At the new level... Intimate relations after the delivery of
the Kid was born, there pass several weeks - and young parents remember that they not only mother and the father, but also the loving spouses. But sometimes there is an alarm: how there will take place renewal of the sexual relations and whether they will give partners the same joy, as before?
When to begin?
Pregnancy often is followed by some urezheniye of intimate relations, and even their total absence. The reasons are different: the woman has that toxicosis or threat of interruption, the husband has a feeling that someone spies upon it from within, or fear to damage to future mother and future successor. Quite often abstention is recommended by doctors, sometimes mother insists on it.
After the delivery to a family again will be forbidden by the love relations for 6 weeks - so far in an organism of the woman all processes of the postnatal period will not end, including - the uterus, a uterus neck will be reduced, postnatal allocations will stop. Otherwise the risk of an inflammation is high.So the term of abstention can be long
, and its fruits - are not clear. The national rumor attributes to childbirth miracle properties: if before an orgasm was not, then after the delivery - directly at once and forever. For many women it is right, but not in the very first time at all, and a bit later - in practice the kid in the house creates a situation of continuous bustle, sleepless nights and disorders. The husband is abandoned, time is not enough even for manicure, not to mention full and appropriate care of itself - here and sex - that is rare, and an orgasm at all an exception. Not to fall asleep during love...
I what - to wait when the kid gets on feet? Or when will go to school? Whether hopelessly to love each other near a crib?
Of course, on all one advice is not given, but the general rule for those who want to return to intim as soon as possible and as it is possible more pleasantly, simple - do not wait for the best conditions. The future is always drawn with fantastic opportunities, but to live in expectation, without living now, - a fatal mistake. Therefore intimate relations need to be restored even against a sleep debt, load, children`s stir with a row. Otherwise every day abstention will become is more habitual, the spouse will be perceived more and more as a sexless being, and own desires will go to such underground that it will be hard to find them there.
What will change?should be adjusted by
At once on the fact that a lot of things will be absolutely new, unusual (or well forgotten). Genitals changed under the influence of passing of a head a little, sensitivity of habitual erogenous zones is unpredictable - even if they have no relation to childbirth. And if there were gaps, cuts - that also a certain morbidity is at first possible. So anew get used to own body, investigate it independently and by means of the husband, open unexpected and pleasant.
By the way, appearance of genitals can be at all not such as you remember it. In - the first, you, maybe, also forgot partially how it looked, - behind a stomach it is not visible, and in - the second, really, hormonal emissions and purely physical impact of the kid create a new picture. Right after childbirth genitalia will be edematous and from - for it increased in a size. But soon they will become not less exciting, than earlier. Complexes are about it senseless: nothing will change, and men are all the same unpredictable - never know what will be pleasant to darling.If the mood is constantly reduced by
For some married couples postnatal time appears time of opening: it is found out, for example, that, except penetration inside, there is also a world of caress which for some reasons was used obviously insufficiently. Caress, a petting can be “first signs“ of the coming-back sex. Those 6 weeks of a ban concern only penetration into the woman, and all the rest will not affect a condition of her uterus, risk of infection etc. in any way. So it is possible to caress each other not only, but also it is necessary - and how differently to show the mutual gratitude for the miracle which appeared in the house?
of Exercise for a vagina can be recommended practically to each woman after the delivery. This gymnastics is good also for acceleration of normalization of the sizes of a uterus, and for restoration of the habitual sizes and former elasticity of intimate places, and for strengthening of sensitivity of habitual and new erogenous zones. The equipment of gymnastics is simple and allows to be engaged in it at any time, in any place and in any situation. The woman slowly, within 4 - 5 seconds, reduces (involves in itself) muscles of back pass and a vagina. Then 5 seconds hold muscles in a condition of full compression. And, at last, within 4 - 5 seconds slowly relaxes muscles. 5 seconds have a rest, then repeats the movement. And so series on 30 times. Such series carry out during the day with a frequency of 1 time an hour within 2 - 3 weeks. Besides, the involving movements can be very exciting if to do them when the husband already inside...
More expressed and fast results will be if during retraction you imagine that muscles, being reduced as if something scoop and involve up a backbone. Quite often “something“ is felt as the hot and exciting clot forcing to tremble a body at the illusive movement. Having learned to feel this clot, the woman will be much easier to be excited and test an orgasm at any kind of sexual influence. Results of gymnastics can be shown at once or in several weeks, but they surely will be.
: at excitement and an orgasm the uterus is reduced so restoration of its sizes, depletion comes from postnatal blood much quicker. Begin with acquaintance with by itself, and the husband let some time will stay the tool which you own. Finds at penetration and frictions can be as pleasant, and not really - and it is necessary to manage to change instantly something if it becomes suddenly sick. So the husband, perhaps, should admire you, soaring over him in heaven, listening to herself, giving him pleasure same, as well as itself.the Active behavior of the woman during restoration of intimate relations is not obligatory for
, but in many cases is optimum. Though for someone activity of the husband serves as the strongest exciting factor, and therefore it is not necessary so to break habitual stereotypes resolutely. In the majority of couples the husband should be even more active, than earlier: tired mother will easily prefer a dream to sex, but if “to bring“ her, will not refuse to the newly appeared father proximity. Activity of the husband - gentle, tender, on the verge of a sensuality and sexuality - excites, but does not force. Were not able earlier? You study, for this purpose now it is a high time. Touches to a breast should be limited, only if the spouse feeds the child or if it has a hypersensibility after the delivery. For the rest caress of a breast differs in nothing from what was before pregnancy. Though here new opening - and in that, as for the breast, and in nipples are possible.
of Caress of intimate areas if to that there are no reasonable restrictions in the form of the gaps or cuts taking place at the time of delivery. Do not hesitate to tell the husband about this feature, you do not suffer from pain - from it it will become better not. But if pains at touches to a seam keep long, then it is worth visiting the gynecologist and to find out whether all there as it should be as the wound etc. begins to live
Is so that the wife should constrain activity of the husband who waits will not wait for the termination of term of abstention. It is in that case quite acceptable to replace usual sex oral or to be engaged in a petting to an orgasm at the husband. But also in this case it is better to distribute caress equally between partners. By the way, and there are ample opportunities for searches new and interesting, and for both spouses.
Sometimes the compelled sex restriction with caress positively influences sexuality of the husband. If the man worries whether he will have an erection, sufficient for the intercourse, then its disorders can lead to disappearance of this erection. This phenomenon is called a syndrome of expectation of sexual failure and consider as the most frequent frustration of a potentiality at men. But now, knowing that the orgasm at the wife can be reached also without erection, only by caress, the man will dare to relax and to worry not so strongly as earlier. And it automatically improves an erection during proximity. Therefore the man ceases to hurry, finds more time for tenderness that, of course, is positively reflected in the relations in couple, sensitivity and excitement of the wife.
we Overcome obstacles
What can prevent sex in the first year after the delivery? Of course, the child. Whether he sleeps in the same room, as parents, or in other bedroom - all the same mother is constantly ready for its wave and at the slightest sounds from the kid loses any desire to have sex, rushes to the child that... once again to be convinced that everything is all right.
Get accustomed to the kid - what schedule of a dream at it? One children deeply sleep in the first half an hour - hour after laying, others are long tried on, but in one or one and a half hours fill up very strong. This “quiet time“ can also be used for love. Besides, many young mothers say that they cannot switch to love because all the time expect that it will be necessary for the child. Here also it turns out that else nothing occurred, and the woman not in love mood any more.
Try not to look in the future, indulge in caress without thinking about what is just possible: the future all the same will come in itself, wait for it or do not wait. By the way, remember that in the past you probably had cases when sex proceeded in risky conditions: suddenly someone will see, will find in an “interesting“ pose... And nothing - everything occurred contrary to hindrances.Be adjusted by
on the same wave:“ I want, and all the rest can wait“. Also you will see that excitement will be much stronger and more often than when you listen to what did not occur yet, and can - and will not occur.
If before childbirth the main erogenous zones were in a clitoris, then now they became much less sensitive, perhaps, on them passing of a head of the child physically worked. In such cases it is necessary to improve blood circulation in a clitoris. For this purpose 2 - 3 times a day for 5 - 10 minutes rub to the area of a clitoris ointment Solkoseril or Venoruton (are on sale in a drugstore without recipe). Improvement of blood circulation in this area will be shown by more and more pleasant feelings, and since some moment - and excitement with the subsequent orgasm. Such rubbing in can be done not only right after childbirth, but after a long time. Only the individual intolerance can become contraindication for application of these means.
How to return desire?
Decrease in desire and excitement after the delivery happens in two cases: most often - from - for cares and efforts, eternal load, absence of the help from the husband and others house. But there can be also other option - presence at the woman of a postnatal depression. And it is not about such obvious development of an illness when all seems gray around, and food tasteless, like cardboard. The erased disease options which in life are indistinguishable from chronic fatigue as it appeared, occur slightly at every tenth woman in labor.
the Erased depression differs from simple fatigue in the fact that paints of the world fade, the feeling of completeness of life is not restored even after rest (at least in half a day), and the future seems dark and gloomy while usually the anticipation of a growing of the child causes pleasure and satisfaction. Appetite sometimes is increased, but there is no saturation therefore the woman eats constantly, putting on weight - and complaining of it … The depression cannot be waited - she needs to be treated. The psychiatrist, as well as other mental diseases is engaged in it. If suddenly the woman or her family consider that her mood and the general state enter the area of frustration, it is better to be reinsured and consult at the doctor - it will allow to find a way out quicker and easier. The started depression is reflected both in sexuality, and in relationship in a family, and in the attitude towards the kid.by
To put it briefly, after the delivery it is necessary to resolve an issue of sex also resolutely and quickly, as well as other important problems of this period - revision of clothes, care of a figure, restoration of old acquaintances etc. Of course, all this can and be neglected, but whether costs?
Learning itself new, it is necessary not to cling to old stereotypes, and to open in itself that it seemed unusual or unattainable earlier. Abstaining from some forms of intimate proximity, do not hesitate to invent new, to attract the husband with new caress and to wait from him for new behavior. Restoring the form after the delivery, do not forget about restoration of intimate bodies, improvement of their sensitivity, searches of new erogenous zones and types of caress of these zones. And if the mood is constantly reduced, it is the best of all to consult with the doctor - and to restore former emotions.
I it is possible, life will become not just happy, but also enchanting!