Rus Articles Journal

Teenager: how to become closer to it?

When the child become the teenager, it would be less desirable for it to converse with parents in an open and frank manner or to listen to tendernesses. But whether it means that the care is not necessary to it any more?

few years ago you ran home from work to manage to feed the child, to play with it, to talk, check lessons and to put to bed. Now nothing similar is required: your child eats itself and only when wishes. Does not take out when you “climb in his life“, carries out the most part of evening on the Internet and goes to sleep without your help. Your care is not necessary to it any more, and tenderness irritates. Whether it means what it is time to step aside?

- psychologists consider By no means, it is just necessary to find new ways of communication. To the teenager, also as well as to the small child, it is necessary to feel care and attention of parents. And the awkward age is the most right moment to begin forming of other, adult relations. They will become a basis for communication in the future when your kid grows up and will be independent.

you Spend time together

Happens that teenagers and parents cannot carry out together and 15 minutes without to quarreling. Cinema, the Internet, games, friends - all this is more important than you and it is much more interesting. And it means that it is necessary to look for the moments for communication.

you Tell

in operating time. You hardly persuade 15 - the summer daughter to carry out a silent family dinner to the companies of parents - to her not interesting to discuss adult problems and when you try to learn something about her own life, she perceives it in bayonets. But try to talk to the daughter when you make a dinner. Ask it to help to cut, for example, vegetables for salad or to make a stuffing for pie. When it seems that the main task is a cooking, and conversation - entertainment is simple, it will be much simpler to teenager to speak with you frankly. In the same way the boy will get to talking with the father during fishing rather, digging in garage or repairing something on the house.

According to polls of 85% of seniors is recognized that need communication with adults, and 66% from them as the desirablest partners in communication call parents.
Pay attention!
How to help the child to cope with a depression?
If the child is in a dejectedness long time, it has problems with study, in the relations with a family and friends. There is a depression which changes nature of his behavior and health. The main reason for a depression psychologists call full indifference of parents and other adults in teenage problems, family difficulties (most often problems of parents - divorce). If a depression not to treat, the situation can worsen and will interfere with the child to receive a maximum from life. There are two types of a teenage depression:
  1. Actually the grief called by the main depression.
  2. the Maniacal depression when the sharp desire of vigorous activity and commission of daredevil acts comes to change of feeling of frustration and apathy.
If some of these signs big changes in its everyday life cause, it is necessary to address the psychologist.
Remember that the deep depression at this age is most dangerous as it is the main reason for the majority of teenage suicides.
you Tell

with the child

Those questions which we usually ask the teenager, most often do not cause anything, except irritation and desire to be protected. And anew to come into contact with own child, you should show the imagination.

do not ask 7 “NOT“ about which each parent needs to know
  1. do not ask

    infinite questions, otherwise the child will feel the suspect.

  2. do not sing along with songs to which the teenager, especially in the presence of his friends listens.
  3. do not imitate the child and do not show sarcasm.
  4. you do not tell
  5. when it is possible to listen.
  6. do not leave to
  7. the teenager without support when it is difficult for it.
  8. do not delete the teenager`s friends from plans for the weekend even if you very much just want to stay in the bosom of the family.
  9. do not use phone and the computer to spy on the child and to find out secrets which he is not ready to share.