Heydi Murkoff:“ I was influenced by all pleasures and fears of motherhood“
of the Book Heydi Murkoff were called by “The bible of pregnancy“ and, being sold out in million circulations over all countries, helped a huge number of women to be prepared for childbirth correctly. In a Year of the Family the writer decided to visit Russia and to get acquainted with problems and fears of the Russian women.
- What you induced to arrive to Russia?
- Birthday of the husband of Eric. He dreamed to arrive here long ago. This trip - a gift to it.
- you the first time in our country?
- Yes, and we perfectly spent time. Moscow - the wonderful friendly city. Very beautiful.
- you communicated with your Russian readers?
- So far I had no such opportunity, only by means of radio and television, but I would like it because my readers, future mothers are my main source of inspiration, and I very much like to communicate with them.
- As it seems you what problems connected with pregnancy, the main at the Russian women?
- I think that pregnancy is an experience which is universal. Problems which will arise at the Russian readers differ in nothing from problems of Americans or Frenchwomen. These are the same feelings, experiences, fears therefore all women need identical support.
- But in all countries the different level of medicine, the mentality differs.
- Yes, certainly. I am still not really well familiar with the Russian medical system, but gradually I begin to learn something. In America in the last several decades there were big changes in the field of obstetrics and gynecology, and I hope that these changes will happen also in Russia soon. For example, I learned that you increased the number of the children born by means of Cesarean section. In America these operations are performed long ago. I think that anyway, possession of any information will calm the woman.
- you started talking about Cesarean section. How you think whether can the fact that she gave birth to him not independently will be reflected in mother`s attitude towards future child and did not pass through all these tortures?- Is not present
, I so do not think. If Cesarean section needs to be done on medical indicators, then it is justified, it helps to save life of mother and child. That communication which exists at mother with the child appears long before childbirth, and Cesarean section is not capable to break off it in any way. Moreover, over time it will only get stronger.
- And that the women capable to give rise independently, all the same go for operation, considering that it is less painful?
- I do not consider that it is good because Cesarean section - all this is operation, and you should not subject the body to surgical influence without the reasons, of course. There are many myths connected with Caesarian section. For example, that it helps to avoid negative consequences of childbirth. It`s not true. The majority of complications depend on an organism of the woman or the wrong conducting pregnancy, except that consequence of operation can be even more serious. As for sufferings, in America many women give birth under anesthesia: they are in consciousness, but do not feel pain. I gave birth to the children naturally.
- whether new ideas for books after acquaintance to Russia appeared at you?
- I consider that to travel around the different countries, to talk to different women about their pregnancy - it is very useful and it is interesting as helps to compare just the countries and to draw some general conclusions, to take universal experience. For example, today I learned that presence of the father on childbirth does not practice in Russia rather widely. It is widespread in our country, and fathers even independently cut an umbilical cord.
- Well, our fathers on childbirth faint.
- I think that it is necessary to organize special trainings for men. Knowledge is force, both mother, and the father have to try to know, as much as possible, not to be afraid. It is necessary to give to fathers chance. Earlier and women were not informed in questions of pregnancy. They did not understand what happens to their organism, and it generated a set of scary myths.
- But whether there was no desire at you then to write a grant for men?
- In my book the certain head for fathers is, but I advise them to read all book. It will help them to understand what happens to their wives because sometimes it seems to them that the woman was changed by aliens. It is not aliens, and that their darling expects a baby. The book will help them to reconcile to inadequate behavior of future mother and mad changes in her mood. When the woman at first cries, then laughs, then shouts - it is normal, and men should not be afraid of it.
- Tell what medical knowledge is the cornerstone of your books.
- These books were carefully re-read by doctors, and in some clinics of America they are even used as medical grants for doctors, also they were checked by doctors of Russia for compliance to standards. I think that it is very important to have answers to questions which are not only the medical theory, but also are checked on experience. These are the books written, first of all, by mother and for mothers.
- whether physicians and psychologists Entered polemic with you sometime?- Is not present
. In America the pregnant woman is considered as the partner for the doctor, and she has the right to ask questions, to discuss the state with the doctor, to argue, with something to agree, from something to refuse.
- you have books addressed to women, and there is a series for children. With whom it is more difficult to find a common language?
- I love mothers, I love children therefore I have the best occupation on light. I have a website on which I communicate with the little readers, and it seems to me that all of them are my own children.
- One of your books is devoted to how to prepare the senior children for the birth of the kid. You faced such problem?
- At me such problem was not. The first at me gave birth the girl Emma, and she was more senior than the younger child of everything for two and a half years, but already then she was well prepared. Besides, it already developed a maternal instinct. When I nursed the kid, she “fed“ the teddy bear. But such problem exists in many families, and you should not be afraid or hesitate of it. To understand the child, try to present a situation that your husband brought other woman into the house and told that he loves it too, and you will live all together now. It is necessary to support the child and not to consider his negative behavior as a whim.
- And how you consider how many children it is the most reasonable to have or the limit cannot be?
is very individually for each family. For me two children - it is very good, and for other woman, for example, and twelve will be a little.
- Recently even in the successful countries birth rate is much lower, than was before. How you think why women are afraid to give birth?
- I think that the reason and in an economic crisis, and in the fact that women prefer to give birth to children as it is possible later. Before the woman began to give birth at the age of eighteen years and managed to give birth to more children. Now women put career on the first place. And the more children, the it is more difficult to make the choice between work and a family.
- And what do you think of women who have on the first place not a motherhood, namely career?
- I do not want to judge anybody. I consider that there are no wrong elections. It is necessary to listen to the heart and to do what it calls you for.
- Now in our country such situation developed: in the large cities of the woman give birth after thirty, and in the province it is possible to meet both sixteen-year-old, and even fifteen-year-old mothers.
- the Same occurs also in America. It is not really good even from the medical point of view because the organism of the young woman is not ready to childbirth yet. Besides, girls are not prepared psychologically at all. When you have on the first place a family, and you refuse for the sake of it career and all the rest, it, undoubtedly, deserves respect, but girls go on it unconsciously and often just break to themselves life.
- you Finally could not give advice to those women who are afraid of pregnancy, are afraid of extra kilos, are afraid to change a way of life?
- Actually if to eat properly and to observe recommendations of doctors, then extra kilos will easily descend after the delivery. Of course, in an organism there will be changes, but they can be minimized if to keep to diets, to carry out physical exercises. Besides, all these inconveniences - trifles in comparison with that miracle which arises in the woman`s organism. I tell you it as mother of two children who was influenced by all fears and pleasures of motherhood.