Rus Articles Journal

Who in the house the owner?

In youth all of us were rebels and extremists, swept aside conventions of the world of adults and all wanted to make in own way. But, becoming is more senior, with surprise noticed that we repeat the thoughts heard in the childhood from mother with the father and, in general, we watch at the world them eyes.

Over the years each of us more and more clearly realizes

that views of the person, his manner of communication with other people - no other than a tracing-paper of behavior models of his parents. Especially it concerns brachno - the family relations. Because long ago it is noticed that the adult in a family which he establishes, that type of the relations which was characteristic of his parents seeks to realize.

of the Daughter of Pasha Angelinoy...

of Parents is not chosen, as we know. Ideally - them it is necessary to love and try to resemble them. Because against the nature you will not trample - you will be all the same similar to them, it is only necessary not to love already himself. Proceeding from the aforesaid it is supposed that the person, adopting model of the relations of the parents, acquires living position which can be defined or as maternal (fatherly) or as affiliated (filial). If in a parental family strong and vigorous mother who besides paid to the daughter at most of attention and care (let in a strict form) dominated, then at the girl on her example the maternal position is formed. Subsequently she seeks to become the relatives reliable and careful mother who knows everything better than others and is always ready to help and at times and to take in hand. The boy in such family has a passive filial position. In his life the woman will be always necessary to get from it maternal support and tender stroking on a head to sob out, having buried in her skirt, tears of disappointment, offense and anger.

... and Alexey Stakhanov`s sons

If domination in a family belonged to the father, then the woman will acquire an affiliated role more likely. It for the rest of life it will be necessary to bear the little girl, it is easier for them to lean against someone`s strong shoulder than most freight of the solution of vital problems.

the man also falls Into a similar state, having an example of the strong and dominating father in the childhood. He will try to assimilate to it and to play a fatherly role - the owner and the head responsible for the decisions, ready to become a support close, but at the same time introducing dictatorial notes in life.

And what`s next? it is easy to h2 to present to

how there will be family life when the matured girl and the boy transfer to it the positions created in the childhood. The relations can develop quite harmoniously if these positions supplement each other: for example, mother - the son, the father - the daughter. At the same time one of spouses with ease accepts the leading role of another, and itself at the same time is ready to obey and submit. The relations, start up also unequal, are natural and satisfy both. Such family is quite safe until someone from spouses does not rebel. However, it can never occur.

the Situation is much worse if such complementary combination is absent. Collision in a married couple mother - the father leads to wearisome fight for leadership. Each of family members will strengthen the domination at the expense of another. It is clear, what to live in the atmosphere of eternal stayer race on forces the little.

If spouses introduce in a family respectively affiliated and filial positions, too will not envy their relations. Both the husband, and the wife is not able to make crucial decisions and to live “on - to the adult“. The spirit of disorder and “eternal holiday“ alternates with gloomy tragedies apropos “here why you spent all money what were in the house, on these foolish cartridges?“.

the European Union

However, the described scheme approaches only the conservative type of a family constructed on the prevalence relations - submission. The modern ideal of the family relations is far from this authoritative model. Today, establishing a family, most of people dreams of the democratic equal union where the rights of one do not strike at the rights of another where responsibility is mutual, and duties are fairly distributed. Where the relations are under construction not by the principle the parent - the child, and decisions are made by two adults who are respectful to each other.