Whether Rhoda without fear and reproach of
childbirth without fear and pain Is possible in general? Why one give birth easily, and others do not cope with pain? How to find the correct spirit on childbirth? These and other questions are often asked by women on my consultations and group occupations. The reflections on childbirth, and also I provide answers to these and other questions of future women in labor in article.
It is all about a spirit!
success of childbirth is influenced by installations. The matter is that the woman`s relation to childbirth is formed during all her life. She since the childhood hears talk on this concerning event. It can be stories about tortures or about a holiday, long-awaited pleasure, test or sacrament. Women tell a miscellaneous about childbirth. But it is more often than the narration about sufferings...
Why women are inclined to share negative impressions about childbirth? In - the first, in society there is a stereotype according to which the woman has to give birth tormently. Respectively, if you gave rise without tortures and sufferings, then, it seems, did not “earn“, did not deserve the child...
Other reason, perhaps, lies in female essence. The matter is that demonstrativeness as line of the personality, is inherent in most of women. It is shown in what to the woman the attention of other people is vital to receive. The woman is inclined to tell about the experiences repeatedly publicly. Respectively, narrations about significant events have to be dramatic and concerning, to cause compassion and sympathy. Especially childbirth! Here it is possible not to stint in descriptions of own sufferings and experiences!
A with what feelings the woman who was not giving birth listens to these narrations? The mechanism of psychological infection turns on, and... emotions, feelings, installations of other woman become its own.
I one more nuance is. People to tell more slopes about bad, than about good. We complain more often, than we report about progress and achievements, victories and an easy tide of life. At least, complaining and trying on on itself a role of the victim, it is possible to count on sympathy.
Here are also allocated by the giving birth women not giving birth negative scenarios, spirits and feelings.
What installations positively influence the course of childbirth?I will call
Ya several positive installations:
Childbirth is a work.
Childbirth is a pleasure.
Childbirth is a test.
Childbirth is a creativity.
we Will reflect on these installations...
Childbirth is a work. Try to think of childbirth as about work. Special, specific, not so similar to that which you make houses or at office.
B than it consists? How to work at the time of delivery?to you serious internal work on preservation of feeling of self-control is necessary to
at the beginning of patrimonial activity. It will be necessary to keep contact with the child, to feel, understand and accept and to calm him.
If you begin to worry, panic, your child will be in the same state. The matter is that stress hormones which are thrown out the woman`s blood influence also the child, getting into his organism through a placentary barrier.
will need to make an effort to give birth to the child. And then, to accept, putting it to a breast and spreading on a stomach, embracing, talking and caressing it. And it is your work. You can make it well or badly, but for you nobody will make it! So make it well!
Difficult and very important work will consist also in accepting pain and discomfort, to agree with it. To suffer quietly, understanding all deep meaning of this pain. It will be important to agree with the fact that within several hours to you it will be very difficult.
I as in any work, it is important to calculate forces here.
Childbirth is a marathon. Running on a long distance. As well as a marathon, in labor right at the beginning - low speed. The main task - to protect forces. And at the end of a distance it will be necessary to do responsible, decisive breakthrough - to make an effort. And how it can be made if all forces were lost on start, at the beginning of a way? If they are dissipated vanity, a showdown, a panic state, hysterics, shout?.
to Shout or not to shout? One more question which sets women. More precisely, the moment of decision-making can not arise as practically all have a conviction that the woman has to shout at the time of delivery. This stereotype develops “thanks to“ stories of the giving birth women, classical literature and movies. They influence to such an extent that the independent, critical choice at the woman does not arise.
Please, shout if you derive pleasure from own shout and thus you “are loaded“. But shout exhausts forces.Working as
with aggressive clients who practice a beating of relatives, without knowing where to splash out energy, I sometimes advise to be closed in the car and to shout minutes five if it turns out - ten, and to watch own state. Usually after that passes “actions“ not only desire to break, but also in general, there pass any desires, except need for rest. I gave this example not casually. The woman in labor, spending energy for shout, by the end of a marathon risks to remain flat-out. And it is so important to calculate correctly forces and not to spend them vainly!
Childbirth is a test. It is understood that at the time of delivery the woman faces pain and discomfort. It is important to be prepared for these tests. How it can be made?
For a start needs to be understood and accepted that patrimonial pain is not senseless. She, unlike other types of pain signaling about trouble and malfunctions, failures in work of bodies and systems of an organism and injuries is urged to pay attention that there is very important event. This pain demonstrates the titanic work of a uterus and other bodies which are carrying out the child`s birth. Besides, painful experiences are significant for the woman. During joint experiences mother approaches, becomes related with the child psychologically even more. Cases when during childbirth entered anesthetic an animal (a she-bear, the elk cow) are described. After this intervention of a female did not recognize the cubs. Interesting supervision. Is what to think of...
I here on what should reflect: what for sense in this test? One my good acquaintance is a gynecologist with an impressive experience once introduced the deep and wise thought which sank down to me in soul:“ Childbirth is a test for the woman`s maturity“. Having a little reflected on this subject, I agreed with it.
the feeling that here the nature it is squeezed Is, it is capacious and concentrated explains to the woman that such motherhood. Many parallels can be found.
At the time of delivery the woman faces irreversibility: you cannot stop process of the birth any more. Also will be with motherhood: it is irreversible. Mother you become for the rest of life.
I in motherhood and in labor not everything depends on desire: you want - you do not want to give birth today (can, plans were, or date not suitable, or circumstances not those?) process is started without the woman`s consent. Again parallels. Young mothers within the first year of life of the child well understand as far as they become dependent on the child. And the baby is a little concerned by plans of mother, a state of health or desires (for example, to have a sleep). It should eat, play, walk or in general just there is a wish to be on handles at mother!
I in labor, and in motherhood to the woman it is necessary to stock up with a huge portion of patience and force!
But strangely enough, sometimes expectations of severe pain do a good deed. It is about those cases when the woman, having had heard plenty of stories about intolerable sufferings, expects great tortures. She suffers from pain, knowing that there will be more serious tests. And here the midwife says to it that it is already time to make an effort. And the woman ready to very serious tests is in perplexity: “How, all this?“
Have a patience stock! it was not as if bad to you, wonder:“ And if it is even more sick, I will be able to sustain?“ And surely find an opportunity to answer themselves: “Yes“. Always have an additional reserve of patience. At the most painful fight know what can be even more sick.by
Here to me remembers the children`s tale of a zaychishka who was frightened in the winter. And so intimidated that severe frosts came, and the hare thinks: “No, it is not winter, it will be absolutely cold in the winter“. Here sweep severe snowstorms, and the hare thinks again: “It still anything... Here the winter will come...“. And here the thaw, streams ran, the sun warms, and all animals shout: “Spring, spring!“ And the zaychishka in perplexity asks: “So where that fierce and most terrible winter?“ Here and our women ready to serious tests in perplexity ask: “Already to give birth? All this?“
Childbirth is a creativity! It is unexpected? But at this moment you will be able to show the creativity because during fights you will need to occupy with something yourself. To occupy both a body, and thoughts. Also it will be necessary to find unlimited quantity of ways to switch attention to endure fights. And that is very important - all technicians, receptions, ideas on work with pain it is necessary, experimenting, to use at the most desperate moment. When the imagination and patience are on a limit.
But we will talk about it a little later.
Childbirth is a pleasure. This installation helps to give rise safely. Find forces to be glad to this remarkable event - birthday of your child, new person. I can help you with it.
Perhaps, you will be warmed by thought that you are hit in hands of the successor soon. This pleasant event is allowed to test not all. Much only once. Men in general by definition cannot give birth to the child. At women the childbearing age is limited.I work as
By the nature of the activity with the women passing treatment for infertility. They are ready to pay any money, to pass repeated medical examinations, not painless procedures, to go for operations if only they were granted happiness - to conceive, take out and give birth to the child. That happiness which you have. Appreciate it! Presently to conceive, take out and give birth to the child is a great luck!
you will have unforgettable feelings of pleasure, delight because Soon that you put to a breast of the kid, because, as he watches at you, because, as it is similar to you or your relatives.
At the time of delivery you get experience, new to you. You learn what was not known and did not test earlier.
U you. In motherhood you will be able to be realized as the teacher and to teach the child to everything that you are able. And to test pleasure how your kid makes the first discoveries, develops, grows. Is for the sake of what to live!
Master the fears! About communication of fear and pain wrote many articles and researches. The fear of pain destroys harmony of relationship in structures of a brain, sharply reduces a pain threshold therefore the woman perceives those painful incentives which normal should not get into consciousness. There is a so-called psychogenic component of patrimonial pains. And than more the woman is afraid, especially she feels intensive pain. Pain and fear mutually strengthen each other.
Why fears appear?
we Will consider two reasons concerning childbirth.
the First reason - accumulation of negative information.We already said
that quite often giving birth women, telling about childbirth, in fact share the negative scenarios, experience of unresolved problems. These scenarios are appropriated by not giving birth woman, and further are realized by her in the course of patrimonial activity.
In the practice I rather often deal with the clients having negative scenarios and fears. Guess who is afraid more and, as a result, gives birth heavier? Strangely enough, it is doctors! It is not difficult to understand why. Know much. They, owing to features of the activity, even since training at medical institute, face various options of an unsuccessful course of patrimonial activity, complications, consequences which affect negative influence on lives and health of the child. Yes, they obtain information on pathology and that is not taught to do with it (and, the main thing, with the emotions, feelings, fears) in medical academy, unfortunately.Replace with
scenarios! your task consists in that being exempted from scenarios of others negative experience! You can erase it as drawing on paper erases an eraser. Or in detail to describe and burn. Or firmly to separate the thoughts and feelings from thoughts, feelings and experience of other woman. “It is it, and I am I“. “I have the life, the experience and the childbirth. I another“. Create own scenario of successful, comfortable childbirth, representing safe process of childbirth - all actions, feelings, emotions.“ Scroll“ this movie several times.
Other reason of emergence of fears consists in lack of knowledge of the normal or positive course of childbirth. Unfortunately, even presently the woman quite often goes for childbirth absolutely unprepared, without knowing anything about how they proceed and as to work with her.
the Nature cares to the woman at the time of delivery. It well programmed all process of childbirth. The main thing, understand it. Be adjusted on it.the Nature trains for
the woman for perception of pain. Pain will not be given you suddenly. You will have time to be prepared.to
to you it will not be given pain more, than you are ready to take out. Force of pain of each separate fight and in dynamics of all childbirth will gradually increase.
the Nature cares for the woman also the fact that protective mechanisms of mentality at the time of delivery turn on. Their appointment - to preserve consciousness of the woman in labor against shocks. Let`s call some of them.
Depersonalization. the woman has a feeling that everything happens not to it, and to someone another.
of Derealization. the feeling that events are not real Arises, and the real childbirth takes place in other, special, perhaps, more solemn situation. And now, for example, rehearsal which can end.the Woman can “be lost by
in time“ with feeling that she gives birth already eternity, or opposite that there passed only a few minutes.
I one more important fact of care of the woman in labor. Right after appearance of the child there is a powerful hormonal emission. Pain is very quickly forgotten. There are new forces and big activity. The nature - the great director! Only trust in it, understand it. Childbirth is a natural process!As can work as
with pain, keeping self-control?
the Most known technology of work with pain - switching of attention. According to this reception it is important to concentrate the attention not on discomfortable experiences, and on more pleasant and resource (creating positive health, activity, mood) occupation. For this purpose it is necessary to find not less than two tens occupations which you could organize houses, on the way to maternity hospital and maternity hospital where opportunities to be realized will be limited. It is impossible to foresee what of the offered occupations “will lay down on your soul“, just it is important to have an idea of in what it is possible to be engaged.
- Take a shower. Fine occupation for a latent phase. You can wash standing or sitting on the stool covered with a sheet. Use skins, gels, srubs, lotions and masks. Derive pleasure from this magnificent procedure. Then be dried by the hair dryer. On it at you several minutes will leave. And every minute spent in a comfortable state is important for us.
- Massage and self-massage. On special courses you can get acquainted both with methods of massage, and with anesthesia points. At the time of delivery you can ask the husband or close people about massage.
- Movement. Experience shows that the prone position during fights, as a rule, does not alleviate suffering. If there are no medical contraindications, the courseto ita along a corridor, chamber, on a ladder. Thereby you help the child to move ahead on patrimonial ways. Use the equipment of modern maternity hospitals available to you - balls - fitballs and rocking-chairs.
- Look for that position of a body which to you is the most comfortable, in which fight is less notable. And what ridiculous this provision would not seem to you, adopt it, despite of conventions.
- Talk. The person who can “occupy your head“ will be useful to you. Look for the active and interesting interlocutor - and time will pass imperceptibly.
- Conversation and correspondence by phone. One my client business - the lady told about how she very quickly passed away time of fights, submitting the cases in the firm, distributing valuable instructions.
- Telephone and computer games.
- Drawings, coloring, drawing up collages, guessing of crossword puzzles.
- Knitting and embroidery, under a condition if it tightens you.
- Reading the book (if it interesting, and you like to esteem).
- Viewing of the movie, favourite series, transfer. Proslushaniye`s
- of music. Stock up with disks - it can be relaxation compositions, classics, “Bug - vug“ or other music. by
- If you houses, make household chores - make a lunch or make cleaning. to
- If so it happened that you are in prenatal chamber not one, find an opportunity to help your neigbour: bring a glass of water, make by it massage etc. Psychologists have a good recommendation:“ If to you it is bad - find the person to whom it is even worse, and begin to help him“.
- Say prayers.
- Consider photos and magazines. Sing
- . Singing calms and weakens. And if you worry that the medical staff will think of you. Ask the doctor: what it is better - to shout or sing.
- Talk to the kid. Now it is very difficult for it. All he got used to, begins to change sharply. And the uterus - a lodge presses out it from all directions and directs to an exit. Ahead - uncertainty... So support him! Also ask it about the help. You can tell it:“ Leave, native, be not afraid. I will manage to relax and let out you. You will be born easily and freely“. Stroke a stomach, communicate with the child and verbally and corporally. It needs so it! Present to
- the kid in several years. What it will be when grows up. What you want to see it? Dreams come true!
- Relax between fights, you find any opportunity for rest and relaxation. Present to
- images. Pictures about travel to mountains, a sea surf or flight in heaven over the field of dandelions. Present the future, remember pleasant pictures from the past. Experts say that at the time of delivery it is useful to represent the blossoming flowers and the revealing doors and windows. These images give a signal to a uterus on disclosure of a pharynx. Work as
- with the breath. Master technology of breath - and you give rise easily.
- Use technology of visualization of pain. For its application it is important to satisfy two conditions: to resort to the imagination and to believe that this equipment will help you. So, present the pain. What it is similar to? What it colors? What its size, consistence, density? How pain when decreases is transformed?
In this equipment is important to trust in the imagination and to represent. The more original image will be presented by you, the better.
It can be visualization of a sphere which changes in color, the size or density, is blown off or breaks up; images of an animal or plant. Any live or lifeless subject can become in your way. Work with it. During tension of a uterus present it most brightly, fully, noticeably. When pain falls down - present how it changes in color, the size or density. Make several good exhalations during which present how your image of pain is transformed, changes. Leaves.
- Accept pain. The matter is that if we will think of pain as about something bad, dangerous and terrible, it also will make on us negative impact. Try to be developed in the relation to pain by 180 degrees. Fall in love with it. Thank her for the fact that you have it. Think that the feelings given you during fights are your feelings. They say that your uterus, your organism works. Titanic work of a uterus serves the birth of your kid. The nature of your pain consists not in signaling damage of an organism, on the contrary, this pain - a signal that life changes. And your child will be born soon. Therefore be glad pains. Thank her. Make friends with it. Stay with it some time, without protesting and without being indignant against it. It - yours. It - for you. With it it is not necessary to cope with it it is necessary just to live some time. > >
Try to answer with ol with li a question:“ What share of responsibility for childbirth I am ready to undertake? “If“ the responsibility percent“ makes from sixty to hundred percent, then it is an indicator that you were well prepared for childbirth. Choosing or not choosing the doctor, working or not working with a body, breath, fears you are responsible for a current and result of the childbirth. And this work for you nobody will make!