confidence that it is really necessary.
to Each age - the!
Uncertainty of parents often results from the fact that they do not know at what age what task for the child will be feasible. And this question is really very serious, if to charge to the child the business exceeding its opportunities it can lead to the fact that...
... the child will resist in every way performance of this task that can be regarded by parents as laziness and to cause their discontent and reproaches towards the kid;
... the child will perform a task as will be able. And, most likely, it will be not that result which we expect parents. What can also cause charges of laziness and unwillingness “to do serious work normally“.that, and other option is bad
I as it influences the child`s self-assessment. Features of a self-assessment of the preschool child are that that it is supported by only positive result, i.e. undoubted success when performing business. That task which did not manage to be executed the preschool child (till 5 years in particular) will seek to avoid again not to “lose“. For this reason such tasks which will be within its powers, and performance them are important for children of preschool age will bring to the child satisfaction with the received result.
So, we will talk about what duties can be offered children of different age.At this age early to say
Till 2 years to
about charging to the child of a duty. However already now it is important to give to the kid small tasks which he will be able to execute at once. For children from 1 year to 1,5 years it can be “one-stage tasks“, for example: “bring me a handkerchief“, “give me a spoon“. For children of 1,5 years is also more senior it is possible to apply “two-level“ tasks:“ take a t-shirt and carry it in a bathroom “, “ take a spoon and put it near a plate“. Such short instructions - tasks help children to understand that they are already capable to execute the business necessary to mother or other loved one. And children of this age, as a rule, with pleasure perform such tasks. Therefore you do not hurry to make everything. Check, perhaps, the kid is already capable to help you with performance let and simple, but necessary actions.
Crisis of three yearsSeparately should mention “crisis of three years“ which begins during 2,5 - 3 and about half a year can last. Even if before your kid was already accustomed to carry out some instructions and duties, can seem to you that his character deteriorated. Now he can resolutely refuse the help to you and even to do “all on the contrary“. But the matter is that this period is very important, the baby learns social norms and borders of behavior. Also he learns them, overstepping the limits and “provoking“ adults. Behavior of the child often defiant: it, knowing bans, “checks“ whether the fact that it “is impossible“ really is impossible. As if the kid behaved, try to show accurately to the child the existing rules and to try to achieve execution of already habitual duties which have to be invariable and do not depend neither on your mood, nor on negative behavior of the child.
From 2 to 3,5 years
At this age the child can have own small, but constant duties. The kid is quite capable to hang up own clothes to the allocated place; to accurately put footwear, having come from the street; to put the plate in a sink (if a plate plastic, and the sink is not too highly). Also at this age children very much are interested in economic daily affairs, whether it be washing of ware, washing and sweeping of floors, participation in cooking and small repair, etc. They seek to help with it the adult and very much are proud of the fact that they allow it to make by him. Of course, it is not necessary to speak about the real help in such “serious“ affairs so far, but, nevertheless, it is necessary to allow the kid to try the hand and it is obligatory to praise for the fact that he seeks to help.
From 3,5 to 5 years
the Knowledge the child of standards of behavior and responsibility proceeds. At this age the kid can have new zones of duties: it can (and already has to) to clean the toys before going to bed, to make the bed. Also children can perform simple operations on care of pets (to pour water in a bowl or to fill a forage), to help to set the table before a family lunch. At this age has to pass part of leaving which was on the adult`s shoulders to the child. Now it can entrust to open and close water that he washed hands, without controlling this process. The kid has to bear responsibility for the toys and things (“itself lost, itself and look for“).
the Big assistant in development of useful duties is the kindergarten. There daily duties which they have to carry out are assigned to children. Important the fact that tutors and nurses are sure that children have to execute these duties and demand it from children. Therefore in a garden kids often “obey“ better, than houses if parents do not show such confidence and are not too consecutive. If the child does not visit a garden, it is especially necessary for it that it had own daily duties. If parents consider it still “too small“ and do not allow to have personal zones of responsibility, it can lead to the fact that the child will get used to be conducted, and necessary independence will not develop.
Important feature of this age period is that the child of this age estimates acts (personal and others`) only on consequences which they bear. It can be illustrated on an example.
of Rum, 4,5 years, thought up own system of storage of cars in which there was a game logic clear to the kid, but not clear for mother. Therefore mother, sometimes swearing, sometimes sighing, every evening redid work of the son. At first Roma tried to explain, then protested, and then reconciled... having just ceased to clean up toys. It is obvious that after the correct behavior (cleaning of toys) for Roma there came negative consequences (mother swore and remade). The sense of responsibility for the things died away, and Roma now at once prefers to entrust cleaning to mother who sincerely does not understand why the son does not wish to fulfill her requirements.
From 5 to 7 years
the Child at this age has to have own “the zones of responsibility connected with personal belongings and toys, preservation of worthy appearance, understanding of importance of careful attitude to the nature and the things belonging to others, initial ideas of own responsibility for health. The adult has to be the attentive mentor whom the child can address, directing now (but not pushing!) in the necessary direction. The child has to have own fixed zones of duties which are carried out only by him and which non-performance influences him, his relatives, and also pets. Value of responsible behavior is already clear to the child of this age, and conscientiousness of children is rather high to understand own mistakes and defects.the Principles - assistants
When you want to achieve
that the child carried out household chores, you can use several principles which will help you with this difficult business.
Personal example. Not incidentally this principle is on the first place. For preschool children the personal example of close people is defining what there was a speech about. If you want to allocate the kid with a duty, at first look, how well you carry out it. The child will never accurately hang up clothes on a chair if in your clothes a disorder. “Do better, than mother!“ “Do not follow an example of the father!“ - these phrases will not convince the child - the preschool child. It will do as you arrive, without paying attention to appeals if they disperse from your behavior.Before demanding - teach
! Unfortunately, the impression is sometimes made that parents still believe in magic: it seems to them that the child has to learn everything without their direct participation and if it is impossible to it, then these are fruits of his laziness. It is worth remembering: perhaps, you should show and explain several times, how exactly it is correct to make what you demand what result you want to receive and how this result can be achieved. Teach and only then demand!
Constancy of requirements - it is important! If you want that the child carried out household chores, it is necessary that these duties were considered by you as constants because only in this case they will become those and for the child. Parents make a mistake, reminding the child of his duties, carrying out them, and also discussing at the child need of performance of duties by him. Inconstancy of a parental position prevents the kid to fix duties as constant skill.
the Praise - moderately! It is important to parents to know about the theory of a positive reinforcement: what bears a positive is fixed in behavior, and what bears a negative, - is avoided. Remember that the praise has to have concrete character, have a certain address, but not tell the child that it “in general good“. “You are a good boy“ - not the best option.“ It is pleasant to me how well you cleaned today the room“ - much more correct formulation. Parents should use an opportunity to praise the child for a good act, avoiding at the same time a barren praise in its address.
of Encouragement and sanction. Often parents prefer to have accurate system of encouragement for the correct behavior and sanctions for non-performance of duties. Let`s assume, you decided that the child has to clean the toys, but not to leave them scattered. To some children of rather emotional reaction of parents, for them the smile is an award, and the shifted eyebrows - punishment. Such children thinly feel a condition of parents and lean on it in the behavior. But not all children are capable of it. Therefore it is possible to apply other methods of encouragement and sanctions. For example, to give color magnetics every time when the child himself remembered the duties (they in a weekend can be exchanged for some privilege, for example, on a campaign to the amusement park). It is also possible to draw a flower, and the child will be able to paint over a petal every time as it executed a duty. And in case he forgets about duties, it is possible to agree that it will jump up on one leg, considering to 10. Game becomes more interesting if the child watches your behavior too: when you threw clothes or did not put back the thing, he can also demand execution of “jumps with the account“. In this case sanctions are perceived as more fair as rules are uniform for all.
of the Fairy tale and poteshka. Having opened the collection of the Russian poteshka, you will surely find out in what it will be told about what duties children had in the Russian villages. Let this reading will become a reason for your story about the Russian village and, of course, about need of the help of children to adults. Reading of children`s literary works, joint viewing of animated films and their further discussion with the child - extremely effective method in inoculation to children of concepts about the help to parents in household chores. Remarkable works are a cycle about all favourite Dunno N. Nosov, A. Bartho`s verses. And if you compose the fairy tale, then it will be for the kid not only an interesting, but also useful occupation, through personal creativity any norms are acquired easier and quicker!it is easier and easier than
In game! Remember that the leading activity for the child - the preschool child is game. Therefore if daily duties have a game component, then it will help the child to execute them more willingly. For example, we will take cleaning of toys which it becomes frequent “apple of discord“ and brings many troubles. It is possible to organize competition who will collect toys more. It is possible not just to clean up, and to put to bed toys, and to put machines in garage. The child - the preschool child has mythological thinking and is ready to allocate with soul any inanimate object, from a toothbrush to a pan. It creates big open spaces for joint useful activity, with a game component, so lovely to the child`s heart! If you do not know how to force the kid to fulfill a certain duty, think what game can be offered him during which these operations will be performed as if “by itself“.
So far as concerns preschool children, to parents it is worth remembering that at this age children very easily distract and prefer occupations interesting, than useful. Attention of children involuntary and, having seen under review an attractive subject or being guided by the unexpected imagination, they can begin game, having forgotten about duties. Of course, parents have to be ready to show patience, reminding children of their duties, but not carrying out business for them. Our benevolent relation and confidence in their forces will help them to create skills in house work.
the Feasible help
Till 2 years: disposable small tasks are possible.“bring
- to me...“ (the accurate name of what is necessary, and places where it is); “put
- back“ (to show this place and even to bring the child to it, to praise);
2 - 3,5 years: the same small tasks, but taking into account that the child rather surely knows where at what thing the place. It is necessary to remember that at this age performance of affairs is perceived as game which comes to an end as soon as it becomes uninteresting. The child needs to remind that he can perform tasks:“give
- to me, put back, bring to me...“
- independently to put on and undress. The child is capable to put clothes or to hang up it on a stool; to help
- when cleaning (together with the adult and under his control).
of 3,5 - 5: the same duties, but at higher level, with the requirement of the adult to finish business. Perhaps, the child will need your help and benevolent stimulation to finish business. New duties:
- to clean toys in places after game or at the end of the day; by
- independently to choose clothes “for tomorrow“
- to sort dry clothes after washing (office of own clothes);
- to look after pets (to pour water, to fill forages - under control of the adult); to help
- with table layout (unbreakable objects);
- to clear ware the table in a sink; to help
- with washing of ware (unbreakable and not sharp objects);
- to perform a task: “Remind me to buy in shop...“ to carry
- from shop own not heavy package.
of 6 - 7 years: except former duties, it can:to help
- with cooking (for example, work with the test, washing of vegetables and fruit, preparation of sandwiches from the cut ingredients); to water with
- flowers and to loosen in them the earth; to help
- at the dacha on weeding of weeds, to break the ripened fruits and to perform other simple works;
- to watch the appearance, his accuracy; to help
- with care of younger brothers and sisters in the volume which parents are ready to entrust;
- independently to perform educational homeworks with the subsequent control of adults.