I will send the child to kindergarten?
As often us are struck up to the soul depth that children in large families do not go to kindergarten. And as promptly we try to condemn such mothers, even without having thought that it is necessary to condemn, perhaps, those who send children to so-called “educational institutions“. Once I took an interest at the girlfriend why she does not send children to a garden, and heard that she gave birth to them not in order that they were brought up by the aunt Dusya from kindergarten. This idle time and in too time the answer, surprising on contents, set me thinking of that and whether we are right, giving children into strange hands, for supervision of tutors?remembered
Ya how my eldest son painfully long got used and without special pleasure went to a garden from 3,5 years. As we replaced three gardens in search of the best and as I took away the child after a lunch because longer, than in the afternoon, the child did not maintain there. Remembered how took away absolutely from an average garden in 5 years because it so asked and lamented that forces were not to resist.
I I asked the husband a question of the younger son: “And to Maksimk we will give to a garden?“ The husband told at once that till three years it is not even necessary to think of it. And I also did not think. If it is honest, then I consider not quite normal mummies who give kids when they are one and a half years old or even earlier, in a day nursery. So early to leave the child to the mercy of fate, there have to be very good reasons. Something like appearance at work that to this child not to starve to death. Another I cannot justify with anything such act. And all reasonings on a subject that the child needs to communicate in group of children that he needs to get used to society, are regarded by me as an idle talk of adults who do not love the child.
Therefore I also did not think to give the son in one and a half years. The husband gave to me a heap of arguments in favor of what till three years of the child mother has to bring up to register the most basic moral concepts and vital values in his pure soul.“ Well, and after three it is possible and to give, not terribly,“ - the husband told me. And I all cannot calm down in any way. But it is not terrible to give the child to foreign people after three years?
Nobody will deny that the child comes to this world through mother. And what is learned by this world with its help. Mother for the kid is its small and in too time the huge world out of which it is lost as the personality. He should feel physically its unique heat, to touch her tender and gentle hands, to look in its face full of kindness and love. Mother is a guide. And she is responsible for where she will lead the child. And the child needs to know that he not one in it it is confused - the cruel world surrounding with his roughness and rage. And as to it to learn it if...
Let`s remember very typical case: mother brings the child into kindergarten, the tutor is kind and benevolent, patiently communicates with the kid. The tutor - a miracle: kind eyes, soft voice. Mother is glad and happy, her kid in kind hands. In a minute after its leaving kind hands of the tutor become rigid, they inconsiderately are enough the child who got on a case, and shake it with an incredible force. Kind eyes became small and prickly. From a soft voice in no time there is no trace left also. The tutor flushes the person and violently shouts, continuing to shake the child: “Where you climb, Eagles? How many time to repeat that it cannot be done? You that, stupid?“
the Child begins to cry and hears in reply to the same by a prickly cold voice said: “There is nothing to shout, I to you not mother, with me these features do not pass. March in a corner“.Costing
in a corner, picking a finger a colored wall, the child tries to find the answer to a question in the three-year golovushka: “Why? Why mother gives it here?“ What did he make it that mother left him, and left him with this evil aunt which to it not mother?
Next day the kid awfully does not want to go to a garden, than arouses indignation of mother who is late for work. It roars greedily, it desperately plants the feet, catches that there are forces for a doorway. And, apparently, that life comes to an end for it when mother pulls out the hand from its hand and, without turning around, leaves, having left in a huff of kindergarten.
the Kid cries and calls: “Mother, mother, a maaa - a maaaa!“ But there is no mother. That that is created to be preserved and cherished, that that is created to embrace and console, that that for it - the whole world, that mother is absent-. Is not present a number of the guide. And the child as the blind person who lost a crutch is confused and helpless. And that which not mother speaks:“ At - to an uu, started whining. You will stop roaring, you will come into group“.Smearing
small cams of a tear on cheeks, the child, sobbing a little more, goes to group. But it any more not the fact that was earlier. From his soul already broke off a piece. It will be broken further. Every day on a piece...
there Will pass time, and the child will get used that mother leaves it here, he even will begin to understand over time that so it is necessary, rules are that. He will get used. Will get used to be part of crowd which we call children`s collective. Will get used that with its feelings nobody in this crowd is considered. Will get used that it is necessary to listen and obey the strangers who are not loving it people. Will get used also that it among this crowd one. Will get used...
But unless needs to get used to it? Unless for this purpose it came to this world?
Ya I do not remember children who would run in kindergarten ahead of adults moreover and hurried them. Also would not like to leave a garden in the evening home. If such children also exist, means to them badly at home. They lack communication even if negative, they lack attention, and it is unimportant what, to them does not get care even if state. The child can be glad to go to kindergarten if it has no warm house with tender mother and the patient grandmother. Because any the best, the most advanced, most elite kindergarten cannot be compared to the house.In kindergarten nobody will ask
: “And what you want for lunch today?“ Will put a plate there, and, looking as the kid is picked it by a spoon, will shout:“ You eat that is given, at home will be fastidious. Do not eat yet, from - for a table you will not leave“. And the child will swallow of hated food in half with tears.
my average child hates stewed cabbage. Just seeing this dish turns it inside out. And all after about 8 years ago in one of the best kindergartens it was violently fed with this cabbage, pushing it in a mouth and forcing to swallow. It choked to an emetic reflex, but he could not but eat. It could not go against rules, against system. And nobody in a kindergarten was going to feed it with something another. With the kind teacher in days when there was a cabbage, it just remained hungry. The kind aunt allowed it not to eat, but in exchange gave nothing.
A my eldest son long could not overcome the fear caused only by one thought that it is necessary to approach with a question people. He could not approach and ask something rather familiar people. And about unfamiliar in general the speech did not go. Reached to ridiculous that in 12 years I sponsored him as 5th summer kid. And all why? Because in kindergarten shouted at it when it approached with the questions, “why-askers“ and “zachemka“. Shouted or, at best, waved away as from an annoying fly. And the child began to be afraid to approach and to ask something. What works I and to it should have overcome this his fear which could not be.
U me in an album the photo of the senior for New year in a garden is. It has such shchenyach sad eyes there that every time when I look at this photo, my tears well up. I do not know that I happened there and why it is such sad. I was not near. But, looking at this photo, I understood how to my son it was bad in a kindergarten. As it there, among a lot of other children, was lonely. Now I in panic do not want to see the same that made out in a view of the senior child of photos in eyes of the younger son. I do not want to take away happy life of the house from my kid and to give in exchange unfortunate existence in kindergarten.
Supporters of kindergarten education can though everything chorus to chant that it is wonderful to eat - marvelous kindergartens that the child has to communicate with peers that it is impossible to preserve all life of the child against everything, having covered it with the skirt. Chant as much as necessary! I am convinced that it is better for the child, than in a large family and cannot be anywhere. Here to you and communication with children, and uneven-age that stimulates development, you and true care, and care with love here.
Here to you and one more argument in favor of a possession of many children: you do not want to poison the child with stay in kindergarten - arrange it a kindergarten with numerous brothers and sisters at home. What difficulties of education would not arise before mother or the grandmother who can help mother to potter with children, in a large family these difficulties in love and tolerance are overcome. And in kindergarten on them and attention - that will not be turned.to
to Whom need your children, except you and the family very close to you? Unless the most wonderful tutor on light will be able to love so how you love either your mother, or your husband? Unless the tutor has as much patience in relation to your children how many and at you? When, looking at the cases drawn for the 100-th time and the clothes scattered on all apartment, you lose self-control, and your patience comes to an end, to you the love comes to the rescue. And to that, which not mother and even not the grandmother, and by and large nobody for your child what will come? Yes the rage will come to the child. And it will absorb this rage. Also will also learn to shout and fly into a rage as it is done by the tutor.Notice
that I speak about the good and adequate tutor. This is most often the woman who not really - that also loves children, just in life she. Was attached anywhere any more and mentally sick people meet in kindergartens also. Dismiss, but to call healthy women who punish children, locking them stark naked in the cold nursery shower, I cannot. And such cases were, and scoffed at children and sexually solicited. No, no, is not present and once again not. I will not lead the child in a garden! But it is only my decision. And, thank God, that I have an opportunity to stay at home with the child. I am sincerely sorry for those mothers that learn from tutors that their child learned to draw the car, to mold a hare or to sing the song. It is a pity to me that mothers of it do not see. And I know that most of women has no opportunity to stay at home with children. I can only advise such mothers one: entrust children to grandmothers and if there is no such opportunity, then find the nurse which will be able to become children another. You know, Arina Rodionovna still meet, but, alas, even more often not in kindergartens.