Together or separately? It is pleasant to fill up
near darling and to feel his heat. But it is much more convenient to sleep separately when nobody snores, it is not pushed and does not pull down a blanket. To sleep together or separately? And whether the separate dream harms the relations?
the Most common cause on which spouses decide to sleep separately, - usual snore. It not just causes irritation in the second spouse, but increases risk of development of a hypertension and atherosclerosis. One more unpleasant consequence of snore - decrease in a sexual inclination. According to the British scientists, snore negatively influences a libido in every fourth couple of respondents, and more than a half admitted that, remembering as the husband or the wife snores, they do not want to have sex. Researchers counted that the uneasy behavior of one of partners steals from the second on average 49 minutes of a dream every night. As a result the person deprived of good rest becomes nervous, badly works, quarrels more often, reduces sexual activity that leads to destructive consequences for marriage. Besides, the American scientists established that the spouse sleeping near the man negatively influences his brain. Irrespective of whether partners had sex or not, after night in one bed with the woman the male brain copes with the tests for attention, memory and calculations worse. It is interesting that similar indicators at women do not decrease.
Two in a bed
the Most known research on a joint and separate dream of spouses - the book of professor of sociology Paul Rosenblatt “Two in a bed. Social system of couples which sleep in one bed“. Professor came to a conclusion that the dream of spouses - not such simple business as it seemed earlier, and is the factors pushing people to a joint or separate dream. Yes, snore of the spouse or his uneasy behavior can irritate the second partner, however by estimates of National fund of a dream, 61% of Americans sleep together. Similar the Internet - polls among Russians show that about a half of our compatriots - supporters of a joint dream, about 40% want to sleep separately, and 10% were not defined yet. In Russia the problem is aggravated with the notorious “housing question“ which is not allowing our many compatriots to have two separate bedrooms.
Most of researchers in the area corporally - the focused psychology is claimed that after intimate proximity both the woman, and the man the partner`s touch is necessary. Contact of bodies removes stress which collected in a day, gives feeling of comfort and proximity. And many psychoanalysts consider that refusal of one of spouses to sleep together is a reflection of subconscious decrease in erotic thirst for the partner. On the other hand, a joint bed - the place not only for sex, but also friendly chats. For example, Paul Rosenblatt asked people why they prefer to sleep together, despite obvious inconveniences. And as the main reason most often called proximity and psychological comfort. The scientist writes:“ Most of respondents claimed that the bed is a place where they talk. Here it is possible to stay together, to forget about the distracting moments and distinctions of interests which divided them during the day. Besides, late night in itself there is something that allows them to open and communicate“.A little history At most of the people the house was divided
into man`s and female half. At Egyptians the husband invited the wife to himself, at Greeks and ancient Romans, on the contrary, the man came to the wife. In Russia noblemen and boyars divided the house into man`s and female half. Separate bedrooms for the husband and the wife are widespread in well-founded families in Europe and now. If it occurs at French often, then at Spaniards and Germans is much more rare. It is possible to tell that in many countries - Germany, Italy, Spain and the countries of Latin America - the general matrimonial bed was obligatory. And in Sweden and Finland spouses quite often sleep in one room, but in different beds. In Japan and China sex and a dream are divorced on time of day: in families with traditional life of the spouse meet for love joys in the afternoon, and at night everyone sleeps on the stove bench (tatami).
it would Seem to
, joint stay of spouses in a bed is more preferable separate, however many spouses all - prefer to sleep on different beds. The reasons are various: for example, the partner snores, turns from sleeplessness, kicks in a dream, suffers from nightmares, often gets up in a toilet, makes attacks on the refrigerator, at spouses the schedule of work does not coincide or they cannot agree upon an occasion of optimum room temperature. Some experts consider that separate beds will strengthen any family and will make marriage long and happy. In their opinion, the full-fledged continuous dream within 7 - 8 hours which spouses often lose from - for a dream in a joint bed is necessary for the adult. On the other hand, sexologists recommend a separate dream as the means supporting love and a sexual inclination of spouses after several years of joint life. They recommend to sleep five days a week separately to save up sexual desire and to discharge it during the week-end. However psychologists recognize that there are also dangers. The separate dream can lead to a distance of partners from each other and instead of strengthening to destroy marriage.
views concerning a dream are influenced by a sex, age and national peculiarities of people. For example, men and women differently treat a problem of a separate dream. Most often reasonings I will set approximately such in motion: “If this man has no desire to sleep with me, so there is no desire also with me to live“. And at men the different view prevails:“ The full-fledged dream is very important. It gives me the chance intensively and fruitfully to work in the afternoon. I will sleep less - I will earn less“. If to address the genetic programs put by the nature in people, then it will turn out that at the biological level the woman needs the constant supporter, the father of the child who will be always near by, and the man after sex with the woman wants other sex with other woman, so, the unsoluble problem turns out... But life is always richer than rules - in it also the women adoring a dream alone and the men who are not imagining nights without beloved meet.
As for age (or an experience of matrimonial life), couples with very small experience (1 - 2 years), or aged people prefer to sleep together or. To young spouses at whom the mutual attraction is still very big and the dream by youth is strong, it is pleasant to sleep in common more. Then, at a matrimonial experience of 5 - 7 years, the desire to separate from the spouse increases, and couples with an experience of 15 - 25 years cannot live without each other any more. Besides, to elderly people to sleep together more safely, especially in the presence of chronic diseases.As it is better than
of the General answer which would be ideally suited for all does not exist. It depends on living conditions, temperament, character, readiness to adapt to each other. All people different: at someone sound sleep, and at someone sensitive. Therefore it is very important to analyze the feelings accompanying ritual of a dream and to openly share them with the partner. If you sleep together, then the frequency of sex can increase, but feelings slightly will fade. If you separately sleep, sex will be more rare, but is brighter. What option will suit you, to solve to each married couple. The main thing - be not afraid to experiment and try different options. One of them for certain will be for you optimum. The only thing that can be told precisely, - in a bed you should not sort out the relations and to swear that negative reflexes were not fixed. The bed is intended for a dream, rest and sex, and in what proportions you will use it, to solve to you.
In what pose you sleep?
Psychologists see in it communication with the relations.
- of the Spoon you sleep on one side, and one of partners embraces another. Such pose speaks about the close and passionate relations. Usually the man embraces the woman. And if on the contrary, then the woman acts as the leader. the Touch Everyone chooses by
- comfortable situation, but at the same time you touchingly adjoin hands or legs. So you emphasize emotional proximity, but give each other certain freedom. Prosecution Such situation most often tells
- about difficulties. For example, after quarrel one of spouses turns a back and is removed, and another embraces him, trying to calm and return to itself.
- the Royal Position One of partners (the man is more often) sleeps on a back - it speaks about a strong ego. The head of the woman lies on the spouse`s shoulder - it means that she is inclined to adapt to the husband in a dream and during wakefulness.
- of Embrace of Legs In a dream you cross legs or one of spouses throws a leg on another? Perhaps, passions already ceased, but rest and trust reign in your family.
- the Honeymoon you sleep face to face, huging each other? Such pose meets most less often as it is not too convenient to support it. If you sleep so, then the relations the closest.
- Together and separately you sleep, without adjoining? Sometimes spouses have a need for a privacy, for it there is nothing disturbing. In such pose everyone - feels comfortable.