On pleasure steps. The first month of
Ulyaska was born on March 26 in 2. 50, in labor kept the good fellow that rescued mother, i.e. me, from stimulation by oxytocin and from any other baddies. Only the head of us was implanted into a small pelvis incorrectly therefore made an effort I long and “break“ was followed by gaps. Well, it that`s nothing unusual, everything already began to live and it seems absolutely insignificant now.
Pregnancy lasted long - long, and, unfortunately, now I understand that fully I from this process did not derive pleasure. Waited for everything: well when when with the daughter meets, hurried.
A after the delivery time departed with a jet speed, about this time and the story. In general, we small still, to us the fifth month of all goes, but last four were so saturated, joyful and different that there was an unexpected wish to write about it.
And so, first month. This time can be characterized in a word: chaos. And both in positive, and in negative sense of this word. For the newborn, in fact, there are no special differences between day and night therefore for mother with their father did not become too soon. What only we did not do at 2 o`clock in the morning (well, and other night hours): ironed diapers, started the washing machine, sandwiches burst (forces - that should be taken somewhere!).
Ya lived with feeling that in my organism there is a ticking bomb and it is my breast! A pasting of nipples D - pantenoly, continuous palpation... “And! And! Consolidation! Darling, by run in a drugstore, buy a milk pump! It is rather! And what we it did not buy earlier?!.“ “It is scarlet, scarlet, went round 4 drugstores, necessary is not present anywhere, to go to the fifth?“ “And you know, at me passed already, give home“. In 2 days too most: “Well and that that evening, is the round-the-clock drugstores! Well, in the morning. But you early - early will go, huh?“ Eventually the milk pump was bought, few times very much helped out. Now is used to leave if necessary at several o`clock.the doctor carried out by
At an extract from maternity hospital with me and the husband the separate conversation concerning how hormones at the given rise woman play about. Told the husband to be tolerant and attentive that all differences of mood, emotional failures (reasonably) - it is normal. I all listened to myself - whether the artful postnatal depression creeps? And it crept... to the husband. Why the doctor did not tell about it? I felt myself extremely vigorous and cheerful, and my diplomaed psychologist sat down near the crying daughter, and, having collected eyebrows by a lodge, asked a question: “Why she cries?“ And itself, apparently, too was going to cry with pity to the child and the general parental helplessness. Lack of any mode and not predictability of life cast darling into a stress too. It seemed to it that normal parents have to do everything systemically and providently: and we do not have enough romper suit (bought a little), it is necessary to iron in the middle of the night. Thank God, adaptation happened quickly, and already in few weeks, carrying on hands of the crying child and understanding that it is not the universal tragedy, the husband uttered:“ There is nothing hearts of the skilled parent are more stale“. Well, it for fun, of course.to us the low-sleeping child got to
. That is now, after time, I understand that the daughter needs a dream not much less than other children, just, probably, the nervous system so worked that it was heavy to fall asleep it, and extremely simply to wake up. Having read in the book about development that wakefulness of the kid in the first month of life can last till 15 minutes, we were filled in with a Homeric laughter. 3 - 4 hours you do not want, writers? It was lucky that in these hours it did not roar, and it agreed to silent contemplation of parents and surrounding objects.
the Starting point in creation of the mode. It was the stability island in the sea of chaos: by the strong-willed decision of parents it was established that this ceremony takes place in 21. 00 - 21. 30. And we began to try to keep within at this time. After bathing - greasing of folds oil, “packing“, feeding, a dream which on circumstances were interchanged the position. So, for example, in the first few weeks pulling of the child from a bathroom regardless of how took place bathing, caused such roar that it was simpler to feed, then to dress, and then once again to feed.
One more fundamental conclusion on relationship with our daughter: with the child any of procedures which can be carried out “on an empty stomach“ it was impossible to carry out “on an empty stomach“. Any massages, any bathings, any vykladyvaniye on a stomach are unreal if the portion of a milk eaten the day before is close to digestion. The loud offended roar is real only. Therefore we spat everything and began to do necessary procedures after food.“ Core is full and edges played“, - my grandmother said, meaning sharp improvement of mood at the full person. And at us while “edges played“, all processes went much better. Of course, at least 10 - we tried to take a minute break. And then half-hour, and then the sentry and approximately by 2,5 months treasured “toshchak“ before massage stopped being an unattainable ideal.
Except for explainable maternal concern about any red speck, a chair or “bunch“, the main stresses of steel for me 2 things: fractional dream and feeling of total unfreedom.
By daughter`s month I understood that I slept more than 2 last time - x hours in a row just a month ago. After laying to sleep in 22. 00 - 22. 30 we woke up in 00. 30 and then each 2 hours. If still to consider that to feed lying I then did not adapt it (was sick), it was impossible to sit at first, and the daughter for 30 minutes sucked, then it is possible to consider how many kilometers I “cut“ on 3 square meters in the middle of the room.
concerning unfreedom: we somehow to the girlfriend had a wonderful dialogue. It: “Well as your Ulka? Still each 2 hours you feed?“ I: “No, - and, warning her the joyful statement, - each hour“. Curtain.
Was to adapt very strange simply psychologically to thought that I do not belong to myself. The small and native being so needs me that absence from the house for 3 hours is an impossible thing, and a campaign behind bread alone - such outlet that during a time to shout: “Freedom to parrots!“
the First month became also time of greedy absorption of literature on care of babies and articles about their behavior. The main thing that I took out for myself and I can advise others:“ There are no absolute recipes. Listen to yourself, and to the kid, only your comfort and health measures correctness or abnormality of these or those actions“.
So, for example, a joint dream which is now propagandized very actively. I have at all no prejudices which are imposed by grandmothers and mothers and to facilitate joint life we honestly tried to sleep together. But specifically my child as it appeared, sleeps so sensitively that he wakes up even from my deep sigh and cannot fall asleep any more. And I cannot spend several hours in a pose of “a dead spider“ - without moving and without breathing. An exit was found following: the first night dream the daughter slept in the bed as we had it the strongest. Then I took it to myself as one she did not sleep any more in general, and with me, puffing and groaning, slept at least somehow. Then gradually I began to try to put it in a bed after the first night feeding: from several attempts it ceased to waken at the time of a rearrangement, and a dream in a bed at it always more strong and longer. Then after the second feeding and so on. When I already adapted to feed lying, involvement of the husband to the child`s rearrangement became revolutionary opening. From - for our the increased keenness for me it was almost unreal to rise from a sofa, without having disturbed privalivshiysya to me the snuffling lump. And the husband sleeping on other side from me got up, crept with edge, and, acting with palms as the excavator, got the sleepy child and quickly set up the daughter in her bed.
the Following break in improvement of quality of a night dream:“ The child who woke up at night is not always the hungry child“. In our case it turned out that the first awakening comes not so much from desire to eat how many from desire to popukat. Therefore if it on the daughter to take handles (one on a head, another on buttocks) and to offer a pacifier, then she will safely oversleep still a couple of hours. And then these procedures began to happen also without prosypaniye. And a dream with 23. 00 to 2. 30 strongly improved my maternal health.
What else was in our first wonderful month? Well, naturally, a dryganye legs and crying from gripes in a tummy. My shock from as far as my organism after the delivery “fell down“. Problems with food: everything that is useful for my digestion, is harmful to the daughter. Everything that is useful for it, results in lack of digestion at me. First parental pride: as we hold the head, lying on a stomach as we watch eyes a rattle as we reflex creep, being pushed with legs in father`s palms. (That doctors will tell mucks and will frighten fear of the first medical examination). By the way, this fear it was vain. The friends and relatives asking only one question: “Well, when when it is possible on a visit?“ Well and of course, diathesis scatterings on favourite cheeks. When in the menu there were a buckwheat, cheese and tea with sushka, and the husband suggested to exclude drying, I broke into tears. So we met the first monthly birthday grown larger on 900 grams and very much - very spotty, and the second wonderful month which I would designate already two words - “Life goes on began!“