Rus Articles Journal

March cats of

the Adultery is quite widespread phenomenon and true test for durability. It destroys those couples which do not have enough love and strengthen those who really love. But anyway change originally weakens durability of the relations irrespective of for what reason it occurred.

U of each of us already in this respect the opinion developed, for everyone the concept “change“ contains a certain sense. Someone considers that change is inadmissible in the relations between the loving people. For them change is a treachery, there is no sense to continue the relations, the trust disappears and there is a constant suspicion that leads scandals, quarrels and couple breaks up. And someone considers that change is inevitable, everyone has the right to decide how to it to live what to choose.

Change - always the actual and concerning subject, it confirms a set of researches on the matter. It allows to consider change, not only proceeding from the experience and opinion, but from the scientific point of view that helps to dispel myths which turn then into our stereotypes.

the opinion that the man is more inclined to change, than the woman because at it the need for sex is higher Exists. According to about 70% of married men and 60% of married women have an extramarital affair. This myth existed because women are not so frank in the love affairs as men. Data on female incorrectness which received by means of questioning earlier are not authentic, women even in anonymous questionnaires do not write the truth.

Today materials of psychotherapeutic sessions where clients are more frank are

the main source of information on this of the most important sphere of life. Hundreds of psychotherapists unanimously claim that the fair sex for proximity needs emotional attachment, a sincere arrangement and trust whereas men of similar need nothing for good sex.

If the woman most often looks for

serious attachment in the illegitimate relations, then what motivate change of the man with? Let`s address data of sociological poll. Men most often explain change with sexual requirement which is satisfied with casual, unfamiliar partners. Alcoholic intoxication strengthens sexual desire and weakens internal bans. Many men consider this state as the direct reason of illegitimate communication.

One more motive is the love to other woman, every tenth of the men having such communications pointed to this circumstance. But all - analyzing data, it is possible to claim that the love role as motive of illegitimate communications is small.

in What unfaithful husbands differ from adulteresses in

? According to M. Hunt`s data, most of unfaithful husbands consider the marriage quite successful while most of adulteresses consider it unhappy. These data were confirmed also by other psychologists.

of the Man, it is worth thinking of it! Whether you pay due consideration, understanding and caress to the wives? Remember, most often the woman changes from - for dissatisfactions marriage! Most of men look for a sexual adventure in adulteries, they are eager for fresh feeling of a new body - all that will excite again their blood. Most of women looks for feeling and friendship in adulteries, at first become attached emotionally, but not physically.

At married men illegitimate communications, as a rule, numerous, but short - only for sex. To the change of the woman there are longer, than men. Most of women, cannot change only a body and therefore cannot understand men. Does not believe that he really does not remember a name of the girl with whom overslept as the woman remembers a name of the lover even many years later.

Matter in a basic difference in approach to physical proximity. Female incorrectness is a flight from the matrimonial relations which are not arranging the woman. One very good psychoanalyst spoke: “Women out of a matrimony look not for sex, but emotional support, but they are forced to pay for this emotional support in the body. Because which of men will give emotional support to the woman, without having put her to bed or on extremely measure without having received hope for it?“

When one of spouses learns

about incorrectness of another or admits it, many have feeling of pain, humiliation and treachery, bewilderment why it occurred and who is guilty? Therefore psychologists recommend if there are no refutable proofs not to admit the sin at all. Except additional torments, it will bring nothing to the deceived party.

What all - to do if you learned what your second half changed you? How it is correct to behave what it is better to undertake and what you should not hurry to do? On this question the American psychologist, the specialist in problems of a family, Geena Heynli gave a practical advice.

“In - the first, treat it quietly. In life of each man, as a rule, other woman, at least just just for fun appears sooner or later. So do not consider as if the God`s penalty suddenly fell upon you; you are not lonely and you are surrounded by just the same deceived wives. Just if they are not silly, then do not advertize situation.

And you, for certain, are not innocent

and if did not fool around, then though you several times considered such opportunity. Men in this case just more light on the feet, but they quickly also forget the illegitimate communications therefore do not do the tragedy of the incident.

be not “excessively basic“

and do not put the task by all means to punish the traitor. Your task - to keep a family. Eventually, why to give to the competitor what can be useful to you?“

Of course, these councils will help you if really for you it is important to keep a family. Then you should not get excited and make incorrect scandal. I doubt that it will be able to change your situation, but, as they say, “you cannot change a situation, change the attitude towards her“. It agrees, it will be hard, most likely, the offense and disappointment will smother, but you remember that your task to keep a family.

Should not hurry to tie an extramarital affair to revenge the unfaithful spouse - it will not lead to anything good. And the most important, you go counter to the principles. Unless not you were indignant with change of the husband? To the deceived woman everything is better to refrain from rash acts, psychologists advise, it is better to wait until your head cools down.

When change will be found, your former ideas of marriage will change. If you were inclined to the idealized, romantic relations before, then now you should reconsider them, to approach reality and to accept others shortcomings.

By itself the question, “so to do arises with

?“ It depends on a concrete situation and on features of your spouse. Husbands - “revellers“ demand other tactics, than those who are fond seldom. Here you should decide that for you it is easier - to leave or reconcile to what your husband changes from time to time. Many wives close eyes to the husband`s sins, appreciating not fidelity, but care and charm.


, the family life, changes without the reason happen seldom. Having laid aside own, even fair claims, try to understand what your husband lacks the house: attention, tenderness, tasty dinner or long caress at night. It is impossible to find a definite answer what to do how to behave, it, I think, everyone has the right to solve itself and in each case individually. Change - a heartrending experience on durability! Is it worth pushing luck? You love, each other, you appreciate and preserve the relations, they can be destroyed, having given in on a flashing temptation.