that summer my brother Serezhka received the driver`s license, and we in the company of mother and woman Vera on an old Zhiguli went to visit relatives on Tambov region. Relatives from the father it is planned, and that that on the mother or rather on the grandmother, decided to find, based on her memoirs. The woman Vera was not in the homeland of years 20 - since the brother was buried. Very much she wanted to descend on mogilka of the father, mother and to visit the sister Taya who is nowadays living with the brother Ivan. Eh, it`s ages since we met! But the best was remembered. Such is memory human, the past idealizes. To here take life of any elderly person, so though shoot film, and there is enough everything in it: both comedies, and the tragedy, and the truths, and the invention, behind prescription of years which became similar to the truth.the Woman Vera was born
in a big family, seven on benches. Lived it is poor, the childhood dropped out on war. Not to die of hunger it was necessary to my grandma cones from the field to steal. Probably, then she also understood what is deadly fear. Shot for theft. Felt sorry for nobody - either women, or teenagers. There was such Stalin decree.For herself decided
that if endured war, then a lot of things will be able. Also learned not to be afraid to say that thinks. To act rashly. Integral, strong character was built up. Most of all she wanted to leave then. To run away from the plundered poor village forever. Russia big.
the woman Vera from the South on the North, Ran away to St. Petersburg. In one dress and canvas shoes. All wealth - in the eyes burning with energy yes thick fair-haired braids width about its palm. And the desire to study was the biggest desire. Entered surprisingly easily, at first, to one UNIVERSITY - legal, then transferred documents to another - agricultural. There the hostel was given, and subsidiary farms were available, it was possible to live in difficult post-war years. At native faculty met the future husband - my grandfather Vasya. Went behind it “decembrist“ to Siberia, then - to its homeland to Mordovia. Raised children, planted not one tree, but the whole fields and gardens. Yes, both he, and it were agronomists. And further - life. An era in which so much held what not to fill with words. Yes I tell all this that when the set of roads is already passed and that person with whom passed these roads is lost, pulls there where your soul where there passed the happy childhood arose. And the childhood all the same at all happy what difficult it would not be.
We went by infinite podsolnukhovy fields on dusty roads of grandmother`s youth. Found Filatovsky office. By the name of its sorts. As it appeared, it had not only country, but also landowner or merchant roots. And then the villages of Maryevka moved off in searches. Asked passersby, looked at each new face. Also something familiar was guessed in a face of the casual aunt, related. Talked; there were, however, relatives, distant relative. As my mother is resembled by both a face form, and a nose a kartoshechka.
Long traveled about on off road terrain before saw the settlement. From the big village there were several houses. And the woman Vera did not wish to recognize those.
“Was brought not there“, - she stubborn went on, without wishing to go out of the car. Asked the plyugavenky little man who was frightened of us in fragmentary clothes. He confirmed supposedly indeed - Maryevka. Then the grandmother important set foot on native land and went to the next house with not driven in windows. Manned dwellings at first sight was pieces five, it is no more. The road per se was not. Ravines yes tall weeds. It was necessary to throw the car and in single file by thickets of a nettle to follow the woman Vera.
the prostovolosy woman of years of sixty, “woman“ as spoke in Russia, with pokhmelno - the rumpled dissatisfied person looked out Of the house to which it went.Having comprehended
, at last, about whom there is a speech, she with astonishment exclaimed:
- Verka Platova!
- Not Verka, but Vera Maksimovna, - important corrected the granny.
- And your relatives nearby here live, the wife of the brother is still living, their son with the daughter-in-law and children.
Soon we saw the White House similar to the mushroom which grew into the earth or grown from it made of clay and straw - a mud hut. Near it a half-ruined shed with a leaky roof from where the cackle of hens reached. From the house three tow-haired dirty barefoot lads ran out. Rebetnya with curiosity and children`s naivete stared at us. My mother stretched them a handful of candies, and they fast snatched away them. The one that is more senior thrust two pieces into a mouth at once, smacking the lips from pleasure. We entered the house. And as in it there was no porch, directly from the earth appeared in a dark outer entrance hall. I looked round, having paid attention to a dirty wooden floor and benches along walls. For noise there was a slovenly molodukha with the chest child on hands, and after it a prikovylyala the ancient old woman with a white blind eye. In the grandmother Vera recognized relatives and invited us to the only room with an oven, polatyam, the wooden table covered with a dirty oilcloth. It seemed, so lived in the last century either in before last, or at a serfdom. A table, benches instead of chairs, a wooden self-made bed and the shabby, faded from time rug with deer over it. From the seen poverty there was a wish to blink.
the woman Vera on a table did not manage to lay out a vodka bottle, smoked fish and sausage as there was an owner and probably the supporter of a family - the young unshaven little man with the eyes which joyfully began to shine from a type of binge.“ Almost like at his children on candies“, - it was thought to me. Molodukh got from - under towels, usizhenny flies, black bread.
- we bake, - with pride she said.her hubby told
to us that there is no work in their village, the collective farm broke up. Work seasonally, and pay off them with grain and self-race. Money as pension is received only by the old woman. Yes, absolutely forgot to tell, in their house there was neither TV, nor radio, nor phone.
- And we go to watch TV to neighbors. And why it to us? - as if echoing my thoughts, the owner noticed.
- Some all of them small, degenerating as weeds, - Serezhka noticed, only we drove off from their house. Even cats and doggies small and thin. But hardy what, strong.
Despite the seeming pleasure from a meeting, so there was a wish to escape and go further. And at the same time doubts crept in. And what we will see further and whom we will find? Sadly, when the reality turns out unvarnished.the July sun Is bright
a star and small tortoiseshells on the grassed wild gardens flitted.
- Here, and on fields grew up melons of “collective farmer“, - the grandmother shared memories. Also peered, peered, endeavoring to guess, being lost in memory back streets.
- And there, apparently, slightly at some distance where an impassable tall weeds, there was a parental house. It was the most beautiful and new in the village. Where it?
also from graves. Time is relentless, cruel. It can treat, erase from memory and not to leave a stone on a stone. The grandmother Vera rushed about on a cemetery in search of the plate or a cross. But the term of a tree is so short-lived.
- They are buried by a row. All relatives - Platova and Filatova. Seryozha, look for.to
Me it was not believed any more that we in general will find something in dense thickets of a grass on a belt. Mercilessly the sun scorched.
I suddenly Serezhka cried:- Found
In lilac bushes, almost on the earth, the rusted metal cross with the plate which dimmed from time, with the ink inscription “Pavel Platov“ lay.
- And how he died, the grandmother?
- Heart did not sustain.
- Yes, not old it seems still, - I examined almost erased dates of life.
From the great-grandmother`s graves with the great-grandfather. Bowed, remembered. The woman Vera brushed away teardrops from eyes, and went further.
To the farm of Nikolino. About it and mother had warm childhood memories. How the aunt Taya which early became a widow/widower, which lost absolutely young son hospitably met them, only from army of the comer, but such kind, despite all sorrows, not lost cheerfulness and natural cheerfulness.
I we laughed, listening to her stories, how mother and her sister Rayechka - the aunt Tai`s daughter, being little girls of years of thirteen - fourteen, went to rural club to dances to the neighboring village, having dressed up as boys. Drew to themselves moustaches, put on caps over disobedient curls, and by all means a cigarette in teeth. The club tried to meet maidens and local boys recognized them and then pursued them. And those got away kitchen gardens and even hid in a ditch with sewage if only they did not catch.
In what actresses were. And the aunt Taya covered all this amateur performance and it seemed, loved all equally. It was so cozy near it to both children, and adults. There were no best for it others or bad, only and.listened to
Ya; trusted and did not trust at the same time while we went on fields and off road terrain. Near the farm in the neighboring village found the next filatovsky relative. He also specified to us the direction, having warned that, perhaps, we will not pass. Painfully dirty after a rain. But we reached. Also found that house from the childhood once seeming the palace.Under car wheels with modulating bark the small biting lump which on closer examination appeared a puppy threw
. I did not manage to get up on the earth as he seized to me a leg. Having torn off from itself a doggie, saw the thickset man of years of fifty. With an unshaven face, in the patched clothes. It joyfully lit up with a smile on I will greet to the grandmother. And she embraced the brother Ivan.
- Where Taya? On a kitchen garden? - the woman Vera asked.
Ivan somehow was confused at once.- you Pass
to the house, - he invited unexpected guests.
the Grandmother impatiently ran in the first. We behind it. After a bright sunlight appeared in the dark room of a verandah, and then in the spacious room with the curtained-off windows and timbered walls on which I noticed a frame with photos of numerous relatives as it was accepted in villages, in a corner an icon earlier. And under an icon on a bed the woman lay, having heard our voices, she stood up, but did not move. The grandmother started talking.
- the Familiar voice. Who is it? - the woman asked.
- Taya, it I. Your sister - Vera. You what, you do not learn perhaps? Yes I am not one. Watch who arrived to you!
on a voice, and rummaged around air hands, as if trying to embrace the invisible interlocutor. And suddenly we understood that she sees nothing. That is why Ivan was confused.
- As so it happened? Long ago? And why we know nothing?
- Hurt I. Also went blind. Half a year, probably, or perhaps is more. My God! Pleasure - that what! Give, I will embrace all of you, I will kiss. Both Olenyok here, and her children. Oh, what I am happy.
I she clapped the hands. We began to set the table. But found only one cup, one spoon and a thick glass tumbler with the broken-away edge.
- And where ware at you what so dirty you live? A floor is dirty, - the grandmother Ivana began to lecture. That did not even try to justify himself. Like, there arrived the senior sister.
- Oh, useless you. In St. Petersburg of veins. Studied, worked. Threw everything. Went to the country. And who you are now? No, look at yourself! And Taya, she always accurate was, the neatnik.
- Yes I will wash everything, I will wash. The aunt Taya stood up for the brother. - Ivan, - descend on a kitchen garden behind vegetables and to the neighboring village behind a bottle. Let`s walk now. My family arrived. I received pension, rich today. What to you to present to me? Even there is no chocolate. How so I? - Yes you have bread and that is not present, - the grandmother venomously noticed. - What do you eat?
- Potato went. Salt is. And we will buy bread. Children, approach me, - the aunt Taya called us with Serezhka.
. It pulled out from - under pillows crumpled hundred ruble bank notes and began to put them to us, trying to catch palms.
- As it is good that Ivan did not find. Take, do not offend me. I have more and to give - that nothing you. Well, unless from a kitchen garden that you want, take. Please, do not offend. I rich and happy. I need nothing. The main thing, you are with me.
Ya examined her dark old face speckled by grooves of wrinkles. Near eyes rays of goose pads. From - under the faded scarf the mixed-up gray-haired locks of hair were beaten out. Barefoot. On hands and legs grew the long bent claws. Wide rough palms of the toiler. It looked grandmothers are more senior though on age is younger than it for about ten years.something to change
From unexpectedness of a situation and powerlessness on wave of a magic wand, the woman Vera as it seemed to me, talked not really tenderly. And the aunt Taya clung to it, could not inhale on it, and there was a wish to tell “to see enough“.
- Vera, give with you on one bed today we will go to bed, nearby, as in the childhood. Also we will stir, filling up. I to you everything, everything will tell. Ivan me knocked it so that I went blind.
- And you just now speak about it! Yes I to it will set now! To the parasite, boozer!
- That you that you, Vera. Do not touch it. It is not guilty of anything. In total it is guilty, self-race.
- Taya how you with it lived if it beat you? Why in militia did not hand over? There it would be brought up quickly! - the woman Vera was indignant. - Why you suffered? Long ago would throw it, moved to the city to the daughter. Why to it did not complain?
- As I can throw it, Vera. It is weak. I forgave him.
- I do not understand how it is possible to forgive it. It spoiled you, sight deprived, maybe of mind?
- is not necessary, Vera. Do not speak so. Ivan our brother. And my cross, it is visible, me it and to bear.
- is fine and why did not go to a cemetery? Not to find graves, - the grandmother reproached.
- Forgive you us, Vera. And God will forgive you.
Ya listened to these words, and something painfully contracted in me. That night could not fall asleep. In the head their conversation turned. I quietly cried, remembering as the aunt Taya sincerely protected the one who nearly killed it. And it was not represented to me in any way how the little man silent in appearance refined philosophizing about meaning of life beat her.
the Uncle Vanya drove us through the boundary small river to the neighboring village, told about the life in Leningrad. That when returned to the village, neighbors nicknamed him “Petersburger“. About what is not sorry about anything and about anybody.
- Yes, did not establish a family. But to the earth it is close. And with Taya we live in peace and friendship.
- It is sacred? - I ask. there is no
- Saints they with wings it seems. You ask amusing questions.
at Night behind a wall mice rustled, being frightened by rain drops. And near me behind an oven having embraced as in the childhood, two sisters slept. Also can be it, as well as me, huge podsolnukhovy fields dreamed.