Game and life by the rules
Life - game, and people in it - actors. What happens if actors depart from the scenario? Full disorder! And in real life. Rules is some kind of general scenario of life. Around us there are a lot of rules: traffic regulations, rules of conduct, rules of the letter, rule of the game etc. How it is possible to learn such huge number of rules? Actually most part of rules, we follow automatically because so got used and it is often so more convenient and safer.
Usually with the child`s birth parents begin to depart from habitual rules, adapting to the kid. Now all their life rotates only around the child. Parents close sockets that the child did not get into them, equip the apartment with various security aids, change a habitual daily routine... Generally, adapt completely to the kid. As a result the child grows in hothouse conditions as a rare flower around which all jump and from which blow off motes.
Often parents give to the child free rain. And once parents bethink and understand that the baby already rather big, and would be time to accustom him to adulthood by rules. And the era of various reproaches, bans and punishments begins.
of Children habitsform
to the Child learning the world, rules are necessary as a compass and the card to the wandering tourist. He should live in society, so, it is necessary to acquire rules by which there lives society. We follow the majority of rules on a habit, without thinking of how to arrive in this or that situation. And a task of parents - from the earliest age to develop useful habits at the child. It is possible to allocate four main whales who put the scenario of further life at the child.the Accurate daily routine - the beginning of the beginnings to
to the Child is necessary for
a certain daily routine: to rise, wash, put on, to have breakfast, clean teeth etc. The child has to do all these things daily and approximately at the same time. The accurate sequence of habitual actions inspires in the child confidence, creates feeling of reliability, security, promotes good mood. The order is necessary for the correct development. In the absence of the mode it will be difficult for child to accustom itself to organization, it will not be able to concentrate on one subject since its attention is disseminated and did not get used to an accurate framework.
As a rule, children establish this schedule, and parents need to correct only a little it. Further the habit to external organization is a step to organization internal. The child who lives on the mode puts into place the toys, helps mother to bring order to the room, having matured, will easily learn to put on shelves and to distribute the obtained information, separating necessary from unnecessary and to systematize the thoughts. And it very much helps with adulthood.
the Example for imitation
plays a Fundamental role in education of rules of conduct a parental example. The child automatically acquires the rules accepted in a family. In a family, behind a table d`hote, on walk, in communication with relatives at the child good manners are developed (or are not developed). And before to do remarks to the kid, look at yourself. If the father does not thank mother for a dinner or does not wash a hand before food, then you should not wait from the child of other behavior.
At a table all matters: not only what we eat, but also as we do it. If parents talk with mouth full, put elbows on a table or eat with hands, then it is hardly possible to see the best actions at the kid. Children quickly adopt a manner of behavior of adults. If parents, having drunk water on the street, throw a bottle where they stood, then it is not surprising that the child will throw a piece of paper from candy not into a ballot box next time, and on a lawn with flowers.
the Child is a specular reflection of parents. And a task of parents - to behave as they demand that from the child.
of Game by rules
After two years the child begins to play with peers various games. Children very much like to play role-playing and group games where there are certain rules. Explain to the child that in each game there are rules. If the child to learn to conform to the rules in game, then he gradually transfers this behavior model to real life. Difficult kids with strong character (pronounced leaders) who at the slightest pretext have own opinion submit to the established rules. In games you assign to such children different parts. The child has to understand that it is impossible to play all life only those roles which are pleasant to him.
Can transfer such games and to life. For example, to ask children to clean toys and to appoint “director“, but you remember that “main“ - it does not mean the senior, that is and the younger child can sometimes operate the senior. Also pay attention here what to be “main thing“ is not only to order and operate, but also to bear responsibility.
the Fairy tale lie and in it a hint
the rules relating to the human relations and ethics of behavior help to Create fairy tales, to be exact, their analysis. From books the child learns that it is good and that it is bad. Having read the fairy tale, surely discuss with the baby which of heroes arrived well who - it is bad why they acted this way as it is necessary to behave in such situation. When the child learns to analyze acts of fantastic heroes, it will be easier for it to analyze the acts and to make the correct decision. Compare fairy tale characters to real people and the child.to
the Explanation for understandingto
of the Rule have to be accurately formulated and clear to the kid. It is impossible to throw out in one day on the child a heap of bans and restrictions. Many rules it is possible to dress in forms of verses and humourous catchphrases, for example, “When I eat, I am deaf and mute“. Such words, unlike strict bans, do not cause feeling of a protest and desire to make on the contrary in the child. But, repeating every time, they are postponed in consciousness of the child as incontestable truth.It is impossible for
, establishing rules, humiliating the kid. Phrases: “Immediately!“, “You heard what I told?“ “Quickly go here!“ - cause a protest and desire to go for the conflict in the child. Rules have to be said firmly, but not rudely. Even if the baby arrives badly, parents have to respect him.Establishing to
rules, surely explain them. Often, answering a question of the small child, we get off with phrases:“ So it is not necessary “, “ it is necessary to do so“, etc. the Child has to know why it is impossible and that will be if he suddenly breaks a parental ban. If the baby, without paying attention to your bans, climbs to the burning ring or tries to touch the switched-on iron, it is not necessary to strike it a bargain. Explain better if there is no result - allow it to touch once a “dangerous“ subject, naturally, under your supervision (a last resort to which it is, whenever possible, best of all not to resort).
Personal experience (especially unpleasant) often appears much more effective, than infinite parental hails and slaps in the face. Besides the probability is high that the child will decide to break your ban when nobody sees, and then it can terminate very sadly.
Try to use the word it “is impossible“ as seldom as possible, only when the ban concerns safety of the kid. The less often the word sounds it “is impossible“, the it is more effective. It is necessary to forbid that really it is impossible!Establishing
to the child of the rule, be unambiguous. It is impossible to recede from the established bans. It is often possible to observe a situation when parents, staying in good mood, allow the child everything on light, and next day for the same acts strike a bargain or stand in the corner. How to the child then to understand what can be done and what it is impossible? It concerns also other family members: if mother resolves, and the father of it does not allow to do, then it will be difficult for child to understand to whom to listen and whose rules to observe.
of the Rule exist in order that to break them
Certainly, following to rules should not turn into suppression of the personality. Rules exist not in order that from time to time to observe them and in order that sometimes to break them. Try not to go too far not to become hostages of the established rules. To the child who lives under strictly adopted laws in the future will difficult make independent decisions, he always lived by the rules established by someone.
Feeding, a dream and walks at the same time - it, of course, is good. But the kid has to understand that sometimes rules can be violated and nothing terrible will occur. For example, in the day off, the child can get up not in 7. 00, as usual, and in 8. 30. Only surely explain to the child that it is a single action in honor of day off, and tomorrow you will return to a daily routine, habitual for you, again.
Arriving only on a pointer of adults, it is very difficult to become the independent person therefore sometimes grant to the child an option. Since two years the baby can already choose that he wants to eat. But do not put a question point-blank: “You want to eat or not?“ If the child answers “no“, then you should or violate the established rules, agreeing with its decision, or to persuade the kid to eat. The child has to feel that he has the right to make independent decisions.
the Question has to sound so: “What will you eat for dinner - mashed potatoes or soup?“ Then, on the one hand, the child can choose, and, on the other hand, his answer anyway will be accepted for you - he will eat. In the same way the baby can choose where she and with whom it will walk what toy will take with itself on the street or what dress will put on. At the correct statement of a question it turns out that the child as if voluntarily makes the correct decision and on the other hand answers your question positively, but not a protest.
When the kid will a little grow up, he will be able to establish own rules, but already created personality able to be responsible for the acts will do it.