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Fifteen steps to self-confidence of

Shyness, shyness and uncertainty in themselves were never tested only by 7% of percent of Americans. Data of the large-scale survey conducted by Philip Zimbardo and colleagues - psychologists are that. You think, in Russia it is more self-assured people? By no means.

Philip Zimbardo

- the living classic, professor of psychology of Stanford University. The author “Stenfordsky of prison experiment“ in which students of college were divided into jailers and prisoners and they had to win back within several days the roles in the cellar of faculty of psychology. How the behavior of people changed, the movie “Das Experiment“ was shot (the director - Oliver Hirschbiegel). Also Zimbardo dealt with issues of social influence and psychology of shyness. About what it is possible to read books almost of the same name:“ Shyness “and“ social influence“.

In spite of the fact that uncertainty in itself is widespread in different cultural groups and Wednesdays unequally, the constant percent suffering from the uncertainty hesitates from 40 to 60. This phenomenon universal and widespread: the main conclusion of research was it. The received figures so struck Philip Zimbardo that he was engaged in studying of shyness and uncertainty in himself - and developed approach which in practice helps people to believe in itself(himself). Here fifteen advice which he gives.

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  1. Make the list strong and weaknesses. According to it formulate the vital purposes.
  2. Formulate

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  3. that is valuable to you what you trust in. Weigh the opportunities and solve what you would like to see yourself. Carry out inventory of the vital scenarios: try to make so that these scenarios did not press on you (“it is necessary to be such“, “it is necessary to achieve by all means it“), and helped you to live.
  4. Define

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  5. that is a basis of your personality. Analyse the past and try to understand what events and decisions forced you to live exactly as you live now. Try to understand and forgive those who offended you and did not help when you needed it, forgive yourself mistakes, failures and fluctuations. All negative memoirs it is worth burying - but only after you draw from them useful information. Make room for memories of former progress, let and small.


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  7. Sense of guilt and shame will not help you to achieve success. Do not dare to indulge of


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  9. Connect the behavior with physical conditions, social, economic or political circumstances, but not with shortcomings of own personality.


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  11. the Real situation - no more than result of the agreement between people to call the phenomena and objects certain names. Such look will allow you to concern more tolerantly to people and it is more generous to take down what can seem humiliation.
  12. Never you tell

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  13. about yourself badly; and especially do not attribute yourself negative lines:“ silly“, “ugly“, “incapable“, “unlucky“, “incorrigible“.


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  15. your actions can cause any assessment, but do not allow anybody to criticize you as the personality.


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  17. Sometimes, that people waste incredible efforts to incorrectly chosen purposes. But failure (more precisely - in time the received vital lesson) sometimes allows to avoid to us much bigger disappointments.
  18. you are not reconciled by

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  19. with people, occupations and circumstances which cause in you feeling of own inferiority. If you do not manage to change them or yourself so to feel confident, better just to turn away. Life is too short to spend it for despondency.


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  21. Dare to relax, listen to the thoughts, to be engaged alone in the fact that to you to liking. So you will be able to understand better than.


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  23. Practice communication. Enjoy feeling of that energy which people exchange. Imagine, as they can feel fear and uncertainty, and try to help them. Solve what you want from them and that you can give them. And then let them know that you are open for such exchange.


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  25. Stop to protect constantly the “I“: it is much stronger and more plastic, than it seems to you. It bends, but does not break. Let better it will have short-term emotional blow, than will stay in inaction and in emotional dullness.
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  27. Choose for yourself several serious remote purposes which can be reached by consecutive performance of absolutely specific objectives. Do not disregard each successful step and do not forget to encourage and praise yourself. Be not afraid to be immodest, nobody will hear you.


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  29. Remember that you - not passive object on whom troubles pour. You not a grasshopper in a grass who is forced to jump up that did not step on him. You are capable to exert direct impact on events. You can change all course of your life if you want it. If you are sure of yourself, then disorders will turn back the challenges which are thrown down to you by life, and calls - victories.