From where children undertake? Not others, and the
In the fairy tale the woman who had no children found the Thumbelina in a flower. In modern life the role of a magic plant dropped out to a test tube where there is an artificial insemination. But, unfortunately, the science is not omnipotent yet. The miracle will not be? Or perhaps it is necessary to look on other bed?
Same, as all. Almost
Still childless parents vainly spend time in medical offices, their long-awaited child, perhaps, was already born.
In the Russian children`s homes there live tens of thousands of children.
It is undoubted, adoption as a way to do away with childlessness - a step extraordinary. The birth of own, blood child too, of course, is accompanied by alarms, but nevertheless this business natural. As midwifes like to speak, “all give birth“. And here not all adopt. Any normal person will very strong think before he undertakes such responsibility. Especially as there is a lot of reasons for doubts.
For example, hereditary diseases and alcoholism. Fears are not groundless because “almost healthy“ among orphans really it is not enough and they get on care of the state most often from godlessly drinking parents. And the past at these children at all awful therefore to disappear completely, without having left in soul of a mark, it cannot.But we will look at
on all this from a different angle. Good doctors, psychological support and just love are necessary for these children special attention. Even in children`s home where the situation is far from real house, the zavshivlenny slobs found in cellars for only a few months turn into the good smiling children. On what response the family for which the adopted child - long-awaited and only can count!
the Law is the law
tell much About procedure of adoption of it that it directs at unambiguous conclusions: the system wallowed in bureaucracy and bribery and therefore it is necessary to go on instances very long. However, the most part of these stories narrates about troubles of the western adoptive parents that it is natural: the order of the international adoption at us is stated in the law badly. The Russian adoptive parents can hope for the best.
Candidates have to address first of all to body of guardianship and a popechitelst (where to find it, will tell in local Committee on Education). With itself it is necessary to bring copies of the passport and the marriage certficate, the certificate of the occupied living space, the document on the income and medical certificate on a state of health.
Moreover, will force to put them the signature that the conclusion of doctors is read and is taken into consideration. And if the diagnosis raises doubts, it is possible to carry out independent examination.
needs to wait for visit of the representative of body of guardianship and guardianship Further. The guest (usually at us women are engaged in guardianship) will check conditions and a way of life of potential adoptive parents, and, above all - will become meticulous to ask them on motives of adoption.It, perhaps, is unpleasant to
. Adoptive parents, as a matter of fact, should prove that they want to take the child in a family not for the sake of a minute whim and not from self-interest, and from serious and good motives. But people who thought up and carry out such procedure, too it is possible to understand. They are responsible for wellbeing of the child, and if adoption is unsuccessful, they will be guilty too. Here necessarily you will become the most scrupulous! Therefore it is better to be adjusted in advance, as at you, and at the checking lady the purpose actually general, you just go to it different ways.do not have
In the law any restrictions on the sum of the income and the area of housing. Only mental disorders, incapacity, drug addiction and alcoholism of the adoptive father - all that will objectively prevent to bring up the child are considered as unambiguous contraindications.
And still if it becomes clear that the family lives closely and poorly, the inspector will hardly consider intention to adopt the child realistic and worthy supports. Not easy it is necessary also to lonely women or men. Formally they are equal in the rights for adoption of children with married couples. But in practice not so - that it is simple to convince checking that to the child it will be good also in an incomplete family.the Field for disagreements especially is big
that the word have to tell the management of children`s home and relatives (grandmothers are aunts) the child. However, their opinion though is considered, but it is not considered decisive. And here if the child is more senior than 10 years does not want to go to a new family, adoption will definitely not be - it is impossible to impose to the person parents against will. But maybe so that the child just very much wants, but agencies of guardianship have absolutely other point of view. What then? The court has to resolve dispute. Legal proceedings of adoption were entered into the law recently. It extends not only on disputable cases - it is impossible to adopt the child bypassing court now at all. In it there is a certain reason: in this situation the look from outside will not prevent.
Nevertheless the new order had many opponents. Courts are overloaded now, and there were fears that adoptive parents should wait for the turn nearly for years. It appeared, worried in vain - judges usually treat such affairs with understanding and try to avoid red tape.
- Statement . It it is necessary to file a lawsuit at the place of residence of the child. Data on adoptive parents, on the child and his former parents are specified in this paper. Here it is necessary to enter requests for change of a surname, a name, a middle name or date of birth.
- Copy of the Marriage certficate . For lonely people this document will be replaced by the copy of their Birth certificate.
- Medical certificate about a state of health of adoptive parents .
- the Reference from work about a post and about the size of a salary or other document on the income.
- the Document confirming a right of use of premises or the property right to housing.
the aspiration of people to become parents to the baby Is clear to
. But healthy newborn babies whom mothers refuse directly in maternity hospital, less, than persons interested to adopt such child. For adoptive parents such news - not really good. But, to tell the truth, she can only be glad.
to Adopt the child is more senior it is possible without turn. And still it happens that people long wait for “the“ kid. For example, the family from a midland dreams to adopt the boy - the Yakut. That in local children`s homes it can really not appear. However this business reparable.
to Children and their future mothers and fathers the computer helps to meet now. In each of 89 Russian regions there is a databank about children - orphans, and 45 such banks are connected in the general network (the others too soon will be connected to it). Thanks to new technologies search of the child takes only five minutes now.
But the car the car is. It to work, needs formal signs: sex, age, color of eyes. Appearance, of course, matters. But love feeling irrational and to the machine analysis inaccessible. The director of one children`s home told about a married couple which had a firm intention to find the son. A year ago these people became happy parents of two little sisters. And this history as it is simple to guess, not an exception at all.
Thus, recommendation of the computer more likely reference point but as not the ready decision. And to choose of course, it is necessary heart.
Who will reveal this secret?Court session on which case of adoption is heard will be obligatory for
closed. All its participants will be warned about criminal liability for disclosure of secret of adoption in advance. To open this secret only newly made parents are free.If in a family the child is accepted by
though how many - nibud grown up, there is hardly a sense to do from this secret. And here when the baby is adopted, parents appear before very serious choice. Many purposefully give such child for blood: at first the woman of 9 months carries a pillow under clothes, then goes to the neighboring city that “to give rise at the familiar doctor“. The law allows to change the child not only a name, a surname and a middle name, but even date of birth within three months (requests such should be stated at once, in the judicial application).
But, despite all these tricks, the truth unexpectedly emerges. Shock from such news can happen even at the adult. And for the child news that darlings mother with the father - artificial, will be original accident. Especially, if he learns about it from strangers. There were even cases when from - for the felt shock the child could not remain more in a family any more and moved to children`s home. The secret of adoption is not going to be cancelled yet, but teachers (and ours, and foreign) now almost unanimously dissuade parents from its strict observance. Is what to think of.Today in Russia the number of orphans is comparable
to number of the valid orphans who remained after the Great Patriotic War...
Among a set of forms of contempt of children - orphans (guardianship, children`s villages - SOS, foster families...) adoption remains an optimum condition for emergence of a new family: the child carries a surname of parents, has the right for a living space, and its psychological and social formation corresponds to development of ordinary family children.
the adoption Subject long was closed in our country. And still people not always know where to obtain necessary information. Councils of people, incompetent in this question, often throw potential adoptive parents into confusion. The case when in the relevant organization the woman was dissuaded from adoption is known, having declared that all children from orphanage morons and she will suffer all life. Only in 8 years it decided to take the child, without listening to “kind“ councils, and is happy with the long-awaited kid now.
If you made the firm decision, first of all protect yourself from those who are negative to it, at least not to sadden the forthcoming meeting with receptions the little son or the daughter. Consult at the specialist of agencies of guardianship, the children`s psychologist, read books about education and psychology of children.by
In the West together with the family often raise adopted children from other countries. After war in Korea and Vietnam many Americans doing military service adopted thousands of Vietnamese and Korean orphans. In our country adoption process did not reach such scale yet. Specialists of agencies of guardianship and guardianship even note some decrease in number of adoptions. Besides the economic reasons and imperfection of the legislation, it must be kept in mind also the ambiguous relation of society to the families which took on education of the child. For this reason most of parents hide secret of adoption.And still a set of families are happy
with “foreign“ children...
Vick 49 years. It one brought up three daughters. Senior married and lives at the husband, younger (13 and 18 years) live with mother. The average daughter, doing practical training in the House of the baby, could not look without compassion at the babies who are alone lying in beds. She paid attention to one baby at once and became the initiator of adoption of one-year-old Lenochka. In a family all with pleasure supported this idea. So the baby whom in maternity hospital biological mother refused found the real mother and elder sisters. Before Vick`s adoption was afraid of a gossip of neighbors. Strained for it was also trial in the matter of adoption. The very young judge pressed what Vika earns insufficiently. “I will not be able to educate the girl abroad, but I for her am able to make all the rest“, - Vika answered.
At Nina P . in 32 years was already four children. Once they together went to have a rest. The woman with the three-year-old girl approached it and told: “Take it to yourself what to you the difference - one child is more, one have less“. Having come back home, Nina told about everything to the husband.“ Why you returned without child?“ - he asked. So little Olya got to new parents. The girl had a dystrophy, she could not even drink, she was tormented by hysterics, dreadful dreams, she was scratched, swore, and Nina was afraid that all this will negatively affect her children. Over time hysterics at Olya stopped, and even externally she began to resemble the family of Nininy children. The husband refused to issue guardianship over the girl: “Let`s adopt. This is my daughter, let carries my surname“. When Nina gave birth to two more children, Olya told:“ Mother, I will always be with you, I will help you to bring up kids“.Larisa was long treated by
for infertility, but could not become pregnant. With the husband they often visited friends who already got children. So gradually there was a question of adoption. The husband was two hands pro. Before choosing the child, Larisa decided to look at several children. But her heart stood when she saw the first baby it there was a girl - an otkaznitsa of 4 months from a sort. With the sick handle she was in hospital. Larisa named the girl Christina. They with the husband do not cease to admire the daughter. It is very beautiful, talented (she will be three years old soon). Larisa somehow admitted that she “could not give birth to such princess herself“.
A lot of things in formation of the identity of the adopted child depend on adoptive parents. Whether they will be able to love it how native whether they will forgive to complexity of teenage age? Whether will accept the child it what he is, or will change him on the ideal image and similarity? Adoption is not only courageous and kind act, but also very responsible step.