How to decide to give birth to the third?
Three years ago I appeared in a situation when thought of abortion. Two children needing me (to them now to one 4, to another 7), and I, from financial side not really well provided, but firmly convinced that I have to exist the best mother, to be strong, to carry out all desires, not to limit the children in anything etc. And pregnancy.
At first I had mixed feelings as all - pregnancy is a miracle, gift from above and the privilege of the woman, but nevertheless I did not see in it only the iridescent parties as it was at appearance of my first children. I did not imagine how it can be sustained, did not feel rather strong, sufficient prepared for the birth of the third child.
After long reflections I made the decision, and the decision it was - to make abortion. However I could not venture it in any way. I was tormented by doubts. How I will be able to support one more child, without limiting at the same time two other my children? But this business was not only in it. I remembered how I held on hands of my kids after the birth as they peacefully lay, and I promised them to make everything that to them it was good. How I could not give it to my third kid? As I will be able just to make the firm decision after the birth of two kids and to tell: “No, you have no right for life!“
I still I thought of my children what it will be when later I tell them that I killed their brother or the sister? Then I thought, my debt as mothers is not only to provide all financially, but also my debt as mothers to love them, what is put in us by the nature - to love the children. And as if I could give life of the kid for better financially to provide two other children?with
I was tormented by conscience... And I made the decision that, of course, it was difficult. The girl of whom I so dreamed after two boys was born, and we sustained. Of course, sometimes to me happens not easy, but finally all of us are happy. My eldest son already rather adult to understand that mummy cannot pay everything that to him will want. Though usually children want much and do not think of money. And if the son speaks to me:“ Mother, is much better that we together“, at me for pleasure heart clenches. Of course, we do not live in misery though we and should save. But my life only became richer. And my baby will receive everything that it will be necessary for her.