Rus Articles Journal

To fall in love with own husband of

Why even the strongest marriage suffers and how to fall in love with the husband anew?.

By then as you with the husband lived together more than 10 years, you have an idea of how to overcome difficulties. Most likely, you do not quarrel from any more - for the fact that one of you forgot to buy on the way home milk. For these years you found a common language with the mother-in-law, learned to endure difficult life situations together. You know about each other everything - still, to wake up 5379 days in a row with the same person! But at the same time even more often it seems to you that you slightly - slightly were tired that in the relations more and more cold and boredom appears. Besides children already grew up, you do not walk in park three together any more, there is no that main general interest which so united you. You had more time for yourself, but you do not know what with it to do. And your husband? Whether means that it has too now other interests. And suddenly it is 20 - the summer blonde?.

Here some of the most widespread problems and ways of their decision which will help to revive the relations with the spouse.

Never you go together to bed if you for something are angry at each other...

Often we prefer to endure everything inside, without splashing out outside. We are afraid to spoil the relations, without thinking that thus only we accumulate irritation, we allow anger grow in ourselves to the dangerous sizes. It comes to an end, as a rule, with a splash of negative emotions and a punch on a table: “All! I so cannot any more!“

We understand that mistakes have to forgive each other and quietly discuss what disturbs us.

But nobody is ideal

. It is unlikely you will find the person who in a condition of anger can reach compromise. A rage splash - dangerous piece. In a condition of aggression heart begins to fight at reckless speed, emotions overflow, sometimes even the head is turned, psychologists call such state “an emotional storm“. In an anger rush you can tell something absolutely offensive. Men, as a rule, treat insults much more sensitively, sometimes at all cannot forgive them. So take yourself for the rule: while you are angry, pull a pause.

Wait a storm till the morning, let emotions will cease, only then you will be able to find a solution. Instead of straining a voice and nerves, you calm down and go to bed: nothing so will restore your balance as a good dream. Even better - try to kiss, despite offenses and irritation, the husband or to nestle on him (by the way, six seconds of a touch are before going to bed necessary, many psychologists so advise).

Of course, the moments when you are angry so that you do not want even to go with it to one bed happen, but nevertheless try to overcome yourself. The kiss will remind both of you of why you together, and the long kiss can lead to something more interesting at all. By the way, the rage increases the level of sex hormones, the anger causes inflow of a sexual inclination. It seems paradoxical, but after quarrels matrimonial sex often happens very passionate. So derive pleasure in a bed, and you will manage to sort out the relations in the morning. Not without reason speak - tomorrow is a new day. Do not think at all that the conflicts need to be forgotten, without having found the solution, not at all. Just do not allow quarrels to get to you into a bed.

Once both of you will understand that both of you became others and nothing connects you any more...

Many believe that over time all change, become absolutely others and about any love and the speech cannot be. Experts claim that, once you look narrowly at a couple, at once it becomes clear as far as they are similar. She can be engaged in hours in knitting, and he - to be an ardent football fan. But nevertheless they found a common ground: each of them likes to go about the own business, but odnovremenenno - unless it is not fine? Only present: they take seat near on a sofa, the wife is accepted to a new scarf, and the husband watches a match. Actually, if you have similar hobbies or identical temperament, not the fact that you will live together long and happily. Perhaps, your similarity will also lead to boredom. Judge if it was a guarantee of strong marriage, then people who got acquainted through agency where partners look for each other on similarity of characters, perfectly would live together all life, than those which would get acquainted on the street. But in life happens and absolutely on the contrary.

Marriage cannot hold on only on feelings - spouses have to make every effort. We have to allow to have a rest and rest from ourselves. This the most important that needs to be remembered. The truth is that we really change and even not over the years, and on days and on hours. But it is natural process. It is important not to cease to be interested with each other. You have to have the finger on the pulse - to notice what now tastes at the husband, than he would like to be engaged where he would like to go. If you remain same as in the first day of a marriage, life soon will become incredibly boring and you will surely want to be changed something. You have to develop and share together new impressions not to lose that thread which connects you. It will help to feel love anew and every time in a new way.

When children grow up, you have nothing the general...

Most of parents become despondent

and feel thrown and lonely when children become independent. Some couples continue to hold the friend the friend, others are forced to recognize that children were the only thing that connected them. It occurs from - for the fact that from the very beginning of the spouse set to themselves the purpose to bring up the child, and all forces go on him. But, when this child is absent, apparently, that they have nothing to do together. Especially often it happens when the child was the cause of a marriage which forced people to create a matrimony and to live together. Then it is the most difficult case which very often, alas, comes to an end with parting. In other cases the feeling of a devastation also quickly disappears, as well as appears, you should be engaged in another matter only. Eventually it is impossible to go in cycles in something one even if it is own child. The family is first of all the union of the man and woman, never forget about it.

your marriage has to prosper free. Use the moment: children do not require former attention so now you can give all free each other, as in youth when you only got acquainted. You had freedom, time, became much less reasons for quarrels. Remember how many times children`s whims were the cause of your conflicts. Remember how many times you refused to yourself private life because on it there was no force left when kids, at last, were put to bed. When children become independent, concentrate on yourself, on your husband. Think, than you could be engaged with the spouse now when you have so much free time. For certain you always had some occupation for which there were never enough forces and time. Now you had such opportunity what you wait for? Register in dancing club, you go to theater and cinema in the evenings. It is possible and to change absolutely considerably a way of life - to move to the dacha, to spend holidays together. What you to yourself thought up, the main thing - that you could enjoy life together with the husband again, open for yourself new so many years of joint life later.

In life of each man there will come crisis of average years once - in any day it can “leave by a red sports car“...

It is valid, in the man all life there lives the child who dreams of disobedience. At a certain age of the man can make mad acts. You can swear at them, say that they behave as children, but nothing from it will change. All these attempts return youth can not to be limited to purchase of the motorcycle and parachute jumps, business can reach also the affair with the very young girl that will be the real blow for you. Fortunately, the statistics is not so sad as plots of soap operas try to convince us of it, but all - such cases quite often occur.

It is not crisis, and it happens not only at men. By and large, such behavior says that you are in development, and your acts - side effect of an organism on changes. When to you it is executed 40, you will be already absolutely others, than in 20. Factors for such changes an infinite set: work, children, circle of contacts etc. In a family the relative died or there was some global catastrophe - you begin to consider the life, there is a revaluation of values. All this is natural, you climb steps of a vital ladder, cultivate the soul. With age all of you think more often: in what sense of everything why I do it what I will achieve whether I will be sorry later? As a result of these dialogues with themselves doubts appear - whether correctly I live. By results of recent researches it became clear that 80% of participants for 40 want to begin the new chapter in the life.

not “crisis of middle age“, and “revaluation of values“ Even more often began to tell

: when people say that they begin life anew, it does not mean that they will replace the residence, will change a name and a surname, no. Most likely, the fact that they will begin to find more time for the fact that they love and that it is important for them means. Spending all life for work at office, years in 40 we begin to be sorry and think: but whether it was better to become the artist how I dreamed since the childhood? But, believe, better late than never. Always there is a way to implementation of dream.

Same

occurs also in the relations. People in them begin to think 30 or 40 years:“ Better I would spend more time with a family, than at work“. You have to feel when time for changes comes. Use the imagination, change together with the husband. What is good for you, also for your marriage, it is good precisely.