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Education by freedom: Lazy mother of mobile Kolya

Almost a year ago we declared a subject for parental discussion and creativity, it sounded so: what do you resolve also what you forbid the children that they grew up free people? Today we can tell surely: we not for nothing so long delayed publication of reader`s letters because during this time messages from you, dear friends, came just remarkable! So, get acquainted with opinions and experience of the most frank mothers and fathers.

I would carry

of rather to the category of “lazy“ mothers. For example, I from the very beginning preferred to lie down quietly with the son in an embrace on a sofa, than to run on kitchen, sterilizing everything. This my laziness in combination with some features of character of the son (the increased mobility + early the shown tendency to independence) allowed us to overcome some prejudices which I suffered earlier.

So, for example, some of my acquaintances till 6 - 7 years do not allow the child to use

either a knife, or a fork. In one magazine I even read recommendations not to allow the child of 2 - 3 years on kitchen at all. But at us it turned out that when Kolya sleeps, I sleep too, either I knit, or I read. Therefore things we with it do together.

Till 5 months the son participated in household chores, sitting at me on hands as one just refused to lie in an arena. By 4 months he perfectly knew the word “hotly“ and was respectful to a flame. Was enough a spoon and tried to eat, imitating me.

From the gas stove had to shoot handles when Kolya began to turn them (it was after a year). And in general Pricking already then, as well as most of our familiar children, preferred to play the real things, but not toys: adored pans with covers, vegetables (especially onions in a peel). Very much the idea to tie doors of separate cases a rope as Kolya approximately from 5 - 6 months began to show obstinacy helped and did not give the got things without fight.

Kolya independently eats

From 10 - 11 months with a spoon. Since a year began to try to eat with a fork. Somewhere from 1,5 years became interested in knives. While it does not have enough forces correctly to use a knife: it raskovyrivat a product more, than cuts. Likes to help me to cut, for example, boiled potato on pieces. Can get from the refrigerator and pour to itself some kefir, juice, to pour tea, to cut off (otkovyryat) bread, as does every time when wants to eat or drink.

waters with

Itself flowers, feeds a dog, displays things in places, gets to itself from a case clothes, footwear. It is simpler to hide in due time imperceptibly clothes, improper on weather, than then to argue with its choice. Tries to cut independently to itself nails scissors (with blunt ends).

I allow to Climb on a step-ladder on a shed roof, but with a condition to get down too independently. For the first time slightly I secure, without helping. I help, only if after many attempts it becomes clear that the son will not be able to get down.

But, for example, to thumb through good adult books I cannot allow it as it plays with them very inaccurately, almost for certain will tear. But we have a familiar girl who in the 2 years is not interested, for example, in cooking process at all, but amazingly accurately reads books, plays paper dolls, collects a mosaic.

I Forbid to beat with

people and animals though to slap a dog in a back in punishment for bad behavior I cannot forbid as I do it.

In a word, I had such impression that a set of bans and permissions for each child the, but the general spirit in each case has to assume maximum possible for this child a freedom of action.

needs to be Forbidden

intelligently. Direct prohibition “is impossible also all!“ - all the same that a red rag for a bull (at least for the child of years with 1,5, and even earlier). It should be used only as a last resort and to be ready that as a result you will receive scandal.

In general the best way to achieve the - to agree as much as possible. Does not want to sleep. I agree: “Well, you will not sleep. Just let`s sit, we will sing songs. The song is not necessary? All right, let`s tell a tale... etc.“ .

Can agree with the increased enthusiasm with its actions and to suggest to help. For example, I cut something, and Kolya climbs and climbs hands directly under a knife. Arrangements do not work. Then I joyfully declare: “You do not need handles? Well - give - them here, I will cut off them!“. And with the most serious look I try to catch it hands. Kolya right there hides them and does not climb any more. The same: “You want to fall in a hole and to hit? Well, your business! Give - I will help you!“. Also I pretend that I push him in a hole. In many cases works very well.


Ya she is grateful to the son for the fact that it with the irrepressible character just forced me “to weaken reins“ and not to prevent it to develop. There is a wish to hope that it will help me with my other children how many them still I will have.