Bases of personal security for preschool children of
Children aged from three till five years live in the present; they are concentrated that “here and now“. Indistinct formulations of adults of type are not interesting to them “we will look“ or “can be, later“ because they - part of the abstract world of events which at all not necessarily will come. Owing to this fact preschool children are often impatient and are not capable to wait. It does not mean that they did not listen when you spoke to them about “later“. It simply means that now they are not capable of patient expectation of future events yet.
to Preschool children of this age extremely hard are given exceptions, and they are often confused by the general rules of type: “Do not talk to strangers“. Penelope Leitch, the specialist in children`s development, claims that the first problem of this rule in what we mean, ordering: “Do not talk!“ ? The second problem - whom we mean under “strangers“? Leitch says that kids of this age do not acquire sense of the general rule forbidding to them to speak with people whom they do not know at the simultaneous requirement “it is polite to speak with the bus driver, to speak thanks to the shopkeeper and to obey the new nurse“. And still: we order them not to talk to strangers, but they see how we do it daily! Leitch is convinced that children will be protected by the positive installations describing “that they have to do always and not that it is, as a rule, forbidden to them“. That is why instead of the order “not talk“ with strangers it is necessary to inspire in them clear rules of type:“ Always approach the adult sponsoring you before going somewhere with someone“. >
As it is very easy for p to deceive small children, our efforts on their training have to include the rule demanding from children constantly to be in full view of adults. At this stage freight of responsibility lies entirely on us. In my family this rule was rigidly established when the daughter was three years old. We asked it to report always to us about where it is, even going to a toilet. We clearly let it know that we always want to know where it or where is going to leave. It seemed to it reasonable as children of this age extremely are interested where there are you. Soon the “plan of travel“ declared by it became natural part of our talk. Later it transferred this rule to the teachers and nurses.
One more feature of development of kids consists that it is difficult for them to understand how it is the adult to whom they trust, can offend something them. They are sure that all adults sponsoring them care for them and wish well to them only.“ Just does not reach them that the people taken by them and their parents for friends can behave as enemies“, - Leitch says. Therefore we do not try to teach preschool children to estimates of borders of worthy behavior of adults. And we do not believe that they are prepared for preventing attack or violence. But we can teach them to speak “no“ to behavior easily clear to them - well, for example, to tell “no“ to “bad touches“ or the people wishing to take away them somewhere without the permission of parents. We give them simple rules and we limit their choice because it is available to their understanding and corresponds to features of their thinking.
the Most important advantage of kids and preschool children in training of personal security consists that they love rules. Actually they rely on rules. You noticed that when you forget or you slightly deviate the rule established for the child he reminds you of him and forces to follow him? Most of children adore acting by rules; especially they are pleasant to operate the friends on games by royal commands of type: “My mother told...“ I often noticed how preschool children remind of rules to the adult family, nurses and teachers. You can be sure: if rules of personal security along with other rules are stated by you clear, simple and quiet, without disturbing words, phrases - your children will surely conform to these rules.
Use aspiration of your child to logicality. The preschool child quickly notices when something breaks an established order of things. You need to strengthen this its aspiration. The son - the preschool child of one my friend often comes back home with the report on “non-standard“ events of school day. The boy speaks about the one who was absent or replaced the teacher, or about what the class had a bite on a playground, but not where usually. The father at the same time often notices:“ You are very sharp-witted!“ It is easy to imagine that this little boy will immediately tell the father if any adult behaves not as usually. Good observation abilities perfectly help children to notice unusual or suspicious behavior, and they should be encouraged for it.to
of Border of obedienceby
It seems that we always establish for our children some borders of obedience, trying to obtain that they did not leave them, and insisting that children always were on a look. On it there is a reason: kids and preschool children do not understand that for them it is safe and that is not present. Therefore our task - to tell them about it and to show. Establishing borders, we guarantee to our child physical health. This beginning of personal security.It is necessary for
that you played an active role in installation of borders to your child. Further he will be able to establish them for himself. But now you have to interfere and speak “yes“ or “no“. Also do not forget to train your child in accurate, clear information, for example: it is safe, and it - is not present.we Will call
all parts of a body
At three-year age children bodies can begin to call the parts and can acquire what of them are intimate. It is important skill. From preschool age we begin to teach them to the “unconscious“ language including words like names of genitals. We want that they could define and call all parts of the body without hesitating. It means that we have to teach to pronounce the words “penis“, “vagina“ as quietly as they would tell the words “elbow“, “nose“. Ourselves give them comfort level, and kids act a match for us, being trained in feelings of confusion or impudence independently.All kids have to be able to determine by
parts of the body in process of creation of the dictionary and the general development. Besides, there is one more reason for costs of your energy of training of kids in creation of “the dictionary of a body“: in case of harassment your child will manage to define precisely what parts of his body underwent violence. The child has to without hesitation manage to tell parents that “the person with the penis hanging outside walks there“ or that “someone tried to touch my vagina“.
If child was not trained in the corresponding words or inspired that certain parts of a body cannot be mentioned, then he can conceal the incident, and parents will not be able to help it.
In what a difference between “well“ and “badly“? > to help children it is better for h2 to understand
, it is allowed to whom to touch their intimate places, it is necessary to teach them to a difference between “good“ and “bad“ touches and to tell what they should do when they do not wish that they were touched. You remember, you build a basis in order that preschool children could tell “no“ to unworthy touches.
T. Berri Brazelton, the doctor of medical sciences, considers that three - four-year-old children need to inspire that their genitals - intimate part of their body. Help them to realize that if they do not want that adults touched them, they have to tell them it, and even loudly shout as required. You for certain will be able to teach the child to speak: “It is bad. Release me!“ or “Do not touch here - it is my intimate places!“
- to Embrace when it the child wants
- to be taken by hands
- gently to embrace the child for shoulders
- gently to kiss on a cheek before going to bed
- to Shake or take on hands of small children
- Embrace too strong and long
- the Uninvited kiss
- stop to Tickle the child after his request “!“
- of the Touch of the adult to intimate places
- When the adult forces the child to touch or kiss him
How to define the stranger
Here the best definition of the stranger to which you can teach the kid aged till five years: the stranger is the one whom we do not know. You hear how quietly and not trevozhashche it sounds? Your purpose, since a class, preparatory to school, - to teach the child to notice strangers. Generally training at this stage concerns distinction between a family, relatives, friends and strangers. Later you teach the child to distinguish acquaintances from friends. Each child needs to learn to do it, but only when he grows up. At this stage it is the most important to impart to your preschool child knowledge of that, “who is who“ in his Toy Store and to teach observation in relation to surrounding people.
the Child has to know information on himself
Is clear how it is important to train the preschool child in storing of the full name, the address and telephone number. As soon as he learns this information, help it “to learn by heart“ it properly. What for? Because cramming will help it to remember information in that case when it got to trouble. If someone asks his surname, the address or telephone number the child, then, even when he is upset or scared, he nevertheless will be able to remember them. Surely inspire in your child that the militiaman should not be afraid to tell the name, age, the address and telephone number, to the firefighter or the telephonist on the switchboard.
By the way if your child learned the identifying information, but it is too shy to tell it to someone except you, it means that for the present it cannot help the people wishing to help him out of trouble. From this you have to conclude that he very risks in case it is lost and therefore it is necessary to look attentively behind it, as well as for the children incapable to remember information on itself.to Call
911 and 0
I Remember, I was told about the parent training the small child to call according to number nine - eleven instead of nine - one - one (the Note: phone of service of rescue in the Russian Federation - 01). When they in the house had a fire, the boy could not cause the help because long looked for figure 11 on the telephone dial. Ask your preschool child to show you as he is able to dial number 911. Then talk to it about what it is possible to consider as a situation when the call to service of rescue is necessary. Of course, there is no full guarantee that your preschool child will be able to cause the help in a case of the real trouble, but you can increase chances of success, regularly practising with it.
to Interfere to protect
At this age children are very trustful. That is why you need to interfere and protect actively them in case of need from strangers. For kids till five years the best protection from the adult - to be near the child and to actively establish borders which he, perhaps, cannot define still.
Cheerful and tender preschool children, many of which look for embraces and kisses not very well from whom, are subject to bigger risk. For such children physical contact can be the main way of communication.
of Tender children needs to push to that they used also words. Teach them that word it is better than embraces and kisses. Also teach them that adults unfamiliar to them, for example waiters, sellers of shops or messengers, have to use words too, but not embrace them and kiss. At this stage you can establish the simple rule: physically can caress your child some the main people in his life.
In the beginning ask for permission
you said to your kids what they have to ask your permission before taking from someone candy? This the usual, established by parents rule, partly because they try to limit amount of the candies eaten by children. But anyway this rule is useful because it - a step to rules of personal security.
If you from the earliest age teach your children to ask permissions before taking from someone candy or a gift, they will be less vulnerable before the domogatel or tyrants who are actively applying this trick. Tell your child that without your permission he cannot accept entertainments or gifts from people out of your family circle. Of course, you can at desire make several exceptions in the rule, for example, for friends of the family.Any secrets from parents
to your child: “Adults should not ask children to keep something in secret“ and “It is not allowed to adult to say to the child what is with them or something bad if he does not agree to keep something in secret“ happens by their family. In some the cases, known on the press, domogatel with the purpose to force to be silent the young victims used threats like “to kill favourite rabbits or kittens on their eyes“ then they said to children that further there will come their turn if they do not keep secret. Tell your children that nobody dares to threaten them, and add:“ If any adult tries to force you to keep intimidation secret, immediately come to me“. the Main conclusions
you can teach