Mummy within walking distance
If the child does not like to play one, does not know, than to occupy itself when you suggest it to play in the room... If continually tears off you from household chores, demanding participation in the inventions: “Let`s construct a tower together?“... You patiently set up cubes one on another, admire height and fortress of construction... also you hurry to return to the interrupted work. But not here - that was because he already runs to you with the following request: “You will help me with drawing?“ Why the kid is not capable to play independently?Playing
alone, the child receives special, incomparable pleasure. But, remaining alone with itself, he has to feel safe and it is safe. In most cases complexity not in what the kid cannot think up, than to him to be engaged, and that he not too surely feels without mother`s presence. Some children as if “are forgotten“, plunging into game, at this time they are not interested in location of parents at all. Kids are absolutely serene as are sure that mother will not disappear nearby and anywhere while they selflessly play. But many children, having remained alone even for a short time and having lost an opportunity to control you, feel strong alarm. The loneliness staticizes and aggravates fears. It is natural. For this reason the child provided to himself cannot concentrate at the game as he needs to be convinced constantly that someone from adults nearby, within walking distance. From here and infinite requests to play together: the kid feels safe, only when you with him. Of course, through some time it will become independent, autonomous and will be able quietly to transfer loneliness. But the child needs support to learn to do without your help in the course of the shelter of the machine in garage or the organizations of a lunch for dolls.Private life
at the age of 2 - 4 years the child begins to understand
gradually that he is an individual, learns not to turn around to you when ask his name, and to answer independently. It gradually finds identity, and this process demands from it huge expenses of energy. It is the difficult period, the child as if is shaken on a swing, approaches you, without wishing to leave for a minute, moves away, trying the forces in independent behavior. This hard time when at the same time he wants to remain a kid on mother`s knees and to become adult, independent, skillful, to show an initiative. He can be anxious seriously from - for so inconsistent desires, his fear of loneliness amplifies, he feels uncertainly therefore it needs more your attention, than usually. To the kid not enough own resources to cope with such important changes. Refusing to play one, he as if tells you:“ The father, mother, I yet not absolutely comfortably feel with myself“. Or it has an impression that you pay it not enough attention. There is a set of the reasons explaining its feeling of vulnerability. It is important to try to understand what prevents the kid to become a source of game plots and imaginations for itself and to help it to overcome these difficulties.
to Know when to stop
When your kid systematically calls you to play with it, do not feel obliged to respond to his request immediately! If you are really busy or want to have a rest a little, you can tell quietly and firmly it:“ Now I am busy and I cannot help you. I will surely play with you when I am released“. You do not become bad parents, refusing to the child immediate performance of its request. You just let it know that you the certain person with the requirements, and has the right to expect from it patience and understanding. Even if the small child is not capable to do without assistance yet, he cannot be constantly dependent on other people and on their presence. It can complicate its adulthood!to us to all own world in which we are capable to derive pleasure from a privacy is necessary for
. Playing independently, the child addresses the imagination, it imitates, presents itself(himself) someone to others. In the game he can imagine himself several characters at once, build up between them the relationship, speak for them. If you are a constant participant of his games, this process slows down a little.the Whole world
In order that the kid played
independently, offer it a wide choice of games. By 2 - 3 years in its arsenal there has to be a set of various toys: cars, animals, dolls and everything that is applied to them. At this age you should not limit the choice of toys, buying boys only equipment, and to girls only dolls and soft toys. The child learns the world in all its variety, and such artificial restrictions impoverish its game. Buy
for the kid a lodge - tent to which he will be able to retire when you nearby. He will feel comfortable in such small, cozy space. Suggest it to invite guests in the lodge and to arrange for them tea drinking. Ask its permission before looking on it. It is a good way to let to the child know that it is protected from sudden invasions. Such approach will open for it one more pleasant party of loneliness - an opportunity to dispose of the time and space at own discretion.
the Kid takes the first steps in the world of logical representations: think of designers and puzzles., of course, colored pencils, paints, multi-colored plasticine, scissors with blunt ends and glue for the smallest will find for
I the application in his creativity. Also do not forget about picture-books which your baby will look through alone... after reads them together with you!
- the Kid needs you to learn to play independently.
- Inspire him. Watch it at distance and when you notice that at it something turned out, pay attention to it. Praise its construction, a cosiness in a doll lodge or correctly collected puzzles. To agree to play alone, the child has to be rather self-assured. He needs to hear that it does everything well and correctly. Help it to find
- occupation. Sometimes, remaining alone, he does not know, than it is possible to be engaged. He feels lost before the mountain of toys, it is difficult to it to make a choice. Without insisting on a certain game, help it to choose occupation, asking questions in a game form. The kid for certain will pick up one of your ideas, and he at once will have a desire to play. Remain
- nearby. You should not sit down in close proximity to it, but also do not leave far and talk to it without leaving the occupations. Your voice will fill the emptiness frightening the child.
- Show interest in games of the child. To help it to make a choice, you need to be guided confidently in its toys and to have an idea of his preferences.