Psychological infertility: myths or reality?
One our distant relative, we will call it Olga, long time could not become pregnant. Doctors could help nothing, they did not find neither at it nor at the husband any deviations or diseases. And children all the same did not manage to be conceived. At that time her husband worked under the contract in Spain. There it was also advised by familiar women in special day, under certain conditions, to bathe in the sacred source which is in a deaf small village …already many means were tested by
For last ten years of their joint life without results, and it seemed to Olga the last hope in its situation. She made everything as it was told, and suddenly there was a miracle - in a month she understood that she at last is pregnant! The boy was born, and in two years the girl already without any miracle cures was born. This history occurred more than 25 years ago. Then it was explained with miracle, sanctity of a source. Now psychologists would tell that it had a psychological infertility, and healing had no relation to a miracle, but was directly connected with a condition of its mentality.
What means the term “psychological infertility“? According to some information about 30% of couples, asked for medical care concerning infertility, have psychological or psychosomatic infertility.
They say that all diseases from nerves. And in it there is a big element of truth. Already many doctors in usual policlinics and hospitals often point to the psychological reasons of this or that disease. Our problems, stresses, complexes and our thoughts really exert a great influence on work of bodies in particular and all organism in general. Any more surprises nobody that some forms of bronchial asthma and diabetes, a hypertension, stenocardia, vegeto - vascular dystonia and other diseases have psychological roots. Also and infertility can arise from the fact that subconsciously the woman does not want, is not ready to give rise and grow up the child.
As a rule, the reasons lie in children`s experience. Perhaps, in the childhood there was any injuring event. For example, the little girl heard that the woman died at the time of delivery. And all lamentations on the fact that here if not the child, then she would live to herself, lived. Or in her family such vital scenario is accepted: from history of ancestors the girl knows that earlier they on the female line had many children, through generation it is already twice less, the mother has it one, and she has an infertility. During the life she all the time hears that if not children, then career would develop, and with other man the grandmother could construct the life differently and would be happy and rich, and mother devoted all the life to it. Also it is gradually postponed at the girl in consciousness that the child is a hindrance for private life and big problems.
Happens and so that the woman treats herself and the body so that she perceives pregnancy and the child`s birth as catastrophic threat to the organism, physical and mental health. Also there is a chain:“ pregnancy - threat to an organism“. In other words, the certain negative experience got earlier for any reasons was not endured up to the end, the mentality could not accept, overwork and cope it with it and to save the person from a bigger travmatization, drove this experience far away, into subconsciousness. But he did not disappear anywhere and from far away continues to dictate to the woman the living conditions. She also does not realize this influence, and does not remember already those old events. But the mentality already turned on protective mechanisms and guards, and as if warns that if there comes pregnancy, then it will threaten health and, maybe, even lives. And pregnancy does not come. Thus, the mentality protects the person from a possible meeting with the injuring event, and even more with its consequences.
of the Reasons of psychological infertility a set - as much, how many and the women suffering from it. They are especially individual. Examination them, stay them in the past and processing of that, not endured negative experience, can lead to the fact that infertility will pass “in itself“. Violence in the childhood, and the death of relatives, stains, the bad relations with parents, and also personal features of the woman can be the reasons also: the increased uneasiness, fear that she will not be supported by relatives, will not give help, the previous unsuccessful experience of pregnancy and childbirth. Besides, the woman can be quite adult on age, but absolutely unripe in the psychological plan, infantile. In other words, she still the child where to it to give birth to the baby! She cannot grow up in any way.
In the modern world also other reason of psychological infertility even more often meets. This desire to promote, take place in the professional plan. Especially as such way is very much welcomed in society and in every possible way supported in mass media. Many women consider themselves worthless if they did not reach career heights on an equal basis with men. And here in them there is a fight for as it seems to them, identical values: and it is time to give birth to the child as the age approached, but also it is terrible to leave professional life. It can lead also to internal loneliness, to isolation from society for long term, to deterioration in financial position. And subconsciously the woman is not ready to conception. Though externally there is both her desire, and efforts. Against impossibility to become pregnant the depression develops that blocks even more an opportunity to become pregnant.have more and more
In our society and more often pregnancy in 18 - 20 years is considered as extremely undesirable. All parents try to protect the daughters from it, inspiring in them that at first it is necessary to get, be acquired an education, to learn the world, and then already and children it is possible to give birth. And girls enter intimate relations from 14 - 15 years, and all this time pursues them fear to become pregnant. I.e. negative installation on pregnancy is created.
But there passes time, the girl marries, there are years, and there are no children. And people around begin to be interested “unostentatiously“, well when, at last? The woman begins to be nervous from the fact that nothing is impossible. Her nervousness feeds psychological infertility even more and there is a vicious circle.
By the way, the woman can quite have the accompanying justificatory diagnosis of infertility which at other woman can not be an obstacle to pregnancy approach. Happens even so that the woman subconsciously chooses to herself the partner from whom she cannot become pregnant. During the period, favorable for conception, partners begin to quarrel, avoid sex, to go to business trips, to get sick, generally, to do everything to exclude a possibility of conception.
Married couples can play as if game under the name “infertility“. Externally they do everything possible that long-awaited pregnancy came, but in practice the ultimate and extramental goal is to prove to themselves that it it is impossible and to acquire the right to live, suffering from infertility, receiving from it and secondary benefits.
Externally, consciously, the woman really very much wants to become pregnant, visits doctors, suffers from “inferiority“, for it pregnancy and the birth of the child becomes meaning of life, and internal installations do the.once again I want to emphasize
Ya that all these processes go unconsciously, the woman really suffers from childlessness. And here the psychologist can give effective help. With its help it is possible to establish the reasons of developing of psychosomatic infertility and to find ways of their permission. Studying old experience and experiences, it is possible to achieve that the internal ban on pregnancy will be withdrawn. Many cases are known when and without the assistance of the spouse`s psychotherapist, having despaired to give birth to the own child, adopt the baby, raise it, and through some time give birth to the own child. Having understood, rather having even accepted the fact that the child is not only deprivations, but also happiness, the body of the woman “agrees“ to pregnancy.We told
about female psychological infertility, but also it can occur at men. For the same reasons the organism of the man can develop antibodies to own spermatozoa, reduce their mobility, worsen quality of sperm.
we Will return to the beginning and that old story and we will try to understand how so it happened that bathing in water gave such effect. Of course, it is difficult to judge it now, after so many years. It seems to me, for Olga it was a critical boundary after which she as if told herself that she will hope more is nothing. During this period time of its relation with the husband could not call stable, they often quarreled, did not understand each other and everyone thought that, maybe, it would be better to leave, as it is unsurprising. Statistically the majority of couples if they have no children within 11 - 12 years, disperse. Olga with the husband already closely approached it. Really, there was no place to recede. The family for Olga was one of the biggest vital values, and only the child as it was represented to it, could rally her family. Therefore not to face a bigger loss, the organism had to reconcile to pregnancy.Finally I want to tell
about one client. The infantile, whimsical, unripe woman who is not knowing that it is necessary to her from life, and besides with subconscious installation of rejection of men. Though they also she was married several years, it had no children as she tried. During our work she managed to become pregnant though it was therapy “side effect“ as originally it had no such inquiry, and it came concerning problems with the husband and desire to divorce him. Pleased with pregnancy, she began to make plans as she will leave the husband, will raise the baby for herself. We began to consider gradually the possibility nevertheless of its arrival at least on an extract from maternity hospital … But it is already other history.