``The grandmother - therapy``
Recently one my acquaintance at whom the daughter, the charming girl of years of five grows, complained to me: the child absolutely got recently out of hand, does not obey, all the time is torn to the grandmother, “and that all allows her“. What to do, maybe, not to let to the grandmother at all?listened to
Ya, nodded, and itself suddenly remembered history which heard from the best friend few years ago. Having married the lieutenant, she left with him to the duty station and it appeared suddenly in a small town, for couple of thousands of kilometers from “Continent“ - so inhabitants of the Far North call a midland of Russia.here is how - that in the winter practically all small children in this military camp began to be ill
I: appetite was gone, the sleep was interrupted, children became irritable, whining and aggressive. And in a small town all on a look, all about all know everything. And mothers sounded the alarm - whether something frightens children, whether in the town epidemic. Called doctors, and those see that children have a depression and why - cannot understand. And only one elderly doctor told: “Your children urgently need the grandmother - therapy“.
“What is it?“ - concerned parents could not understand.“ Very simply, - the doctor answered. - It is necessary “to write out“ from the Continent of grandmothers. Let will stay with children how many will be able …“
But the most surprising in this history the fact that after with big efforts to this far town there arrived the first grandmothers, children began to recover …
Having heard this history for the first time, I wanted to understand the reasons of a depression of these children, I am a teacher of elementary grades. It appeared, it is all about shortage of communication.
as usual day in the officer`s family looks? Morning. The father gets up very early and leaves for work when the child still sleeps, comes late when the child already sleeps. And during week-end - business trips or watches. And so day after day, week after a week: the child is only with mother. When good weather, they walk and if on the street - 35 °C? Then walk is cancelled for several days, and even the whole week …
I here they stay at home … Played, esteemed, drew, made household chores, again played etc. But over time both mother, and the child are bothered by this monotony. The kid becomes whimsical, and mother - irritable. Some mothers, to have a rest, turn on the TV, seat before it the child, and then complain that the child became uneasy and irritable.
So there passes month, two... And then at the child the most real depression begins. Recently vigorous and living peanut becomes the closed, reticent, painful touchy person. And it is not an isolated case, such depression meets quite often. Parents then make a helpless gesture, and contain with them and all around supposedly are not able to raise children.
A exit nearby, both not such it and difficult. Grandmothers are necessary …! Grandmothers give to grandsons what parents cannot give: it is more than caress and understanding, it is more than time and desire something to show, to tell, explain. And pranks of kids not so irritate them: grandmothers are already wise and therefore is much more patient than parents.it would Seem to
, nothing is present terrible that children see “granny“ only once a year and play chess with “old man“. But it not absolutely so.
Sometimes can see such picture: the granddaughter with the grandmother sits, mold pies. The granddaughter all in flour and in the test, a table, a chair, a cloth, a dress and hair too in flour and the test... Mother shocked - it how many it is necessary to erase! And in eyes at the girl happiness: “Mother, we with the grandmother do pies!“ Here and there is a treatment of a depression grandmother`s love and care.in own way supplement with
of the Grandmother and the grandfather parental education. They other, senior generation, and not incidentally at a number of the European people call the grandmother “big mother“, and the grandfather - “Big Daddy“.
Using it, some young parents try to shift education of the children to grandmothers and grandfathers. But then communication of grandmothers with grandchildren turns from pleasure into burden - they are not young any more. And they should not replace parents. Some parents bethink too late when time is already missed: there is neither understanding with own child and nor time for re-education … It is necessary to realize that full responsibility for the child is born only by parents therefore also the leading role in education has to belong to them.
Other extreme is when the grandmother and the grandfather try to discharge completely the “frivolous, irresponsible, still green“ children of education of grandsons.
“As to be? With the grandmother and the grandfather it is bad, will spoil, and without them it is even worse - the child can spoil mentality. Where correct decision?“ And, though they are not always healthy, at communication with grandsons they often forget about the age problems. And grandchildren endow grandmothers and grandfathers with unconditional love and sincerely reach for them.
the Destiny of the child depends first of all on parents, and they influence what it will have life - happy or not. And to parents to decide how their child has to communicate with grandmothers and grandfathers, but it is impossible to forget words of the children`s psychologist V. I. Garbuzov: “Without wise grandmothers and grandfathers the childhood is as incomplete, as without fairy tale, without kindness, without the truth“.