It is difficult to be the father. Part I
Warm summer evening. We from one-year-old Olechkaya walk in park near the house. From a distance I notice the husband`s figure going to us - he at last comes back from work.
- Olechka, look, the father all right! - I say to the daughter. - Olechka, where father?the Baby right there interrupts with
brisk fuss with a plastic bottle, raises the head and, looking around, tenderly murmurs “a pas - a pas“. Having seen the father, welcomes him joyful squeal.
- Hi, Olenenok! - Sasha picks up the daughter on hands and immediately throws in air. The baby joyfully laughs loudly.
- you Know, - I report. - You now not only husband, best in the world, but also father, best in the world!
- the Truth? - Sasha shines. - My small!
... Sunday morning. I take out the woken-up Olechka from a bed. That, popolzav several minutes on a floor, gets on our bed.
- Olechka, do not awake the father - the father sleeps! - I warn.
- Pa - a pas! - Olya repeats after me. Then she settles on a bed more conveniently, and, having nestled on Sashiny legs, attentively looks at it. I sit down too nearby.
“What dear, good husband at me, - I think once again. - And as to it all - from time to time hardly was necessary!“
the Birth of our family
We got acquainted when to both of us was on eighteen. Both are second-year students, studied, however, at different institutes and on different specialties. Five years of happy romantic meetings gradually led to making decision on a marriage. However, from the very beginning of our relations all is both our parents, and our friends - were sure that business will end with a wedding.I Remember
, in day of filing of application in the REGISTRY OFFICE we worried as if were going to take difficult responsible examination. Having finished necessary formalities, came to a threshold and with relief sighed.
- It business should be noted! - Sasha offered.
We went to the nearest cafe. Further - ridiculously to remember still - despite solemnity of a case, we not champagne ordered, and fifty grams of vodka (“to reduce stress“) and big pizza for two.
- Well for what we will drink? - my groom smiled.- Let`s drink
for that, - I offered. - that you were for me the husband, best in the world, and over time became also the father, best in the world, for our kid!...by
Still to me for some reason very much remembered morning after our wedding. I woke up early in spite of the fact that we walked till the dead of night. Looked round around. Our new apartment where we drove at once after a wedding banquet and spent the first marriage night where did not manage to bring order yet, to place up to the end furniture, to spread out things...“It is necessary to
, we will live here together, - I thought. - As it is strange! Even it feel ill at ease somehow becomes...“ .
- my little wife! - having woken up, Sasha gave a hand to embrace me.
- my beloved husband! - I responded. - Well that, we will get up?
- Aha, it is advisable to descend in a shower, only I have no clothes, except a wedding suit here.
- Ha - ha! - I cheered up. - On the new apartment it is necessary to prepare for moving thoroughly! It is necessary to go to a shower in a white wedding shirt now!
- And to eat we have something?
- It is hard to say. Unless eggs and butter. Well and which - what scraps from a wedding table. And what, you unless at restaurant did not gorge on yesterday?our family life So began
“And I am going to become a father!“the First months of joint life left to
at me vague, indistinct memoirs, most likely because were, perhaps, the most smooth and quiet. Only the fact that Sasha always late came home from work was remembered to me and often came to work during week-end, and I patiently waited for him with a hot dinner at home. It was pleasant to play a role of the wife to me very much.
Everything changed in one day.
- In my opinion, I am the pregnant woman... - perplexed I told the husband Saturday morning. - Look, - I showed it the test with two brightly - red strips.
- So same it is good! - it is pleased Sasha exclaimed.
- Anything good! - gloomy I responded.
- That is how it, anything good? We wanted!
- Yes the stomach hurts, an infection... The impression is such as if right now I will begin to give birth.
- What is with you? - Sasha was frightened. - Perhaps to the doctor it is necessary?
- To what doctor? - I hopelessly waved a hand. - Today Saturday, consultation does not work, and the doctor on duty will not begin to potter. And at all, the doctor on such term will see nothing yet, and it is not necessary to touch me now once again. I will lie down till Monday, and there it will be visible.
Unexpectedly Sasha turned away to a wall, and his shoulders began to shake.
- What is with you? - I became puzzled: practically never I saw that my husband cried.
Sasha raised eyes, wet from tears.
- And suddenly... suddenly you will die at the time of delivery? - he murmured. - What will I do then? I cannot live without you!
- the Fool, - I mildly answered.
- And if you have an abortion? - the husband continued to sob. - You so wanted the baby, you will not worry if you lose him! Or suddenly it is extra-uterine? Why you are hurt by a stomach?
- So, everything, will be enough, - I interrupted its sad monologue. - Calm down! Picked up clever words: abortion, extra-uterine... Will be all right both with me, and with our child, clearly?
- you Know, - I told Sasha later couple of days, after visit to the gynecologist. - I some time should lie down in hospital. Threat of an abortion.tried to tell
Ya quietly, but Sasha outright got a fright.
- As in hospital? What for? What is with you?
- Calm down, - I answered with deliberately vigorous voice. - You what, you do not know our doctors? Are eternally reinsured. I will lie down to steam of weeks, and everything will be as it should be.
- As it, calm down? My wife is put in hospital moreover with threat of an abortion!
- Well, you just like small! - I became angry. - Unless you do not know that now all pregnant women on preservation are put - for prevention? And in general, who whom has to calm - I you or you me?
the Last question was purely rhetorical. Of course, I wanted to get support from the husband. But Sasha much less me was informed in the problems connected with pregnancy and childbirth, and all events frightened him. Besides, he in general was afraid of doctors and hated hospitals.
my lying on preservation “for prevention“ dragged on in total for three months, and it became the first test for our young family. All this time I occupied with thoughts of “situation“, exhausted with severe toxicosis, infinite pricks, droppers and fear to lose the child not especially thought of what during this period is necessary my husband.to it it was just necessary to
A very hardly. Not only from - for the fact that we seldom saw each other (the hospital of visit was resolved only in strictly certain hours, and Sasha could only run to me for 15 - 20 minutes before work and occasionally, with the permission of doctors, to take away me home for the weekend), and he very much grieved without me. Not only because Sasha worried about our future child even stronger me as it was less informed, and the phrase “threat of an abortion“ sounded for it very frighteningly. Heaviest for the husband there were changes in my character accompanying so hard pregnancy.
- Here, brought to you to eat, - Sasha reported, having come to me, as usual, in the morning to hospital.
- I asked not to carry to me food! - I moaned, turning away.
- the Sun, it is necessary to eat though a little bit, - the husbandtenderly finished me
- I cannot...
- Well on though eat cookies.
at the sight of a package which Sasha got from a bag I immediately clamped a mouth a hand and directed lengthways along a corridor - towards a toilet.
- Again feels sick? - Sasha when I, pale, with the watering eyes, returned sighed. - Poor mine!
- How many times I said to you that I cannot even look at food - why you do not listen to me?!
- the Sun, understand, you have to eat - for the sake of our baby. Think of it!
- Yes leave alone you! - I with a force pushed away the husband. Then, having fallen by a shop, hid the face in hands and bitterly began to cry.
- Little mine! - Sasha fell near me and tenderly stroked on the head. - My little favourite wife...Gradually affairs were
on the mend, and discharged me from hospital, but on it difficulties did not end.
Probably, it would be more correct not “To call difficult to be this chapter the father“, and “It is difficult to be the husband of the pregnant woman“. But Sasha who is going to become the father entered in advance a course of those difficulties which were inevitably involved by change of its status, and patiently took down all my “pregnant“ whims and strangenesses.
To be fair should be noted, as he not always behaved as an angel. But if earlier I was quietly reconciled with shortcomings and weaknesses of the husband, then now I just could not react to them adequately. For example, Sasha`s desire in the day off to drink beer with friends was brought to the crime level (“You will leave the pregnant wife one at home?“ ), and reasonings on “It Is Advisable to Buy the Monitor, and That Old Is No Good, Especially, Serega Proapgreyditsya Long Ago“ (the husband at me - the inveterate programmer), were considered as the greatest blasphemy.
- Of what you in general think? - indignantly I shouted. - Ahead so many expenses are necessary, and you have one pieces of iron on mind! The Serega yours, by the way, is not married, here and fools about. It was necessary not to marry also to you, and to go with yours Seregoy on computer benches, to drink beer and to apgreyditsya in the pleasure!
Silly, of course, I behaved, it is impossible so - it is never impossible to provoke in the husband nostalgia on carefree barchelor life...with
In general all pregnancy I was constantly tormented by some disorders and fears. Especially at night. Closer to the third trimester I very badly slept at night, and in the head various fears climbed.
- Why it is not pushed? - I woke Sasha somehow at night.
- Of course, it is not pushed. The child sleeps. And you sleep, - Sasha drowsily answered.
- Yes as it sleeps? I always when I wake up at night, feel its movements!
the Little fool you my small, - Sasha applied an ear to my stomach. - Everything is all right with our dochechka. I hear how its heart fights.
Next time I woke up at night from nagging pains in a stomach.
- In my opinion, at me began fights, - I with emotion told Sasha. - Call an ambulance.
- Yes what fights, what ambulance? To you to give birth in two months! Sleep, give.
- You that, the fool! - I exploded. - You do not know what is premature birth?
It is natural, it was any not premature birth, and the next morning I was tormented by a remorse from - for the fact that I woke Sasha in the middle of night and did not allow it to sleep before work.
we bypassed and such disputable subject as presence of the husband on childbirth. Before pregnancy I though not especially represented that there is childbirth actually, but was for some reason sure that it is absolutely optional to husband to be present at this business. Sasha quite shared this point of view. But during pregnancy, is closer to childbirth, my opinion unexpectedly changed.
- Why you do not want to go with me for childbirth? - I tried to find out (as usual, the desire of a message “heart-to-heart talks“ appeared at me days at night).
- the Sun... well as if to explain to you, - Sasha drowsily justified himself, - you understand... well, I am afraid!of
- he Is afraid! And I, you think, I am not afraid? I awfully am afraid to give birth, understand! And you at such moment want to leave me one?
However, I not especially pressed on the husband. For me the defining factor was the fact that to our measures joint childbirth - expensive pleasure, and expenses were already coming not small. So I gave birth what I did not regret seconds about.
Morning on July 7 in the rodzal... Speak, the woman the first minutes after the birth of the child tests incomparable euphoria and inflow of happiness, and pain and the postponed sufferings right there recede. With me was differently - after the delivery I felt absolutely exhausted, broken morally and physically and some devastated. The deposit which remained from the rough and boorish address of medical staff was heavier than physical pain for me.
Somewhere in a headboard of my chair mobile cracked.- Forgive to
, you could not give me phone? - I addressed the midwife who was in the rodzal.
- I to you that, the waitress?! - that rose, but mobile all - gave.I Watch
at phone screen. HUSBAND SASHA. Aha, means already it is aware...
- Hi, the sun! - the voice of the husband sounded very with emotion. - How are you? As small?
- it is normal. I will call you later, - I reported and it was disconnected. To talk there were neither forces, nor desire.
After a while, having recovered and having found a speech power, I called back to Sasha.- Gave rise to
? - with emotion he asked. - without Caesarian?
- You will not believe, even almost without gaps.
- the Sun, I love you!
- I you too.our new life - life three together So began