Rus Articles Journal

Learn to understand the teenager of

Looking at modern teenagers, Mikhail Zhvanetsky`s statement is remembered:“ We should want only, and the youth will not be at all“. But in our demographic situation it not the best solution. So what teenagers today? What do they differ from us twenty years ago in? And how to find to them approach?

Information shock

One of the main differences of living conditions of the modern teenager - a huge flow of information which every second falls upon it. If earlier the school student could not sleep at night unless on the eve of New year, then now SMS - ki and e-mails overcome it round the clock. Add to it fashion on night clubs, entertainment centers, and it becomes clear from where at the teenager the increased irritability, excitability, difficulties of focusing undertake. Open access practically to any information allows world around to influence with all its realities the child bypassing the barriers established by parents. So, today`s teenager knows about human cruelty much more, than his parents knew. Movies, songs and even animated films are filled with fights and murders. The main character is not anxious with to rescue the beloved any more. As a rule, the average character looks for the villain just “to deal“ with him. At the same time searches are followed by plentiful offensive and prison language. Psychologists established long ago that any work of art affects the person via the identification mechanism - the person identifies himself with the main character and empathizes, doing it emotions and beliefs by the. Not necessarily most to make a mistake, it is possible to try on on himself acts of heroes. Many works of the modern art wash away borders between the good and evil. In the last 10 years from children`s reading works about war, revolution practically disappeared, without speaking about classical works. It is possible to discuss their ideological contents, but hardly anyone - that will argue with the fact that each book gave to the teenager a clear idea of vital values. Now the cost of the “correct“ books sharply increased also the most available in every sense there were detectives and a fantasy. The biography of authors of these works often sounds so:“ Graduated from machine-tool constructing technical school, worked in militia, then decided to become the writer “. Trend of modern times - the Internet. Some teenagers literally live in the virtual world, leaving “in real“, only to have a bite and have a sleep. The friendship, love and parting, music, cinema - all this the teenager receives in a network. As a result at many psychological dependence develops: without network life becomes empty and boring, and the teenager simply is not able to enter into the relations in real life.

What your style of communication with the child - the teenager? Poll on www. goodhouse. ru
  • I Try that my opinion was authoritative for the child - 20%
  • we Communicate as equals, I want to be the close friend to the child - 53%
  • Ya - mother - a brood hen. I try everywhere “to spread straws“ - 6%
  • I Consider that the teenager needs freedom maximum - 2%
  • I Bring up
  • the example - 4%
  • I Consider that to the teenager control - 14%
is necessary for

the Family and school

to

One more important factor - fragility of a modern family. Teenagers seldom live together with grandmothers, grandfathers, uncles and aunts. The tradition disappeared to maintain the relations with neighbors who could look after children sometimes. Fifteen years ago style of education could be characterized as strict. The child “from a good family“ surely played sports and public work. Now the level of requirements decreased: does not shirk school - and that is good. Sociologists note that now there are no conditions for real participation of teenagers in serious, socially significant affairs. Trees in parks are planted only on the eve of elections and for a small payment, elderly people, without having waited for the help of timurites, beg in transitions. As a result the most active teenagers go to the asocial movements and parties, passive - to sects, and the majority live with the sharp internal conflict and feeling of social uncertainty. Nevertheless, when comparing motives of activity of modern teenagers and their age-mates of the beginning 90 - x it turned out that they prefer individual performance of socially important issues, and trying to ego-trip in them, make more independent decisions. Choosing future profession, going to the universities, teenagers are guided by success more often, but not just by receiving “crust“. Though now it is accepted to abuse “consumption psychology“, the youth recognizes from what on everything can be earned. Whereas the era of deficiency pushed teenagers to fraud and theft.

Sex

of Modern teenagers affects by

an echo of the sexual revolution which came true in Russia. On the one hand, sexuality became an integral part of fashion and style and teenagers often identify sex with love, feel lagged behind life if kept virginity till 18 years. With another - all are perfectly informed on existence and purpose of contraceptives.

Statistics
  • of 4 of 10 teenagers live with one of parents, of them in 80% of cases there is no father.
  • In 2005 the number of the teenagers who committed crimes in an alcohol intoxication grew up twice in comparison with 1996
  • In the USA about 17% of parents buy to the children - teenagers contraceptives.
Therefore the number of undesirable pregnancies and abortions was considerably reduced by

. At the same time teenagers exist in sexual subculture: the music videos, glossy magazines convincing girls that without pink linen with pastes it is difficult for them to count on attention to the person. As a result the whole army of teenagers suffers from discrepancy of the physical parameters to what can be seen on the TV screen, dreams plastic surgeries, keeps to independently thought up diets. Some diets differ in special refinement: salad from young escapes of a bamboo with kefir, germinated grains of wheat and rice without salt, as a result - food becomes unbalanced. The youth 90 - x could not even imagine that it is possible to grow thin by means of a bamboo, to pump up lips gel, and to insert implants into buttocks. They quietly worried, squeezing out spots and enclosing vatu in bras. At many violations of so-called food behavior - anorexia and bulimia developed. These frustration meet at all times, but their prevalence strongly depends on the ideas of beauty existing in society. When Kate Moss was an ideal, the wave of teenage anorexia overflowed the whole world. Now in fashion a strong, sports figure therefore the situation improved a little. But prevalence of plastic surgeries led to the fact that teenage experiences do not leave with age, and are transferred to adulthood when the person, at last, has an opportunity to experiment with silicone and the surgeon`s knife.

of the Hobby of teenagers
If you have in a family a child of teenage age, to you, of course, will be reasonably useful to learn about of what teenagers are fond now and as spend free time.
  1. Fingerbord (fingerboard - “a board for fingers“) - a toy skateboard which “ride“ hands. This “sport“ is popular both with sixth-graders, and with first-year students. Even the championships on a fingerborda are held. Soks is the ball filled by a plastic filler in the diameter no more than 5 centimeters. Players throw a ball (as a rule, legs) and give it each other.
  2. the Flash - mob (with English flash mob - “instant crowd“) are short actions which essence in shocking people around and to laugh. Many people put on in clothes of one color, represent sculptures or in the agreed place at the same time read “Auditor“ Gogol.
  3. Parkour (from fr. parkour - “obstacle course“) - the occupation demanding excellent possession of the body. The people who are engaged in parkour are called treyser. They can climb at night on movie theater and remove from it the poster; can go between train cars in the Subway, holding hand-rail. In a word, thrill-seekers. At the same time all sorties are removed on a video camera.
  4. Give to drink - it is torsion of fires. The twister of fires - a poyster or a fayrvorker, a shell - sing. In hands of a poyster - two chains with the burning matches on the ends which he rotates around himself, leaving a flickering mark in air. It passes under music with use of ethnic tools - reels, flutes, bagpipes, jew`s harps.
  5. Bookcrossing - the movement based on the principle “read
  6. - give another“. The people who read books leave them in the subway, on shops, in cafe etc. Having registered on the website and having assigned to the book number, the owner leaves it on a look. Bookcrossers thus “release“ books, rescuing them from dusty shelves. The first owner of the book will receive letters on e - mail about into what hands it got as there it appeared.

Drugs

Fifteen years ago when were met in stores only vodka, port and several types of cigarettes, and sellers did not close an eye to early age of buyers, smoked and children from dysfunctional families took alcohol generally. Data of polls show that now by 17 years of 92% of school students are familiar with taste of alcohol, 78% tried to smoke, at 36% smoking became a habit, and 6% at least once used drugs. Among the reasons of mass distribution of cigarettes, alcohol and drugs there are their availability and lack of information on harm. If in each commercial it is said that without beer box the holiday is impossible how to note 16 - the anniversary in the boring, nonalcoholic atmosphere? The only way out - prevention of the use of what doctors call psychoactive agents (surfactant). Unfortunately, some parents prefer to postpone conversations about harm of similar substances until 13 - 14 years. But the age of young smokers decreased till 11 years and for two - three years are formed the true dependence. In the USA and Europe it is accepted to conduct surveys at schools to define the minimum age at which there are first tests surfactant. And prevention is begun a year earlier. Data of the Russian polls demonstrate that among sixth-graders of 6,5% tried to smoke, and 22% drank a little champagne for New year with the permission of parents. Many parents, assuming an opportunity that sometime their child everything is will smoke and take alcoholic drinks, explain to him that it can be done only to adults. It turns out that, in - the first, parents involuntarily program the child on active tests surfactant after 18 years, in - the second, there is a risk that the child, having felt quite adult in 15, will not want to wait for the age established by the legislation. The intimidating strategy too not always yields result. Even if the child believes in danger of death of alcohol and drugs, he sees that not all who drink, - alcoholics and those who smoke, not so often die of lung cancer. Such strategy forms installation on the fact that the incidental use surfactant does not do harm. Psychologists consider that the most effective strategy - so-called training in life skills. The child cannot be isolated from influence of people who use surfactant, but the teenager it is possible to teach to react correctly. The child needs to explain that those who do such offers pursue the aims, without being interested in consequences for his health at all. It concerns both advertizing, and casual acquaintances at a party. Adults should not submit thoughtlessly. Even parents can be mistaken therefore it is very important to make independent decisions. Some parents suggest the child to try alcohol that he learned its taste of the house, but not in a gate. Statistically, such children in the company of peers drink more, than others as they consider that they got for it permission of parents. Besides, it seems to them that they are able to handle alcohol, as a result overestimate the opportunities.

Statistics
Among ways of carrying out leisure at teenagers televiewings, on the second - listening of audio recordings, on the third - pastime with friends, viewing of movies and videos, on the fourth - use of the computer are on the first place, and reading books costs on the fifth place. The number of the teenagers preferring to read in free time from 1990 to 2000 decreased from 58% to 49%.
Fate - N - a beater

Fathers and children discussed

fashionable music at all times. The great-great-grandfathers loving waltzes abused great-grandfathers for harmful addiction to a tango. At the beginning of 90 - x to us the western music began to get into the country freely, there was a set of domestic groups which sang that they wanted and as wanted. Teenagers were not legible and omnivorous. Very few people were not affected by the hysteria connected with “Tender May“ and “Technology“. Today`s teenager is choosier: to it high quality of a sound, the memorable words, image of the singer are important. There was much less aggressive a fate - the groups broadcasting any ideology which push teenagers on violence, the use of drugs and suicide. Forms of musical fanaticism became softer: now it is necessary to surprise very strongly public to force it to write letters in love and to spend the night at an entrance of an idol.

Mother - the girlfriend? Whether it is necessary to hold a distance

As it is correct to bring up the daughter? What it is better for it - to be the girlfriend or to keep a respectful distance? The editor of “Home“ Maria Stoyanovskaya imparts own experience.

Maria: I was brought up quite strictly for the time being, I was rather afraid of parents. And not only in the childhood - still I remember horror which I tested when mother found at me - 16 - the summer girl - a cigarette in a taynichka. As it is ridiculous, it was arranged among old toys... And trials on this occasion strongly injured me though I then did not smoke even, it was rather an overindulgence, desire to povypendrivatsya before friends, maybe, therefore I tried to build up the relationship with the daughter as often and happens, completely exactly the opposite. And somewhere was even overzealous - extremes are bad in this thin business. Probably, it is an overdue protest against parental dictatorship in the childhood. I was considered and consulted on Dasha exactly since then when she could take full part in dialogue. Even such trifles what to prepare for breakfast 2 - the summer girl, were discussed as equals. I considered correct to take an interest that she wants to eat - porridge or an omelet, but not to speak;“ You eat what is given“ What she prefers to put on - trousers or a dress? Though even more often there came the moments when my liberal education came across reefs of severe reality. When it was necessary to insist on the because I precisely knew: it is necessary to put on more warmly (she often was ill), it is necessary to do homework, but not to play, it is necessary to go to bed though on TV there is an interesting movie. Then the conflicts began. Over time I understand sense of a saying “Little children more and more sharply - small bedka“ because than the girl became more senior, especially an independent and SEPARATE being it became. And I as it is sad, realized: yes, such is life and it it is necessary to take for granted - the baby who once was part me, absolutely mine, every year gradually stood apart, it had the life, the interests, independent of me. As the uncle Fedor from Prostokvashino spoke:“ I am anybody`s boy, I am in an itself, own boy“. Also there is a wish to help, to direct, warn, but my voice only consultative, I can only advise. Both mother, and even the best friend went on; “How it you allow it?“ And I was perplexed: as it is possible to forbid to meet to the person in 16 years the boy if abouton considers that it is in love madly? Or to go to meet New year with schoolmates instead of staying at home with mother and the grandmother? And what for? to inspire that it is its DEBT? The main thing for me - her good will, here that is worth a lot. The same occurred and with the choice of institute and faculty - for me all once solved, I granted it an option, God forbid sometime to hear from the child that you to it spoiled life the fact that forced to choose not that profession. Most of all I was afraid to lose her trust, and, in my opinion, I managed to keep it. She knows; I always on its party. And it is huge plus! But there is also minus: as in a family equality, minutes of my weakness Dasha should take reins of “board“ in hand, it is forced to support me, and shoulders at it not such strong yet. So we periodically also change - it asks for help, I dare to complain. But, maybe, it and is quite good?

Dasha: we in a family have no conflicts of generations. My mother - the person understanding and modern in spite of the fact that grew in Soviet period. She unlike many parents is not conservative at all, understands youth fashion, literature and music. I always listen to its councils even if I argue and I do not give a sign that she convinced me, her opinion is extremely important for me. And still the fact that I can be with it absolutely frank is important, I know that she will always understand me. However, now I understand that I lacked a firm hand a little, maybe, sometimes and mother should be more imperious. She, of course, spoiled me a little. And still it seems to me that mother has to be slightly on a pedestal, slightly mysterious, - and her authority then will be implicit. But we with mother - the closest girlfriends, and many friends envy me because I can entrust her any secret and it will always support me.