How to me to be? Or One-way love of
Ya I want to ask council as to me to be. The matter is that I am tormented by one-way love, and it is actually such serious sincere illness, as will not wish to the enemy. If it is interesting, read further.my one-way love call
Olga, it is one year younger than me (it 23, and me 24). I live, as well as it, in the small provincial town. At one time we studied at one school, I then still a teenager was, noticed Olya, she studied a class more young, was such small, tiny, on heels. I then did not see the guys curling around it (as however, I do not see army of boyfriends and now). And on discos she did not like to go (she does not love various clubs, bars, parties and other concourses at all) that, actually, is not peculiar for such tender age. But not in it business.I will not tell
that then (and now) it was stunning for a male, but its diminutiveness, the thin gentle voice and expressive eyes could dement. I had no feeling of the first love for it and was not personally familiar with it then (then I was tormented by the first love to the schoolmate), but it to me was remembered.
our class was disbanded Then (so it turned out - reform at school), I left to study the last two years in parallel school (Olya so at the school also studied), then five years of internal study at institute in other city, year of service in army later. Generally, Olya from memory was erased (I will repeat, personally I all that time was not familiar with it, - a surname did not know a name, studied in other city, etc.).
However after army (it was two years ago, summer of 2004) I was forced to arrive for permanent residence to the town though planned to go to other big city. Got a job. Then the small business connected with the wood was engaged in individual business activity. In our northern regions it is very actual today and can at successful promotion bring in good incomes.
On work I was forced to go to our local office of commercial bank then. Once in cash desk I saw Olya. Olya worked as the cashier temporarily, she replaced the sick cashier, and so in that bank the accountant (the beginner, is a little years to it still, only after institute). At me in a brain memoirs - and where I could see this girl flashed? Then remembered - this girl studied at one school with me, only year is younger.Then it was already necessary to be crossed by
somehow on work with it a little, she to our firm needed to make some papers, we were thrown by couple of phrases according to these documents, and probably she remembered me. Moreover, she often by our firm went to work (no young people by cars for work gave a ride her), suddenly began to greet me (she is in general a friendly girl, gentle disposition also very much does not love the conflicts, scandals), and on formal terms, it amused me, we are almost age-mates.Once after work I it met
in shop by chance (the town, I will repeat, at us small, you go down the street, constantly acquaintances come across, it is in the order of things). She smiled to me, and this smile struck me on the spot. I began to think constantly of it, then understood that it is love. Thought where - nibud incidentally I will closer get acquainted with it, but it did not appear anywhere - in bars, restaurants, in the evening on the street. It could be seen only at work and that is casual - in accounts department of bank the entrance is prohibited to strangers.
Then already I inquired, learned, what is her name, where lives. Last fall, having understood that the case hardly with it will bring together me, I decided to arrive to it home (she still lives with parents) and to say directly to it about the feelings. I as - a todazha also did not suspect that she will agree with me to meet, it was just important to me to see how it will treat such situation - on a threshold of her house some guy with flowers appears, makes a declaration of love...
Frankly speaking, I then thought only of it. Thought - she anyway learns about my feelings, and it will be already easier for me, and there come what may. Very much was afraid of the answer in style:“ Sorry, but I already have a young man“. I precisely knew that Olya is not married - the wedding ring on her was not and lives with parents.
that last year`s October evening (there was Saturday) I also arrived to her house (she with parents lives in the house: small such, but compact and cozy lodge on the suburb of the city), but not in the apartment. I since 2004 live separately from parents. Then went by an old shesterochka. Thought, there will be her parents what I will tell them (that it was necessary to tell - alone, you understand)? But I then was lucky, Olya herself left - in a dressing gown, with a towel on the head, only after a bath. I told it about the love to it. It is necessary to tell, it did not make big impression (I expected much more effect) on it, it took an interest as my name is and from where I know her name and the address. I answered that in our small town it is simple to learn it.She began to call
me on a visit at once (it is unfamiliar - that the person!!!), I then referred to employment, agreed the next evening (Sundays). She and answered my treasured question:“ No, I have no young man“. At me then the stone from soul fell...
the next evening in the appointed hour I arrived to them. Olya met me already dressed up, not in a dressing gown (as I learned then, she had very much complex that I then in the first day was at them, and it in one dressing gown). At once suggested to take a walk. I handed it flowers, agreed. She surprised me, having declared that she thought that I already also will not arrive. As I could not arrive when the whole day and thought only of this meeting, only hour ironed a shirt and trousers.
generally, we walked hour two. On my offer to reduce it where - nibud to sit she refused, having told that she does not like to visit similar institutions and actions. In general she is a terrible stay-at-home. We with it then went on the evening city, talked, she was a girl sentimental (Cancer on a horoscope), even slightly naive, but with very soft, appeasable, but in soul stubborn character. I think also now - most likely, it by 23 years hardly whom met, without saying about oversleeping with someone... I and one-woman man on character.
At the same time she seriously treated the work, told how she after school could not on internal enter the institute and then was learned in absentia (when came to sessions - stopped at relatives but not in drunk hostels of institutes), just together with the internal peers. It was visible that career in her life takes not the last place, during too time she paid much attention to a family, was upset that was the only child in a family and would like to nurse now with the child.In general she was
the girl who is slightly discharged of life - is very sentimental, to tears somehow was upset when she saw how some healthy man walked the sheep-dog and for some fault began to kick it, that squealed... She told that she hates drinking, the smoking and using foul language guys, even houses if the father sometimes dares to swear a mat, condemns him. I do not smoke, I do not drink, I use foul language only in a certain narrow circle. It was pleasant to it, it was visible that the manners and behavior I to it to liking. Then we sat at her place, she showed the room to me, got acquainted with parents, to tea drank. It seems as I was pleasant to her parents too...
Then in the evening I left from them the happiest person in the world - thought, everything, now we will meet Olya and where - nibud in a week I will suggest it to marry - such wife as Olya now worth its weight in gold and not to find now such. But it turned out that this meeting was the first and the last at the same time.Next day we phoned with
, she told that she at work was strongly tired (Monday was, and in banks there is a lot of paper work now, Olya often after the working day remains). I did not begin to insist on a meeting, and still every other day it told that we should not meet. Then already I called her, we long talked, she says that she very much would like to fall in love with me, but to heart to order to love it is impossible. Though I was pleasant to it - I do not drink, I do not smoke, appeasable character, is purposeful, (then I already left from firm and began the business), but fall in love with me cannot order to heart, and love for it it is very serious.
Ya long then pondered over various options - that could be actually in her soul, it seems as, in her heart in the beginning something lit up, then sharply died away - can, at work about me that bad she was told (everyone can be), or, maybe, with me it became boring for it (hardly), or even, maybe, she in the 23 is not able to behave with guys. Or purely externally I was not pleasant (but I, it seems, not the freak - growth normal, without visible shortcomings, not thick, the reaction which is not slowed down...) .madly it I love
Ya though it too not stunning sex - a bomb, it small, tiny, with long hair and deep eyes, generally, thin nice-looking and a thin gentle voice...
Ya then called it on all holidays - New year, for March 8 with flowers arrived to it - but it did not please it at all, it on the contrary told that I did not give gifts to it any more, “to it it is awkward that she cannot reciprocate my feelings“. That I love it, she remembers and knows.
How now to be, I do not know. I love Olya, I do not want and to meet other girls. It is impossible to forget it too and there is no wish in any way. As with it to enter into the relations, there are no thoughts. If where on the street I meet, greets and looks away, tries not to catch sight to me (I see it). To me it as a knife on heart.
I, it seems, anybody does not meet there lives only the house - work, does not go anywhere, in the evening on the street to meet her is unreal. To have such wife, I think, the dream of each man - is beautiful (but it is not stunning), is clever, educated, loves children and a family, good appeasable character. If when marries, then her husband can only envy. Only as I - that will worry, I do not know.
the annoying will be if marries some goat, and he will drink, walk then, further to beat and will throw with children or itself will die from fake vodka.I it, of course, do not wish
to Olya at all, let it will be happy, but in our province of such scenarios of family life is full. I do not drink at all, I do not smoke, not the rowdy, could never fool around (I despise those married men who secretly from wives walk), began to be engaged in business which - what progress is (a month ago on ten changed from a shesterochka), would spend all money only for a family...Prompt
how to me to be what to do? At heart at me such cats scrape now...
Thank you that read up up to the end.