Rus Articles Journal

Child and divorce of

  • 4. 2. 2000 1:7:4, Natasha Share
    , please, mummies with children who endured divorce. How it can be reflected in the child? It will be how heavy right after it? Where to take forces? Etc. and. other
    • of 16. 2. 2000 15:41:7, Sunny
      When to my son was 6 years, he asked me: “Mothers, and why people get divorced?“ I speak: “When they ceased to love each other“. “And you with the father will be gets divorced?“ I very much worried for its reaction, but answered honestly: “Yes, I want to divorce him. And you as will treat it?“. He wrinkled a forehead, thought and answered: “Well also get divorced, it bad, will be together better for us“. It is true, we with the father were not lucky and the child does not regret at all that he with us does not live now and does not tear nerves. After divorce it somehow sposit me: “Mothers, and you will marry some man?“ And I to it it is so cheerful:“ And if the uncle quite good gets, then why would be not present!“ And he also speaks: “And let`s choose together“. Ridiculously, of course, but I understood that the child in principle not against emergence in the house of “the good man“. When in a year I got acquainted with really good and decent person, in a week he (the man i.e.) began to insist on a meeting with my son. Got on at once. We live the second year together and the son worships it. And here with the girl, I think, it would be more difficult, they are closer to mother and the jealousy is shown more sharply, we react by the principle “we are women, it is better for us without any there men“, especially if the father indeed (as in my case) not from safe. But in general I consider that the child has to understand at once (with our help) that mother after divorce is going to continue to live further and, on - opportunities, happily.
    • 7. 2. 2000 19:1:51, ket Will be very heavy
      . I, for example, did not want to live because: 1) I married on big love, 2) having even filed for divorce, very much still loved it, 3) I am a person who can forgive all even to the rascal. But! The attitude towards the daughter - that last straw after which I did not sustain any more. You due to think over as you will live without it with the material and moral point of view. If he is a decent person and just you do not love each other so strongly any more that you decided to leave, from a material aspect it will be easier for you since he will not throw the child, from moral - it is more difficult since. You will be forced to communicate constantly with it and will depend on it. If he is a rascal (my option), will enough not give money, in general will delete you from the life, it will be easier morally as you quicker smozhy to separate from the past and to begin to work independently. You have a difficult case, but if such decision ripened, I very much would like to help you, write, ask questions. I gave on the alimony, to search, we receive pension from the state etc. now, i.e. I passed through our court and I have necessary reference points. As for the main thing - the child: if you consider that it WILL be SO BETTER FOR YOU AND FOR IT, GET DIVORCED. BUT IF there are SMALL DOUBTS AND the HUSBAND DOES NOT WANT to THROW YOU, HUNDREDS of TIMES THINK AND CONSULT TO HUNDRED PEOPLE. I was sorry, honestly I will tell you though I had a boundary case. Sometimes the despair attacks, but after 4 years everything settled down (but pain forever, understand).
    • 7. 2. 2000 20:32:35, Lena Me everything that wrote Ket is very close to
      , completely with it it agrees. I will add only that in my case “there would be no happiness and the misfortune helped“, after divorce I married the remarkable person, with it I am happier, than would be in first marriage. But here the son everything is lost the father and new did not get. The ex-husband was a quite good father, but could not remain him (too seldom appeared), and the present husband could not replace him for many reasons, from it not dependent. So think also of it. Not all can it is lost and it is possible to keep a family?
    • 5. 2. 2000 17:56:55, Funtik
      Natasha when I got divorced from the husband, to our son was three and a half years old (well, maybe, slightly more). The most important - to tell it the truth. And to convince the child that personally he is not guilty of anything. In all psychological books about it it is written - children usually consider themselves guilty... I told the son that we with the father cannot live together any more, but it does not mean that the father does not love him. And I, and the father - very much we love you, just together to us it is very heavy - we do not love each other. Though, our son could and not explain it - he saw scandals and quarrels... Not to interfere with meetings with the father if the father there is a wish to meet, not to speak about the father badly - it is common truths. Besides - personally I prepared for divorce with the psychologist. He to me very much helped to make and understand some things. If the budget - best of all to begin with visits of the psychologist allows.
    • 13. 3. 2000 15:41:7, Alexey Somehow nobody writes
      about what the father feels as usual all muzhikisvoloch... me the wife found
      U another, naturally the child remained with it. And here the five-year-old daughter asks me:
      - the Father and why you with us do not live any more?
      I what you will order to answer it? Well and of course all delights of “the Sunday father“ when an opportunity to see the child depends on an arrangement of stars, a phase monthly, the relations of the former spouse with her elect. At the same time the child suffers, any, and all - the father I from it, and the fact that the relations at it are sorted out does not add it peace of mind. Begins to be nervous from - for the fact that at parents different requirements to it, from what is constant in tension - that can be said that it is impossible. The little girl became isolated, there were nervous, eyes as at the little old woman.