If the child is teased at school
of the Child tease at school. No matter, that gave to schoolmates rise to it is high or, on the contrary, the small growth, some other lack of appearance, a trait of character and so on.“ Teasers“, offensive nicknames, constant sneers injure the child, especially if he is by nature vulnerable and timid.
cases when this situation leaves from - under control Happen and becomes irreversible. The child perceives school precisely the place where he is exposed to mockeries. It can affect its self-assessment, progress and, eventually, its state of mind.
What to undertake in that case to parents? How to be if your child is teased by schoolmates if from - for sneers he does not want to go to school?Psychologists advise
to parents not to interfere, at least, openly with the conflict of children. Your intervention will not force other children to concern to the child differently.Schoolmates will not cease to tease
, they will not understand that they hurt someone. On the contrary, it is quite probable, protection of seniors will finally restore schoolmates against your child. To play with it as equals, will not begin to admit to the company it - he is “informer“, could not cope itself, and brought parents.
Thus, the aspiration to deal personally with offenders or the requirement that the teacher the power “stopped these mockeries“ will lead, most likely, to isolation of the child in a circle of peers. Besides, the kid will draw one more conclusion: he is not able to cope with difficulties itself, he needs the help of adults. It will deprive of it self-esteem and confidence in own forces. And, as it is paradoxical, will prevent it to respect own parents. The child asked them for the help, and their intervention only worsened its situation.
in What way to help the child who got into so hard situation?Some parents advise
to children to deal with offenders by the most effective methods. In most cases such councils are reduced to one: to sort out the relations directly, openly having asked what does not suit mockers. Often these examinations immediately turn into a fight which the one who is right not always wins.To be fair needs to tell
that similar tactics sometimes leads to positive results. Participation in a fight, even in case the victory was not absolute, rather often helps the child to ego-trip. But you should not be fond of it.
the English psychologist Doris Brett, the practicing doctor, the skilled specialist in questions of children`s psychology, considers that you should not allow the child to be claimed in thought that any problem can be solved fists. On the contrary, it will be useful to show that it is possible to find with honor the way out in other ways and to let know to the child that to it it quite on forces.to
for this purpose to the child needs the help of parents who have to convince him that troubles not at the one who is teased, and at the one who does it. The child should let know what completely happy and happy with itself, the appearance, the character and the self-assured person will not begin to pay attention to shortcomings of others even if these shortcomings real.
quite effective way to cope with offenders Exists: not to show how these “teasers“ offend you, not to let know that you take them very much to heart.Doctor Brett suggests to lead
conversation approximately according to such scheme:
“You complain that Ira teases you all the time, and other girls catch up her words? I understand that it is awfully unpleasant. To such an extent that there is a wish to begin to cry. But tears you will not solve a problem. Tell, you cried at school? Business did not reach tears, but you were upset, and girls saw it? And what, after that they ceased to tease you at once? Began to treat you better? No, everything was absolutely on the contrary.
So let`s think how to us to be? I, of course, can talk to them. But it seems to me that as soon as I leave, and you will remain one, everything will be started over again. How you consider?
Perhaps, we will arrive in a different way: you as it is difficult, will pretend that you are very much made laugh by their words. Yes, it is hard. But think what Ira with girlfriends tries to obtain? To make so that you were upset. And still and it happened.
A you try to arrive differently. Smile. Think, girls spend so many forces and time that you became sad. It is really ridiculous and silly.as you believe
A why Ira so wants to pay attention of other children to your shortcomings? Probably, she is not really sure of herself, otherwise she would not act this way. If you laugh, then thereby will show that all her words - just nonsenses, and she behaves not too cleverly. And others soon will understand it. And still they will understand: if you are made laugh by these words, so all “teasers“ not about you, and will begin to laugh at you is absolutely uninteresting“.
As is noted by doctor Brett, practice shows: to convince the child that similar behavior - really real way out, happens hardly. And here, as always, the bright example will help. Tell the child as in a similar situation there were you or someone from your acquaintances or relatives in due time.
the Big impression will be made also by a name of the famous actor, athlete or just familiar person who managed to cope with a similar situation thanks to such simple, but effective way.
needs to try to convince the child that he should act most.“ Mother with the father will not always be near you. Means, it is necessary to learn to protect itself independently“. As for a question of transfer to other school of the child who is teased by schoolmates, on it it is impossible to give a definite answer. Everything depends on a concrete situation. The vast majority of psychologists advises to try to investigate the arisen conflict on the place irrespective of, you transfer the child to other school or leave in former. Otherwise already in new collective there can quite be a recurrence of the same conflict situation. The child just ran away “from a battlefield“. And such situation, humiliating for it (was the loser, even without having tried to win) by all means will have an effect also on the new place. Let school another, but parents transferred a burden together with the son or the daughter to this collective. And if the situation at new school repeats, the child instead of defending the position, again just will want to avoid further troubles and to leave all difficulties behind, having shifted freight to shoulders of parents.
Before the kid will go to a new class, it is recommended to talk to it, to analyse the reasons of the arisen conflict and to together discuss how it is necessary to arrive not to allow repetition of troubles on the new place. Quite often it happens that the developed reputation of “crybaby“, “meek creatures“, “strutter“ does not allow the child to improve the relations with schoolmates even if he, on the advice of parents, changes the behavior.
it is extremely heavy to Change behavior without preparation even to the adult, old habits quite often get the best, and it is in the order of things. Explain to the child that it is quite natural, he is not the robot. Let the child be oneself, but will try to be more self-critical, monitors the behavior and does not repeat former mistakes.