Rus Articles Journal

Finger in a mouth not of luggage!

you Use expression only figuratively? Means, your children grew up. How to treat such habit of kids, the psychologist Olga Bass tells.

the Ancient reflex

When the kid was tired and wants to sleep when to it it is boring or sad, it often pulls in a hand mouth... The Sosatelny reflex - one of the most ancient (primary) reflexes at mammals whom also the person treats. From the moment of the birth the baby derives the greatest pleasure from food which gets to an organism through a mouth. The first close acquaintance with world around happens to the help of a mouth too - as soon as the baby understood that a hand it is possible to take a subject, it pulls it in a mouth.

Approximately till one and a half years he acts this way with all objects. Sucking of a finger, a baby`s dummy, blanket and any other objects, except a small bottle with food or breasts (i.e. food sources) - “that`s nothing unusual“. Process of sucking calms, and it is difficult for kid to find for this purpose different ways - he does not know them. Therefore sucking of a finger phenomenon, quite natural to the early period of life.

Forgive to

, a breast

at the beginning of life the child perceives mother as part of, for it it is natural to calm down and be consoled by means of a breast. By a year the kid begins to understand that mother - separate and it - separate. Having for the first time realized “separateness“, the child begins to be anxious. It is alarm of parting, and it is normal. Children sometimes ask again for this period “to mother on handles“, do not want to go to anybody to another, are afraid of strangers, cry at a meeting with unfamiliar or when mother leaves. When the child gets used to this fact, he begins to look for different ways of calm - the kid needs a constant consolation when to it badly or, for example, before going to bed.

at the beginning of life a mother`s breast - a universal remedy of calm, but over time the child begins to understand that it does not belong to it, and a finger - own. Though there are children who begin to suck a toy or something else at once. It is considered that ability to calm itself (using for a consolation a finger, a toy, a blanket, a mitten) - a certain sign of independence.

Baby`s dummy or finger?

From the point of view of psychology, it is unimportant. The child considers a baby`s dummy as part of therefore affection for her quite often turns into an addiction. It is simpler to suck a baby`s dummy “in public“. A finger, shaking on a swing, you will not take in a mouth - inconveniently, and this occupation too intimate. It is unclear why, but usually children do not suck fingers “in public places“. If the child actively sucks a finger after 3 - 3,5 years, parents should reflect that prevents it to find other way of calm.

the Habit to a baby`s dummy most often arises since the birth (in parallel with a habit to a breast or a small bottle), and it is desirable to leave it by two years. Concerns many parents whether the ban on a baby`s dummy provoke transition to sucking of a finger can? It is not obligatory at all though sometimes it occurs. If to take away a baby`s dummy sharply, the need for sucking will not disappear, and the child will look for adequate replacement. The finger in this case will be very useful. Till 6 months the baby`s dummy usually does not carry out soothing function - rather, satisfies a strong sosatelny reflex which decreases over time. Only later it begins to calm - for old time`s sake.

to

Therefore even if with feeding by a breast everything is all right, to the child it is possible and it is necessary to give a baby`s dummy, otherwise it it will be constant as speak, “to hang on a breast“, though it is not hungry.

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Why took “step back“?

Regressive is called the behavior characteristic of earlier stages of mental development of the person (child), than on what it is according to chronological age (for example, the child at the age of five years behaves so as if he is two years old). The regressive behavior is most often shown at kids during the periods of stresses and difficulties (even adults cry with rage as children or begin to ache and be capricious). There is nothing terrible in it, but, as they say, everything is good moderately. Return to infantile behavior for the long period of time does not lead to anything good and borders on pathology.

Children can regress at divorce of parents (a frequent case - some kind of protective and effective reaction to some period of time); if adults use to them physical force (beat); if you want to receive the desirable (complain, as babies); if in a family one more child is born (the senior children begin to behave as they small, sometimes ask a breast or suck a finger).

Help the kid

Active and continuous sucking of fingers after 4 - 5 years (if in life of the child there were no serious changes) can be considered as the behavior type which is not corresponding to age. It is a reason for concern and the address to experts.

That “late sucking“ of a finger did not arise, adults can help the child to learn to calm down independently and have to calm him when to it it is bad. Often parents speak to the fallen kid: “Well you cry?! Same it is not sick!“ Reacting thus, adults deny its feelings: to the child it is painful, and mother says that it not so. The divergence of opinions throws him into confusion and upsets even more. If adults do not offer anything somehow to reduce his physical and mental anguish, the child carries out parental “installation“ - calms down as he can (sucks a finger). In that case there is a chance that the kid long will not get rid of this habit or will do still something, not corresponding to age.

be not afraid of children`s habits. To suck a finger and to calm down so, for example, at falling asleep - a habit not from the best, but over time it can be replaced (the child himself finds replacement or parents help: a favourite toy, the fairy tale for the night, gentle and pleasant music).

How to disaccustom?

At what age should beginning to disaccustom with

the child to suck a finger, rather clear, but there was left without answer a main issue concerning many mothers - as to make it? And the main thing how to make it psychologically without serious consequences? What to offer the kid in exchange?

Let`s play

Any otucheniye from something better to carry out in the form of game and that is important, - gradually and with a positive spirit. For example, try to animate a finger which the child sucks, to regret it:“ Watch what it became thin, and he wants to grow too, as well as you“. It is important to offer the child something in exchange, to show other way to calm itself - a fluffy toy, a soft blanket, pleasant music and so forth. Let the kid himself will choose that to him to taste.

Mustard and pepper will not help

!

All heard

about mothers who to disaccustom the child to an addiction, smeared a finger with mustard, pepper, bitter medicine (and not several days, but months did it!) . But as soon as they stopped fight, the finger instantly came back to a mouth, and the child became still upryamy. So you should not smear children`s handles with any muck. In - the first, the child feels pain and strong unpleasant feelings (in some degree such actions of parents is a violence over the personality). And in - the second, it is senseless to arrive in this way. Not to suck a finger, to so do something else to calm down, the kid it will be obligatory. Perhaps, the option will seem to parents more acceptable, and its essence will be the same.

you Remember

: if the child actively sucks a finger till three years, it is normal. It is desirable that then the finger was gradually replaced by a toy or something else that it is not part. Though in difficult situations or at a stress some children can suck a finger till 6 - 7 years. And it is normal too. So do not hurry to get mustard from the refrigerator!

Sucking of a finger will not do harm to mental health, and the inadequate relation of parents to this habit can make the child uneasy

To your data

Several words in protection of a pacifier

When the child has teeth, a habit to suck a thumb can interfere with normal development of a mouth and lead to deformations of jaws. Sucking of a pacifier deforms the growing teeth, than sucking of fingers less. At the children sucking a finger, forward upper teeth often act forward, and forward lower teeth grow a little back. The longer the child sucks a finger, the teeth are displaced more. Shift of teeth substantially depends on situation in which there is the child`s finger in a mouth. But these changes happen only to milk teeth. Stomatologists claim that sucking of a finger does not exert any impact on second teeth which begin to grow approximately in 6 years.

than it is better than

A adults? We, of course, do not suck a finger, but we replace this process still with the worst habits, for example, we smoke or we gnaw in thoughtfulness the handle

Parental universities

you Should not straighten out and punish the child if he likes to suck a finger - this occupation calms him. Years to three you should not even worry. - If this habit remained with the child after five years if he constantly and actively sucks a finger, of course, it is worth beginning to disaccustom him. It is necessary to do it gradually, without negative emotions. Look narrowly and try to understand what else calms the kid, helps it to relax, - and gradually replace with “it“ sucking of fingers. - Talk to the child, support him if he decided to refuse this habit, think up the fairy tale, game on this subject. - Do not take out a finger at it from a mouth. Distract the child toys better. - Finger-type games can help your child to get rid of this habit too. To play with mother in “pat-a-cake“ is far more interesting and more cheerful, than to sit to one and to suck a finger. - It is necessary to disaccustom the child to a pacifier and a baby`s dummy gradually too. If the child used a baby`s dummy regularly, and it was suddenly taken away, most likely, he will begin to suck a finger. - It is not necessary to reproach or tease at all. The negative attention can strengthen a habit only. - Under no circumstances it is not necessary to use physical force, for example, to beat a finger, is not a method of education in a civilized society.