Rus Articles Journal

The orphan at you on a visit

of Some people who help orphanages things visits disappointment.

They find out that the state system of boarding schools - a black hole which will absorb any means, in it enclosed. And how still it is possible to help? In all orphanages and shelters of our country there is so-called guest mode - when the adult takes the child on a visit. At several o`clock. Or perhaps and for all summer.

Should do to


For all with whom I had to communicate concerning the guest mode, everything began just with desire to help orphans from orphanages. “It is necessary to do something!“ - this thought did not leave Olga Ovodova from Moscow area, and she understood what to do, - joined group of volunteers who helped local children`s home: gave additional classes with children, drove them to the temple. Olga went further the others: began to take children on a visit after the termination of service.

to Take

children from orphanage on a visit - the easy and effective way to help orphans, available practically to everyone. On the one hand, the adult can invite the child when it is convenient to him. The guest mode does not assume the subsequent adoption or the special relations at all. In fact it is just friendship with the child. Though, I will not hide, often the adult becomes attached to him and takes away in a family.

on the other hand, to the child who got used to sit within four walls and to communicate with children - orphans it is important to learn how the world behind a fence of orphanage looks.

On a visit he sees the relations in a family. It is extremely important, from graduates of boarding schools only 20% establish a family, and usually it is children who of experience know what is a family. Besides, the child has an adult who is interested in him, something for him does. The child who is taken on a visit learns a lot of things: it is driven somewhere, something is shown, told. At least what is a bathtub - in children`s homes there is only a shower! And not only knowledge, but also impressions are very important for development.

the Specialist in adoption, the methodologist of School for foster parents Galina Krasnitskaya advises

to take on a visit children is not more junior than seven years - so easier to explain to the child that it is taken not for ever. Children are younger can not to understand it simply.

we Will start


C of what to begin? Olga Ovodova advises to arrive the same as she: to join volunteers who already cooperate with orphanage. It is so simpler to come into contacts with the management, it is not necessary to be let in explanations from where you and why came. Volunteers can be found on the Internet (for example, through forums of adoptive parents), or in temples where there are communities helping orphans.

the orphanage in the area is the most convenient to choose

, of course, not to drag the child in stuffy transport. For this purpose it is possible to address to the agencies of guardianship at the place of residence which are usually located at local municipality.

Further a lot of things depend on the management of child care facility. Of course, the director can refuse to you. But usually the management meets requirements of the people wishing to take the child. Especially in orphanages where foster education practices. The guest mode - not a prerogative of some special orphanages, it practices all establishments for orphans including in shelters. Conditions on which will allow to take you the child too in many respects depends on the director. Will allow to take the child in the temple, perhaps, to you on the basis of the simple statement addressed to the director with the indication of your passport data.

If you want to take

the child on a visit, especially for longer term (with spending the night, for example), you will be directed behind the allowing letter to agencies of guardianship at the place of residence. Here we approached the difficult moment as the list of documents on the basis of which such permission is given is legislatively not registered. Usually guardianship directs the employee to examine conditions of accommodation of the inviting person. But can demand the complete list of documents which is required for adoption. Then on the basis of the letter from guardianship the management of orphanage on receipt will give you the child for strictly stipulated term.

What to occupy with


is convenient to take children for the weekend, holidays, school vacation. The last is especially important for children who have no relatives, to them threatens to stay all vacation on one place. Galina Krasnitskaya advises in advance to think over the program. It is possible to descend with the child in circus or on a children`s performance. It is possible to go to the dacha, to arrange picnic, to drive a ball in the yard. Board games also will be suitable for occupations with the child. Not to be fond of animated films one video better - children watch TV and in children`s home. Galina Krasnitskaya does not advise to take on a visit more than one child. In - the first, so you will be able to concentrate completely on it, in - the second, to be engaged with several orphans at the same time hard psychologically. But there are also exceptions.


So it happened that the Muscovite Elena Volkova, mother of two children, took on a visit for winter vacation of four boys - orphans.“ I wanted to take one boy, but understood that to the child in the unfamiliar place to one it will be uncomfortable, and decided to take it together with the friend“, - Lena explains. For vacation of children sorted therefore the choice of “free“ friends was small - the boy who had two more elder brothers. Lena, without having been confused, agreed to take all four. “We perfectly got on with them, they quietly behaved, helped to carry bags from shop, played with the kid“, - Lena who then on hands had a one-and-a-half-year-old baby says. For those ten days that children stayed with Lena, they went to circus, to the game center, at cinema to animated films, walked in the wood, read, drew. And still children long took a bath with foam.

Marina Nefedova from Moscow area drives children to the temple, next to children`s home, on Sundays. After service it took on three - four children home.“ At our place small fishes, parrots. We specially did not feed small fishes if we knew that children will come, - left it for them. It is very interesting to them if in the house there are any living creatures, - Marina says“.

Svetlana Kevorkova who takes several years children on a visit after service advises

to be engaged with them in cooking: “Children with pleasure cut salad, it is interesting to them. In orphanage they have no opportunity to be engaged in economy, some affairs, usual for us“.

is Summed up by Olga Ovodova:

“With children can be engaged in everything, anything. You have some hobbies, you something are able. Yes though to cut out flowers from napkins!“


“Somehow time after I took away children in orphanage, I found out that from a bag money - 140 rubles was gone. I estimated who it could be, returned to this boy and I speak:“ You represent, at me money, here trouble were gone! You in orphanage will be surely fed, and my children will be left without dinner“. He became serious: “Yes?. Well, I will help you. To me the grandmother will come in the evening, you come after her leaving, I for you money will ask for her“. Also you know, returned!“ - Marina tells. It is necessary to tell that this history - the only case of theft about which I happened to hear during material preparation. And still, inviting on a visit the child from orphanage, it is better valuable to clean all from foregrounds not to confuse.

the Parishioner of one of the Moscow temples Oksana complained to

that she should raise the voice on children when they come on a visit, and it would not like to do it very much. The expert Galina Krasnitskaya considers that it is a commonplace, and even advises “to develop a command voice“. The matter is that children in orphanages, alas, got used that shout at them, and it seems to them that if the adult speaks quietly - it is weakness manifestation.

Svetlana complains that children can unexpectedly lose interest in something, refuse to help - for example, to wash for herself the dishes though did it with hunting earlier. Anna Egorova, the teacher of art Moscow region studio for orphans which often takes on a visit on several children advises accurately to distribute duties. For example, to enter the schedule of watches on the house. And still children have to understand accurately that if something is not pleasant to adults in their behavior, then more on a visit can not call. Still Anna advises not to stop trying to awaken interest in what from it is required in the child. For example, to tell it something entertaining about in what it ask to be engaged.

Oksana told that one of the girls staying with it constantly repeated:“ I am with you only because you to me buy something“. Such consumer attitude towards itself cannot be allowed. Children have to appreciate what they are given, to understand that the gift is something special. It does not make sense to do big purchases, for example, the bicycle or the mobile phone. Everything got “just like that“ or will be broken, or in children`s home the senior children will take away.

Opponents of the guest mode consider that it injures mentality of the child - having visited a family, it comes back to the state atmosphere of orphanage again. “We go to holiday, and then we come back. Perhaps to us not to go to holiday now to avoid a stress?“ - Galina Krasnitskaya comments.

I now the most, perhaps, difficult moment - what to do with requests to remain? Practically all who took children on a visit face it. For this reason it is recommended to take children after seven years that they understood that to what. Galina Krasnitskaya advises to hang up a calendar on a wall and to note together with the child when it arrived how many he needed to stay. “Of course, me every time was asked: “Aunts Marin, aunts Marin“, but without special enthusiasm, it is rather pro forma“, - Marina Nefedova says. The child needs to explain why he cannot be taken for ever - sick mother, there is no place in the apartment etc.

Much more important, Galina Krasnitskaya says, not to interrupt communication with the child. Especially if you took it on a visit several times. “Leaving the child, you speak to him:“ I will arrive to you then - that“. That not was any “can be“. If you cannot arrive in the appointed day, it is better to warn, explain the reason. The child who began to be taken on a visit feels more surely, begins to treat in a different way tutors, other children. For it especially it is sick if it is thrown suddenly.