How to cause positive feelings in other people?
the First element in creation of human relations are understanding of the simple fact that each person bears in himself a certain value for others. The question sounds so: “What do you want to mean to people around?“ . You, most likely, would wish to be associated for people around with something positive.
Then to you should be checked how people react to you. Pay attention to reaction of other person while you, for example, enter the room to greet it, especially in case your visit was for it a bolt from the blue. How this person reacts to your emergence? Whether the pleasure and enthusiasm lights up in his eyes? That you see: a smile or the frowned eyebrows or maybe fear and confusion? Results of supervision are good check that you mean to this person still before you begin conversation.People always feel
how you are ready in relation to them. You and your knowledge to them will be uninteresting until they do not feel that you are interested in them. At the level of subconsciousness you act as the transmitter which reports to people around, what mood at you: joyful or sad whether you feel as the winner or your feeling of a self-assessment fell below zero level! The successful person has to radiate force, confidence and optimism.Hardly you will be able to transfer by
the enthusiasm to other people if you are in nasty mood. Let`s formulate the major rule: at any communication compliance between what you say also to what you feel is necessary.
- If your message has to be interesting, you have to be interesting.
- If your message has to be dynamic, you have to be dynamic.
As transferring the message you have to be healthy, vigorous, possess personal charm. All cold or unfriendly in you will be perceived as something unfriendly in your message.
to People likes to feel well, and they want to be in an environment of the same people. For certain you met people who fascinated you. About those who are able to impress favourably, say that they are attractive. What is the attractive personality? This is the personality who attracts, attracts to herself, that is possesses personal magnetism. It is special type of charm which is owned by the person and which it can directly give to the environment.
Knows well that if on a belltower to strike in a bell and to force it to sound, then and other bells will begin to sound in the same tonality. You can awaken in others only what is in you. The key to the people surrounding you lies in you.It is especially important
when you deal with the people infinitely tired of daily satisfaction of often trifling requirements inclined to close doors of the reason before reasonable arguments, even before what is obvious. But not so - it is easy for door of subconscious perception, instincts and emotions to close that.you want
that your reasonable argument was apprehended reasonably. You want that your listeners were happy that they can reasonably consider and accept that you want to inform them.
But it can be reasonably accepted only when really listen to you and hear, look at you and you are seen.As you can guarantee
that you will be heard and seen?
Only appealing the emotions, feelings, subconsciousness, together with the rational reason and physical presence - as the person in general - to the listener as to the person in general: reason to reason, feelings to feelings, physical presence to physical presence.we Will begin
with how you sound. Your voice and your speech are absolutely unique for your identity. Your sounding, a manner to pronounce words also makes special impression on others. Your voice is more expressive than a musical instrument. It arises in your organism and does not exist separately from it. The voice and an organism function in common and support each other. Your voice is rails on which your thoughts reach consciousness and subconsciousness of people around. Words live in fluctuations of sounds. Thus, their value wakens, and we speak about the inspiring force of words.Right there we will notice
that ability to listen - not less strong instrument of influence, than ability to speak. At each of us only one mouth, but two ears. And, nevertheless, many people speak much more, than listen. There is one way by means of which you will be able so to learn to listen that you will begin to attract to yourself people: show sincere interest in the interlocutor. When you listen to the person really, you give him such valuable thing as respect.
That lips hide, hands give out. Your hands - the thinnest instruments of power influence. Even how you shake hands with the partner, makes important part of your personality and strongly influences the impression made by you. As we prick up the ears at sluggish handshake! In the same way as the voice of the person is individual, the movements of his hands are individual. They can be soft, strong, rigid, resolute, indifferent or full of feelings. Art of handshake can be cultivated. When you greet the person, enclose in the handshake something that the person felt that you are sincerely glad to it.
we will talk about a look Now. Your eyes are windows inside and outside. All body of the person can radiate tranquility and concern, but especially intensively this radiation occurs through eyes.
of an Eye is called a window to the soul because they directly and immediately reflect power processes of a body. When the person is energetically loaded, his eyes shine, and it is a good sign of a healthy state. Any suppression of power level of the person obscures gloss in eyes. It is possible to determine intensity of an expression and its quality by eyes. Someone`s eyes briskly shine, and someone`s are dim and often happen empty. Of course, expression of eyes changes, but we speak about a typical expression. Eyes happen boring and angry, cold and heavy, and happen soft and attractive. The blank look gives impression that “there is nobody here“. Looking in such eyes, the person receives impression of internal emptiness. Contact by eyes is one of the strongest and the most intimate form of relationship between two people. It includes transfer of feelings at deeper level, than verbal because contact by eyes is a form of a touch. For this reason it can be very concerning. Many people avoid contact by eyes because are afraid of the fact that can tell their eyes.We are inclined to trust
to the one who does not avoid our look. But it is insufficiently simple to look in the face to the interlocutor, it is necessary to do it with interest. Everyone has a bitter experience of communication with those who often only pretend that listens. Yes, the person can directly sit opposite to you, knowingly nodding, but his look is directed by you to a door or still where - nibud. Despite gestures and verbal assurances, his eyes speak:“ To me it is uninteresting“, and then we lose desire to continue conversation.
Therefore if you want to interest somebody, you look him or her fool in the face and try not to lose this contact to keep interest of the interlocutor.with
When the famous conductors work, they at first adjust all orchestra, and only when purity of sounding of the main chords is reached, they begin a concert. Also and you have to adjust constantly yourself. The one who loses own positive radiation that loses also force of impact on others. Having realized value of this influence in everyday life and paying it necessary attention, you will manage to turn misfortune into happiness, accident in chance.
Thus, strategy of attraction and calling of good feelings in people is very simple:define
- with what emotional state and feelings you want to be associated; then become
- an example of such state and behave so that to awaken the same state in others.
Talking to other person, constantly mentally look through the most attractive, convincing and useful moments of which you would like to inform attention of people. In the imagination “see“ their such as you would like that they were seen by people. Let does not disturb you if what you “see“ now, seems to you too exaggerated or considerable. You need to work with the emotional nature to reach the emotional nature of other people, and it at all not the same that work with rational reason.
Usually people want to work and communicate with those who are self-assured. The more you believe in yourself, the more others believe in you. Then you will be sincerely in the statements, and it will work because the more sincerely you believe in yourself, the more people trust you.Sincerity in communication is necessary for
since if you in something it is insincere, your subconsciousness in the form of corporal behavior will signal about it. Results of many researches show how important coincidence verbal and corporal is. Even the small child can learn to deceive, using for this word. But it is much more difficult for it to control corporal behavior; the truth almost always comes to light. For this reason the majority of us is more inclined to trust corporal information, than verbal if they do not coincide. If you, transferring information, want to achieve desirable result, let your verbal information find expression in a mimicry of your person and in tone of a voice. And therefore be always sincerely, then in your behavior there will be no discrepancies and your information will be apprehended with full confidence.
your personal magnetism receives the expression mainly through a voice, eyes, hands and a look - fixed assets of communication with others. How you use them, defines peculiar only to you a behavior manner. As to any person it is not allowed to see that at you in the head, people perceive you through your behavior. You can organize and direct it so that it helped you to achieve any desirable objectives.