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To the son 1,8, it is very difficult to force him to give something from toys.

  • 12. 12. 1999 0:6:9, Vasilyeva Marina for
    to the Son 1,8, it is very difficult - it is almost impossible - to force to give it something from toys. And not only toys - any thing in which he is interested. Both arrangements, and reproaches, and threats - everything is useless. Question: whether it is worth trying to teach it not to be greedy? Or this age, itself will pass, not to strain about it?
    • 15. 12. 1999 19:44:43, Olga
      Is not greed, this its such self-expression.
    • of 14. 12. 1999 11:17:20,
      It is absolutely normal Masha for this age. That to calm you, I can tell here that: at this age for the child a toy - as if continuation of his hand, that is, one may say, that to give it a toy it is like for us to give the hand. In - the second, really are not obvious to it that it gives a toy for a while, but not forever. If he manages to get somehow experience of game in exchanges for a short time, it will be better. On the street when other children together with immoderately persistent mothers try to persuade to exchange your son, be on his party and help to get out of the situation, for example, tell that it is his favourite toy, and he is not ready shares yet. I remember me, the remark very much calmed (in the book on children`s psychology) what to learn shares - it is one of the most difficult and necessary tasks in life. Not all adults can share. I, for example, to the first comer will not allow to drive by the car. Ridiculously of course, but his toys are very important for the kid, it is his world. So to force it is useless. Be on the party of the child, play with him as it is told in other letter in exchanges with house dolls. Everything will be OK. Masha.
    • 12. 12. 1999 4:5:0, Olga
      Hi, Marina! So it also should not give on age is the next stage of development. And if to force as time greed and can be fixed. And to suggest to change at first on something - it is necessary, but not through violence. Olga
    • 13. 12. 1999 5:30:23, Spirin Irina Marin`s
      , do not hurry! Do not force the little son against will so far to leave toys. Tell some thought-up stories simply more with the thought-up heroes (and it is better that the main character was a little son), who make fine acts, are on friendly terms, play together. Turn, so to speak, educational process into game. I will a little recede from a subject. When daughters there was about a year and three, she bit, pinched and rejoiced at the same time. I absolutely despaired, thought that it forever, no arrangements and slaps helped. Then decided everything - to endure, embraced her infinitely, ironed, told a lot of tender words, told similar stories. In half a year all it vanished as if by magic. Now it is the tender child, does not fight, does not bite. It I all to the fact that at once everything does not become patience, Marin`s patience - everything will turn out!
    • 13. 12. 1999 6:27:43, Olga Marin`s
      , perhaps it is also worth stopping for a while all trying or to begin not with those toys which he holds in hand now, and from what someone has interesting another. For example, - specially to buy from some house plush toy for this purpose something attractive to the kid and to play a sketch on behalf of this toy - watch what I have, you want to play, and give I your toy I will play - that in which he is not interested at present - i.e. to show behavior model in such situation, to thank with all the heart. And it is possible and not once. And with other children so far and not a nadoolga
  • 15. 12. 1999 16:53:11, Vasilyev Marin
    Many thanks for responses! From everything told I understood that all - should try to learn to be given: in game, without forcing to exchange, etc., and without insisting, correctly? On drift everything is better not to let?
    • of 17. 12. 1999 2:11:14, Olga to
      Yes, is necessary a positive example of behavior, especially if before there were attempts to force to share force, or punishment for refusal to share. Marina, when punish - too turns out a behavior reinforcement (only wrong) - better to show as it is necessary to behave, but not to punish for wrong. And with return of the toys it is not necessary to hurry - really, it is heavy to little children to separate itself from the things and they can give something, being only sure that it for them is safe.
    • 17. 12. 1999 13:11:11, Vasilyev Marin Well
      that you! There were no attempts to force! Tried differently:
      1) I ask, I persuade and I promise to give right there
      2) I ask on behalf of some toy (darling) of
      3) “we take offense“ at it (I and/or a toy)
      4) I try to talk as to the adult: and the father gives everything to you, and I give, and the grandmother why you do not give?
      5) I try to exchange on something very favourite
      6) we play “representations“ with the grandmother as we each other give everything, right there we return, we praise each other etc. of
      7) if suddenly (purely incidentally!, for example, dropped) the prosimy thing everything is it appeared at me in hands, I begin to praise highly the son what he kind, not greedy etc.
      I Pound - zero.
    • 17. 12. 1999 22:10:47, Marina Very well works with
      : let`s play together, we to me you will throw a ball, I to you, again you to me. I have a cub of your age, is greedy much, but if to organize the general game, then plays. Every time “pledge“ the word I explain with something that it is better for it - let me pour, let me get, let`s play together, show as the doggie barks, and now let me show.
  • 12. 12. 1999 12:22:22, Kuzmishcheva Olga
    A at us a few other question: senior (4 and a half years) just does not give any chance younger to play what it would not take - whether it be a toy or any other subject - everything is selected in the same second! Just I do not know what already to do. Tried to persuade, to agree, swear, I buy identical toys - all the same takes away. And she is not deprived of attention. I try, it is as much as possible time to devote personally to Katenka. Maybe someone has an experience of the solution of a similar question?
    • of 13. 12. 1999 3:2:31, Nyusha
      Ya I do not apply for the ultimate truth, I know that my message will seem to someone wrong (as well as it seemed to me at first), but I will write - for information, and to draw conclusions to you. To the senior child was 4,5 when was born younger, he strongly was jealous though I tried to pay it as much as possible attention too. Was jealous so that it was necessary to address the psychologist. The psychologist told:“ And you tell the senior that you love him more, be not afraid, younger all the same yet understands nothing, and the senior will understand that it not so in a year, but crisis will not be any more“. I very long doubted, but made as the psychologist told. It was ours with the senior a personal secret, nobody knew it, he very often approached me and asked again on an ear whether the truth it, and it was really very important for it. You can not trust, but the jealousy passed absolutely. He very much likes to play with younger, gives it the toys, acts as “lawyer“ if I abuse it, very gently treats it...
    • 13. 12. 1999 0:1:27, Elena Here is how time * to devote
      personally to Katenka * can serve to you bad service. It turns out that you as if oppose it younger, and not always and when there is time or other conditions. At our acquaintances mother always tried to put younger to bed when she goes to a garden for the senior to find for it more time, but when nevertheless Nikitk had to take with himself the senior tried to push a carriage or to hit the brother. It just disturbed it, took away mother`s attention, do not despair, and try to analyse attentively a situation, talk to the daughter. This children`s jealousy often has such reasons which it is not always easy for adult to present and understand.