As we expelled monsters of
to my son nearly 4 years. Summer mostly he will see off with the grandmother at the dacha. When I last time came to visit them, my mother crossed and told:
- My God, thank God, you, at last, arrived! And I can make that nothing - Danya on a step does not depart from me! Even when sleeps, I cannot depart, it is even impossible to run to a toilet. >
it Turned out p that my son suddenly began to be afraid very strongly of something and it is besides so strong that everywhere went by a hand with the grandmother, when I arrived, with me. I began to find out that it at them happened why such fear suddenly could appear. Earlier the child himself quietly played on a site, itself visited the neighboring houses, played one on the second floor, and suddenly - as changed.
Mother remembered that shortly before the described events they with neighbors and their kids walked around seasonal dachas. Militiamen drove up to them and began to ask whether they saw the unfamiliar man - at them the detainee ran away and already attacked in the nearby woods one woman.
Danya on a visit to the neigbour gathered Later - to the girl there is five years, and that to it and tell - come supposedly now we will frighten you by any horror stories there, and he with cries and crying by run came back home. On my questions of what so frightens him, answered that everywhere monsters hid - them is that he and is afraid.
At first he told that it to it is terrible, but then it “turned out“ that I am a coward and I am afraid to go one on rooms therefore it should drive me everywhere by a hand that to me it was not so terrible. I, of course, did not resist and praised it for the fact that it such courageous also preserves me. Recognition that he is afraid could not be located in its small heart. Well it is also not necessary - recognition of such truth would not bring it benefit, it is impossible to destroy his self-assessment at the child.
Perhaps and other reasons were, I do not know. But it was necessary to undertake something urgently.decided to begin
Ya with the simplest, but very effective ways of fight against fears. At first we passed across all house, and scared these monsters. With jokes and laughter we growled as tigers, on each corner, turn and a recess where frights could hide. After such procedure the son began to move sometimes alone on rooms, periodically porykivy to the right and on the left. Then I told it that all monsters very much are afraid of songs. Therefore if it seems to you that somewhere monsters hid nearby, you it is necessary to sing loudly and they will run up. It was and is amusing and very touching to hear the loud songs reaching from its room - the kid diligently struggled with the fear and, apparently, firmly intended to win a victory. But not just to scare away monsters, and to overcome them finally, we made here that. I gave to the son paper, paints, brushes and asked to draw that or those of whom he so is afraid. The son apprehended a task with enthusiasm, with pleasure drew something multi-colored (quite nice, in my opinion) and told that here they two monsters who frighten him. Then I seated him to myself on knees, facing myself, eye to eye and asked to tell, than these monsters as they frighten him as they look are so terrible. The little son greedily described all this. Then we parted on a balcony in a saucepan a kosterok, he burned pieces of paper with drawings then we long heated them - watered from a bryzgalka for flowers until ashes became gray porridge, and in completion of all drowned in a toilet bowl. With all confidence I to it declared that from a toilet bowl still any monster could not return and an issue with them resolved.
Every other day the son asked to burn once again monsters as it turned out that some returned back. Though it seems to me that it very much liked most to set fire to paper and to fill in it with water. We repeated procedure and with that went back to the dacha. To mine and mother`s to happiness the son began to behave normally again - one walked, played, only sometimes he remembers about those monsters, but not as something frightening, and it is rather as one of the facts of the past - there was it, but everything passed.the Fear in itself is quite natural
to the small child. There are also age fears which are inherent in children of a certain age. For example, most of small children are afraid to fill up one, or are afraid of unexpected sounds, doctors and one are afraid to remain. They often at this age can be afraid of a heap of clothes, noise in pipes or the elevator, pieces of furniture. It is necessary to explain to the child quietly and patiently groundlessness of such fears, it is possible to clean together with him things, to leave to the elevator and to show at what moment he begins to work, explain how it occurs.
should Get rid of fears gradually. If the child, for example, is afraid of cats, then it is not necessary at once to force him to iron an animal, overcoming the fear at any cost. Let him at first watch them from far away, at distance, safe for himself.
As a rule, such fears pass over time. But there are children who owing to the character do not share the fears with parents, exhaust them inside. The child accumulates fears, the alarm grows and it creates the soil for formation of future neurosis. It is in that case better to consult with the expert.
Often parents are authors of fears at the children - when we with the eyes expanded for horror watch how our child gets on a short flight of stairs at a playground or we speak to it “do not do so, I am afraid that you will fall, will be cut, will burn...“. Observe yourself whether often you in conversation even with other people speak “I am afraid that...“ . On the child huge impact is exerted by behavior of parents therefore do not show at it uncertainty in the forces. Besides, the child at younger age cannot explain to himself why always kind and tender mother can sometimes and abuse and punish. And as towards parents children of this age have no aggression, there are terrible characters through whom negative emotions find a way out.the correct family atmosphere is very important
For fight against children`s fears. Do not create a condition for cultivation of fear - you do not shout at the child, do not quarrel at it. Are absolutely necessary a stable quiet and measured situation in the house. Come into corporal contact with the child more often - embrace, put on knees, take by hand. Try to understand the child, and never deride him and do not abuse for his fears. Never you shame the child for the fact that he is afraid. Understand, to it it is really terrible what he thinks out nothing to you to spite. The child is not able to think up and play so any scenario especially for you yet. Do not call him the coward. It will be even worse if the kid not to lose your love, hides that to him it is terrible and bad. Fears will leave inside, will take root there and will lodge for long time. Also symptoms which will be difficult to be connected then with last children`s fears will result and it is necessary to spend a lot of time to establish connection., please, do not tell
I if you have a boy that he behaves as the little girl. To me always happens very offensively for girls when I hear something similar on “well you raznylsya (you complain, you behave) as the little girl“.
Very strong cure for fear - humour. What ridiculously cannot already be terrible in any way. Let the child will surely in detail tell about how his fear looks, an animal it or the person, a monster or still who what at its horror story the head - hands - legs that he eats and than it is terrible. Because something abstractly awful is always more terrible than something more concrete. When the enemy is known in detail, he is already not so terrible, it is easier to struggle with him. And it is possible to try to make friends with a monster, to present it sick, lonely and pathetic. Then it will appear that it is necessary not to be afraid of it, and to regret.
Anyway should belong very seriously to fears of the child, at whatever age they were. If you do not manage to cope by own forces - address the psychotherapist that small children`s fears did not lead to serious adult problems.