Reflections of young mother. Part 2
everything as I already specified, according to “Rozhana“ when I was told that I pass some signs when the child asks to eat. I began to read materials on this subject and found strange things: that specialists in GV surely recommend to sleep with the child, to give a breast according to the first requirement - it means, on the first peep, on the first stir! To offer a breast always and constantly. I as argued: fed on the mode earlier, that is the child cries or not, he will eat in strictly certain time. My mother-in-law acted this way. And now feed on demand, that is give a breast at once as the child will begin to cry, without waiting for any hour. And he has to begin to cry because he wants to eat, but not for some reason to another. Therefore if feeding time did not come yet, it is possible to try the child to calm, distract something. Actually, it we and on courses were told. And it seemed to me that the optimum interval between feedings will make the same 3 - 3,5 hours. And I had in general an ideal child! Any shouts, woke up time at 3 - 4 o`clock, began to cry, ate - and again to sleep! I was sure that I do right thing. Took, fed, again stacked in a bed and waited for the following awakening. In the rest of the time the child seemingly peacefully slept. >
Right there it was found out p that it is even better for child to sleep not in a bed, and in a baby sling on mother. And to be awake is absolutely precisely! And in general it is always recommended to mother and everywhere on itself to drag the child, doing household chores. It seemed to me wild. Why to drag on itself the child if he sleeps peacefully in the bed? A baby sling or “kangaroo“ (then for me there was no special difference) were presented to me by convenient devices for a visit of policlinic, for example, or in shop - that not to leave a carriage on the street. And only! Of course, there are such children as here besides at the mother-in-law which did not shout only on hands then the baby sling, of course, rescue, affairs - that should be done. Well or, for example, in the big house when from the floor on the floor a carriage you do not dotaskatsya... But same everything not my cases! > Well and also it became clear
by p that it is better for child to sleep at night too not in the bed, and near mother. I already found it much later when I began to deal with refusal. But I write here as all this about same.
We when even during my pregnancy planned in the apartment shift in connection with the birth of the child and were going to throw out our big bed, and to sleep on the sofa, to us all acquaintances who already had children, spoke:“ You that? Do not throw out a bed at all! No way! You will surely take the child to sleep to yourself“. It surprised me, I somehow was not going to take in the child`s bed, the bed was bought the child. But they insisted that practically always such moment comes when the child sleeps well only with parents. I asked mother and the mother-in-law, mother did not take me in a bed as I behaved faultlessly and slept all night long (with a pacifier). The mother-in-law took besides on need, but remembers it as she about a nightmare because she was afraid to drop, crush the child etc. all the time
Ya did not promise, I understood that, of course, if the child screams blue murder, I will not sustain and simply that most to have a sleep quietly some time though I will put it in the bed though I itself to it will get into a bed if only the child was happy. But, in general, was not going to accustom her to a joint dream. And my baby was also in it ideal. Practically always perfectly filled up in the bed. I did not see need to put it to sleep with itself.
generally, all this (feeding on the first stir, continuous carrying the child in a baby sling and a joint dream) seemed to me not deprived of sense for some special, maybe, strongly “scandalous“ children. And as the recommendation everything - an excess. The mothers carrying the child in a baby sling on themselves even in a toilet, putting the child even to sleep with themselves and each 20 minutes getting a boob were presented to me mad.
Actually, I began to study all this only after refusal, that is after 3 months in spite of the fact that the hint was made during the first laktostaz when to the child there was a little more than one week! And though in general I consider “Rozhana“ in some moments as absolutely abnormal organization, nevertheless, I envy those mothers who finished its courses during pregnancy, but not as I read after childbirth when there is no time at all, and comprehended read more slowly, than the child grew... I and still, more than a month fighting against refusal, not up to the end comprehended all this. Therefore I will write the reasons exactly at the moment to time (24. 07. 2008 12:26:39, Alyona is 4,5 months old), and then will be, perhaps, to supplement something.When I try to explain
now to someone who says that I too bother, carrying the child on myself and getting a breast on any its signal why I so do, I always ask the person to remember, for example, a cat with kittens. Everything is very simple. And what I so long described above becomes clear at once. Kittens lie under a cat round the clock! They almost constantly prisosana to her nipples. Both in the afternoon, and at night. And if the cat also departs somewhere, then very nearby and absolutely for a while. And in fauna so everywhere: the female sits with children, heats them, feeds, protects, and the male delivers food. Kittens are born blind people, absolutely defenseless, they the only thing that can - guess mother, to crawl to her, to nestle on her side, to stick to her nipple is the only place where they feel completely protected.We, of course, not cats and kittens, even our origin from primacies is possible for
to call into question. But in what the newborn human cub differs from a blind kitten? The child is born not the blind person, but eyes the first days opens for only several minutes, they at it still swelled up. And the first weeks (I do not remember precisely how many and it and it is unimportant) the child sees only at distance 20 cm (speak, it just approximate distance from a breast to a face of mother). And how the child put in the bed, still huge for it, also with protective sides, can know, feel that mother nearby if mother even if in meter from it goes about the own business, either has a rest, or sleeps at night?
Further, we will not press in animal instincts, and we will speak purely medical language. The child has a sosatelny reflex, it will not be denied even by the most backward doctors. Why it is? It is obvious constantly to suck mother. Well, here it is put in the child (not important from whom - from kittens, primacies or newcomers from other planet from whom there was a mankind) that he has to be constantly prisosanny to mother. And how differently to explain when the child, lying blindly, even in a dream, turns the head sideways, opens a mouth and something looks for?“ Search reflex“, - the children`s sister in maternity hospital explained to me. And what? And all? And what at the same time it is necessary to give a breast even if the child just ate, nobody guesses?
Guess, but, unfortunately, only the certain clever and advanced mothers. Others do not pay attention, others consider it as the indication to a pacifier...
Turns out if we cannot as cats to sprawl and lie, round the clock making a breast available of the child, and we want to manage to do still some things, then the breast should be offered often, very often!began to write
Ya already, how in some propaganda article... To me sick to remember all this. It was my third night in maternity hospital. I carried out the first in postoperative chamber, there even on feeding of children did not bring, second day I still learned to feed, and only in the morning the day before yesterday I asked to lodge the daughter to me (honestly, I would ask earlier, just thought that after Caesarian it is impossible, and felt absolutely uncertainly...) . All day she slept, to one o`clock in the afternoon brought, at five in the evening she still slept. My parents, newly made the grandmother with the grandfather sat next, and waited that she woke up to look what eyes at it. And she did not wake up. I do not remember then whether it gave me some signs or not... Periodically shuddered in a dream, but it as I was told, from weak nervous system and all... At half past five I did not sustain also any more itself took to feed her. Then parents left, the husband came... Then there was an evening and that was, I do not remember. And then there was a night. I was still weak after operation, it was painful to me to rise, still there was very inconvenient bed, I put a bed from Alyonkaya absolutely near the... But that to take it, I all the same had to get up. I very much wanted to sleep, and she woke up everyone half an hour! With I do not remember what time and to four o`clock in the morning half an hour was necessary to take me its everyone. I did not understand in what business. I fed her no more than 10 minutes (so recommended while there is not a milk, but colostrum - because newborn kids very quickly are tired to exhaust it, it heavier than milk goes), and she fell asleep, fell off and chopped off. I stacked it, and in half an hour everything began anew! I cried, was irritated, took offense at it (it awfully, I still cannot sometimes cope with such feelings in relation to the child...) took, again put, again took.... I did not understand that it is necessary to it if she was fed? And it widely opened all the time a mouth and turned it in different directions... Now tears gather in the eyes! To the child it is simply necessary mother was near! I took it, she calmed down at once, but through some time felt alarm again: there is no mother! Well and that that it nearby, the child does not feel it! I do not know precisely, it was necessary to put, probably, it nearby, it was necessary to give a breast. I do not know as far as it is right about colostrum. Well can and would be tired, so it just podsasyvat, without receiving anything inside, just for calm!. Means, it was necessary to undress, press it to the skin that she felt that mother nearby completely... But mother threw it... Took, and then at once threw again...In vain I it began to write
, these are those memoirs from which I want to run away far away... Recently I began to read the book recommended to me Jean Ledloff “How to grow up the child happy“ (see the following article), there are detailed descriptions that, according to the author, sees, the child thrown for the whole day in the bed hears and feels. I attentively read it as I during wakefulness never threw the child in a bed, I it took all the time and was engaged with it. And here what is felt by the child in maternity hospital when it to mother is brought time at 3 o`clock, I could not read, did not become... We, of course, not always voluntarily go on it, just in our maternity hospitals still such system... My girl lived so two days too... And third day with mother was better for the little... What to say yes, and then the next days... There was one more same night somewhere in the first weeks when she, filling up at my breast, woke up, put in the bed everyone half an hour. I then too cried and was irritated, I was very tired, and I wanted to sleep. I went to a bathtub to wash, and the husband brought it to me crying there and spoke: “We came to mother again!“Then it just after the next feeding filled up
. Not because, at last, gorged on. But because was tired to cry, grew weak, filled up upset, being not able to explain to mother that it is necessary for her... I understood this moment much later, month in two. Still before I began to feed more often, and tried to date everything for some mode. Here, it seems, just fed, and she cries. Also cries, for in Rewa directly, I so far all try to distract it, I rock to sleep, I sing songs, I smile, and it everything cries, and then suddenly time - and with crying is chopped off! Exhausted! Just it was time for child to sleep, and he got used to fall asleep with a breast! Perhaps she also is especially did not want, simply next time to stick, feel that mother nearby and to fall asleep...
I I am not such bad mother, I very much expected the baby, I very long tried to become pregnant, I cried with happiness when I for the first time saw it, I madly love it, I do not understand how I could throw it crying, giving in to the irritations...
Just I had principles, and there were nobody me to tell...