Tasteless millet cereal
this month tests for an ovulation were negative, on ultrasonography the doctor cheerfully again, I would even tell out of place fervently, established the fact: “Also does not smell of an ovulation!“ Having looked at my schedule of bazalny temperature, joyfully rendered a verdict: “Wow! Yes, it is not the schedule, it is some fence, with it you will not become pregnant“. Me all the time and washed away to answer it, something like “Ur, companions!“, so it was cheerful in the conclusions and somewhere is even childly direct. On the other hand, all as always, nothing I learned new, lack of an ovulation for me not news. The only thing that haunted my inflamed brain in any way - it is my confidence in pregnancy in this cycle. I do not know what this confidence was based on, it is obvious not on common sense, but it was, I already and the husband adjusted, told the girlfriend. The husband gave out:“ Nonsense. Also be not adjusted even“. Also bought children`s toys. The girlfriend quickened too, in hope that time at me something can turn out, and at it too. Usually I do not throw away such thoughts and feelings - I am afraid to maleficiate, but this time no doubts existed, I did not even begin to care for the hope in one harka, at once told close people... And here on you, some disappointment is simple. End of my praised intuition. The silly woman is naive, 29 years, and I all trust in miracles, in feelings... Marasmus...
Here such I had thoughts, but through some time I was even delighted that so everything turned out, time for pregnancy was extremely unsuccessful - flu epidemics around, I was unwell with a SARS, would shiver over each quarter of aspirin if there would be a hope that pregnancy is possible. And so... To Terafl, Bioparox, anaferon in decent quantities... It seems felt better.
the end of a cycle Came nearer, BT began to fall gradually, and here suddenly rises together with body temperature to 37 and above. Naturally, I do not connect with pregnancy, with despair and a hopelessness began to drink a pine-forest uterus couple of days ago - probably, from - for it. Here those and pine-forest uterus, here those and grass. It`s all right, the difference on BT to 0,4 can will crawl, I pound any, but for statistics pleasantly. More from the force of habit decided to try to do the test, the delay already was decent and the expiration date of the test desperately signaled:“ Use me, otherwise will be late“.
Two strips! For the first time! I one million times scrolled this moment in the head as it will be, there were 1000 witty phrases how to tell the husband, in reply represented his joyful eyes, dances around, kisses, can even tears (well at least at me)... Generally, dream of dreams... In practice it looked absolutely not so, in the head not that the witty phrase was not, from memory even usual words, well and a voice were gone at the same time. I run out to the husband, I stick to him on a door in a bathroom, something escapes like rattle - shout:“ Look... There... In a bathroom“. Even I do not want to describe the person... Crying shame. I remember this scene through some time, I cannot understand why it was impossible to bring the test and at once to show it, it seems not heavy why this makhaniye hands and bustle was necessary... I do not find answers. In the protection there is a wish to tell that reaction of the husband was not much better than mine. I give literal dialogue.
- What is it?!
- the Test.
- On an ovulation?
- What ovulation, okstis, the end of a cycle at me, on pregnancy!
- the Second strip - that what fat, can even pregnancy!
- Pregnancy is confirmed even by a weak second strip!
- cannot be!
- Precisely I speak to you!
- And why at tests for an ovulation the weak strip does not mean an ovulation?
that this tiresome, measured, without shadow of any emotion conversation was conducted by 2 persons who wait not 1 year for emergence of this second strip. I will not give all dialogue completely, it would be desirable to keep within couple of vordovsky pages, I will tell only that having discussed the principle of action of tests for an ovulation and pregnancy, having compared pluses and minuses, we dispersed on the corners. The husband - to the computer, I - on kitchen to cook longer porridge.
Through several tens minutes my man with a smile to ears appears: “So it means? We will have a detishka?“ He is clever, shelmets.we are farther than
A ate millet cereal, pretended more precisely that we eat, taste was felt by neither him, nor I, but the fact that that morning there was a millet cereal, I will never forget, probably.
Now at me 6 weeks. I`m fine. And it is not good. I do not know, there are no objective reasons, but something not that, did ultrasonography 3 days ago, I will wait still at least several days and I will go, I will make repeatedly. So far it was pumped up by a valerian over head and ears not to feel the coming panic. My God, do not take away from us ours to a schastyitsa, give me strength to take out our malyshusechka. If there was such miracle, everything cannot it is so simple to take and come to an end, same everything not a sprosta. Detishka, we very much love you and we wait, please, raise....
P. S. 13 - aya week. A hyper tone, an otsloyka, hospital, an internal hematoma that there still was, I do not remember any more. Thank God that all behind (I hope). Last week saw on ultrasonography small, told the husband that to it it is not similar at all and to me too. Poor, long was upset, did not explain yet that it in general to anybody is not similar, just any 2 balls which constantly float. Probably, it is the head and a little body, but they such pretty, shustrenky, podvizhnenky. I feel every day the God`s help if not God, our malyshenka would already not be, thanks to You, My God. If I knew that for all my sufferings there will be such award and such help, I would not suffer and did not exhaust myself, going into hysterics and mourning the unsuccessful attempts to become pregnant
This story I wrote for my friend Marina. Mother, forgive me that hid all this time from you, there was much “but“, every time tried to tell, and something happened not really good. I think, you will understand me and will forgive. And I protected this for you: “Apchkhiiiya! Khe - a kha - a kha!! Fie on you!“ Well, I for fidelity added it!
I Hope that yours it is thin - the feeling soul, natural kindness and an innate sense of a step will not allow you to take offense on reserved, but very much you the loving woman. Behind this I say goodbye, with a sinking heart and hope for a free pardon I wait for you in ICQ.