Development or happiness? This article about the developing toys I wrote
very long, trying to connect the personal experience, the feelings as the parent and that knowledge which I had, in material under the name “Here Is How, in My Opinion, It Is Necessary to Play with Children“. Then I understood what should not be done it. It is not necessary to teach anybody to anything and to turn live experience and the live relations in a row of recommendations. Let it will be better, as in life - living people on the one hand and clever books - about other, open end and questions without answer.
U me two children. And I always was that is called active mother, that is tried to give to the children the best. From the fact that it seemed to me good. My eldest son was born just at the beginning of boom of “the developing toys“ and books it seems “We raise the genius“. The developing toys quickly became fashion and were pleasant to many parents. Still! Not just toys, and a useful thing, bought such toys more, gave them to the child “on, the child, develop“ - and you are a good parent! Do not think only that I write it about other parents. No, it I is exclusive about itself.
Ya it was taken by idea of the developing toys too. Went to exhibitions, climbed the special websites, talked to all who to me seemed more skilled and advanced parent (tutor), than I. Mastering the developing toys together with the son, I was simply forced “to return to the childhood“ and to play them. Why? Yes because he somehow did not seek to play them...here we with it “played“
I: threw geometrical figures into a sorter and called them (a triangle, an oval, a circle etc.) in frames put forms (geometrical or again - that is a little more cheerful - figures of animals).
I I quickly enough understood that personally these toys are not pleasant to me at all. And I do not want to play them. With them it is impossible to think up any fantastic story, any live game. They cannot be loved, to press to itself. Having observed the son, I saw, as he does not wish “to develop“ on science, and everything strives to build the house, to drive on the machine, to popleskatsya in a pool, to hammer a nail together with the father or together with mother to bake pies or to wash the floor... From all toys which I bought the son played only in the designer and the car (you know, such which it is possible to ride, making a start legs from a floor).
Ya by inertia continued to be respectful to the developing toys. Also considered herself as lazy mother whom “will not reach“ in any way or which just tries a little... And always I grieved when there came time to play with the son - and there is no wish to play, and it is necessary, and badly think of yourself...
But once when my acquaintance began to complain to me: “You represent, bought the son for a fantastic sum the developing center, and it did not even approach it, and here to an inflatable cheap ball the whole day rejoiced!“ I suddenly thought (especially as I had a developing center before eyes) that the boy is right. As it is possible to play it!
Ya remembered the childhood, the toys and games... Anything special - a doll, the daughter - mother, shop, construction of “domushka“, games with water, soups and porridges from sand and compote from a clover, candy wrappers... But games always gave me pleasure. You understand, it was pleasant to fill sand in a saucepan, to pour water, of matches and heads of flowers to do ladies and gentlemen and to organize balls, to wrap pebbles in a piece of paper and to count coins, playing in shop... And all sense of game was only that it gave joy.I do not remember
Ya that we missed. And my eldest son obviously missed. And his friend too. Toys they had a sea - in comparison with my childhood, and game and a keen interest was not.
I I already thoroughly thought of what toys are necessary to children? whether they are necessary to them in general? and why these correct developing toys do not make children happy, and force them to miss?
I I very much wanted to ask other parents:
- In what toys and games are played by your children?
- they Miss or not in an environment of toys?
- to What your children really rejoice?
- you never noticed that children play even without toys - with helpers that is called means - pans, baskets, rags, cones, i.e. with any objects? The thought did not come to your mind that toys which we hazardously buy (and we spend for them big money) not really - that are necessary to children or are not even necessary at all? whether
- it seems to you that if to teach the child to the fact that it at the age can / wants - means to try to make of it someone whom he is not, i.e. just not to accept it it what it is. Perhaps it will also gain some skills, but whether it will use them? and whether will make it it is happy?
A happy wants to be very much. You noticed, as children, and adults are happy and rejoice, looking at the ball departing to the sky?
Psychologists and teachers of Germany about life without toys
“Life without toys“ - sounds quite sadly, but in reality it turns out absolutely on the contrary. This idea was checked in practice in many kindergartens of Germany. The result of this at first sight doubtful experience was very positive: children clash with each other less and - to surprise of sceptics - they miss much less.to
to Some parents so liked result that they adopted idea and began to arrange “days off for toys“ and at home.Having been
without toys, children become - contrary to expectations of adults - very active, begin to think out new ideas for games. They “include“ the imagination and turn the most usual household goods into toys. The table, chairs, stools, pillows, cloths or sheets become very valuable things for game. But - and this most important - value of partners in game grows incredibly, children become each other very important.Idea “toys were away on vacation
“ arose in the middle of 90 - x years in Bavaria in Catholic kindergartens. Parents met this idea with big scepticism. It was checked in several groups, “holiday of toys“ reached till 3 months in a year.
Tutors of kindergartens in which experiment was made established that at the time of “holiday for toys“ children communicate with each other is more interested, their relations become stronger therefore children feel in collective more surely. Very positively such vacation affects development of the speech. Progress in this area most impressed tutors and parents. After carrying out experiment of children interrogated that was not enough for them, and they called, as a rule, cubes, Lego and dolls. I.e. those toys which demand activity from the child. Any child did not complain of boredom!
of Supervision of tutors from the Bavarian kindergartens are supplemented with experience of valdorfsky kindergartens and forest kindergartens (analogs of our country boarding schools) where children practically have no ready toys. Children play outdoors with sticks, stones, chestnuts, kerchiefs and other similar “simple“ things - and do not complain of life.
the Idea of “vacation for toys“ is a reason for us, adults, to reflect and remember once again (we find numerous examples in own history and in culture of other people): to play, children do not need special objects, all necessary for game - at them inside.
of Etologi about value of game, or Game - business serious
“Etologi see training, check of implementation of congenital programs of behavior in games. Young animals play much - among themselves, with parents, with cubs of other types, with objects. Games not only a pleasant pastime, they are necessary for full physical and mental development. The cubs deprived of games grow aggressive, coward. Their reactions to situations, especially at contacts with other individuals, are often wrong. If, say, young lions do not play, they will not be able to hunt when they grow up.
of Game in a game of tag, a hide-and-seek, fathers and mothers, feeding of dolls, care of them, fight, collective fight (war) - all familiar subjects of childish sports, the general with animals. Therefore children so easily find a common language and play with puppies, kittens, kids. The interest in construction of primitive floorings, tents, thirst for caves, hollows is already purely human congenital program. The constructions prepared by adults are pleasant to children much less, than those objects, improper from the point of view of the adult, which children find in the nature or the environment“. V. Dolnik “The disobedient child of the biosphere“
of Game and toy of noble children
“... We had toys the simplest: small smooth balls or pieces of a tree which we called churochka; I built of them some cages, and my sister liked to destroy them, having waved the hand“. S. T. Aksakov.“ Childhood of Bagrov - the grandson“ (the head “Sketchy memoirs“)
“Country girls from the earliest age liked to play at all seasons of the year
of Game and a toy of country children in anklebones. They saved these articulate stones which remained from mutton jelly, stored in special birch bark pesterochka, as required even painted. Game was not hazardous though very long, developing dexterity and sharpness. The quickest kept in air on three - four anklebones at the same time, threw up new and managed to catch. in the Spring small children suited
cages where - nibud in the full glare of the sun where the north does not fly. Two - three boards put on stones in a trice turned into the house, crocks and splinters, vytayavshy on a bed, changed in expensive ware. Imitating adults, 5 - 6 - summer girls went from a cage to a cage, were stayed etc.fathers or grandfathers surely did
For boys carriages; - the real carts on four wheels. Wheels even greased with tar that did not creak. In carriages; children carried hay; firewood went on a wedding just rolled each other, in turn turning into horses“. V. Belov.“ Everyday life of the Russian North“ (from the head “Silver and gold of the childhood“)
What is told by experts?
Elena Abdullaeva (the leading expert of the Center of game and a toy of the Moscow state psychologist - pedagogical university, the children`s psychologist, the valdorfsky teacher):
“Really, toys so are; primitive from the point of view of modern ordinary consciousness as to look - that there is nothing. And nevertheless live in them - different beings live and can really work. It can be images of the child, a zverenka, the old man or the baby - with the moods, desires, words and gestures. All this is inhaled in them by the imagination of the child. There, in these simple toys and materials, there is a place for this imagination. Nobody is better than the child will not tell for a doll that it wants to tell, nobody is better than him will not understand that his toy puppy wants.
Interactive figurative toys - dogs, kitties and different beings unknown to science will tell everything - even I love you. Stroke me, and now embrace . But there does not live heat and geniality of the relations. With them the child grows dumb. È / or turns into their prefix. At the same time his own imagination, representations decay, die, without having been born.
the So-called developing centers are falls of various feelings for perception of the baby, but there is no place to silence and an opportunity to concentrate, listen, repeat action and to quietly listen to the feeling from it. Rustling - singing - a creak of numerous artificial materials bring down falls of feelings on the baby. Having appeared among them, the child is forced to rush from one impression to another, not especially penetrating. It at first carries away, then excites and tires the kid, but does not lead to development of ability of perception and attention.by
to Children it is really vital to vchuvstvovatsya in the opportunities, in the immediate environment, in life of surrounding seniors - in those objects and put that they have. Therefore often children of early age ignore toys and prefer to the most exotic centers and models the real things, tools and materials of parents. It is a way of development of the world of adults - through the real objects and imitation the clear, daily repeating actions with them.
Game and manipulations with not properly executed natural material bears the enormous informative and developing potential. Taking a piece of bark, a stick, etc. in hand the child perceives at once a huge set of its properties which not perhaps and it is not necessary for normally developing child to segment. Perceives its form, weight, the size, quality and features of a surface, color and the relations with light; at the first actions learns stability, katuchest if carries, buoyancy, a sduvayemost, a ratio in a form and the size with a hand, with other objects; investigates what this thing does not do - to roll, dig, cover, stick, to look at through, to turn into someone or into something etc. All this in such variety as the nature, no special, artificially created subject gives. For this reason the much bigger number of various information is born by a curved stick, a fancy stone, a textiles rag, than specially made standards“.
At each age this variety of properties and transformations of the same low-issued thing finds the sense. Children of early age investigate excitedly properties - for some reason the subject enters this saucepan, and in they are is not present. Sounds anyway, it is easily rumpled or does not change a form at all whether keeps in folded form or it is developed, it is possible to pile or not etc. Then the moment when in not properly executed material the child learns some image comes. A pipe on which water, a phonendoscope which the doctor puts to a breast, the hunched old man, a deer with branchy horns other flows. One simple thing awakes in is mute all new and new associations, new communications which depart from an initial reality further and further are built. The intelligence practises in it. This growing multistage row developing in figurative game means much more variable, put and multidimensional development, than the choice from the combinations which are already thought over by adults something “correct“. The child himself sets and looks for confirmations “correct“ in those parameters which for it in data the moment acted into the forefront. Adults are often not able to capture and estimate this multidimensional variability of children`s imagination because game is not appreciated as means of development and assimilation of a living arrangement. Game is forced out by assimilation of the standards which are thought up by someone tasks, answers to the questions which did not arise at the child.
meanwhile researches show that with enthusiasm, with the imagination the playing child has by 6 years higher level of intellectual development, than his “educated“ “early developed“ not player the peer. Independence, creativity, confidence at the child is a lot of and with enthusiasm the player prevails over these qualities early of the trained children. Management of the attention and focus of actions - too. And, above all, at the high level communication with peers and such human valuable qualities as partnership and sympathy.the Toy, of course, has to attract
. But not just to attract with brightness, singularity, to entertain a dikovinnost, and to give long pleasure of action with it, desire and a possibility of independent actions, search of variety of its use. still it is necessary to look for such real toys... But they also make an invaluable arsenal of development in game.
Alyona Lebedeva (the leader of the course “Potyagushenki“ for young mothers with children from 0 to 1 years of the family center “Rozhdestvo“, mother of 6 children, the midwife):
“The fact that the child studies, playing, we understood long ago, but that, chtabout studying, it does not play - left from our attention. Buying various “razvivalka“ to children, we not only distract them from the real game, we simplify their perception of the world, driving into concepts of “oval“, “square“, “triangle“. Only in game the child begins to do by own experience what he noticed at a leisure in life. If he does not speak this situation, will not lose in different options, this experience will leave him, will be forgotten. Really, pieces of matter, a branch, a piece of wood will give the chance to the child to reflect and imagine, repeat and copy, expressing to it the relation. And here the transformer will carry out only according to the set scheme. Too the end result that genius what each child from the birth till 5 years is to limit in the imagination.