Unloved work. What to us prevents to work with pleasure?
Why so many people continue to stay full time at unloved work? Salary? Collective? Habit? Or perhaps it is not to work, and in once incorrectly chosen profession? Anyway, it is necessary to work!
the Fifth column
you Will think, work is not pleasant! But the salary is. And it is difficult to find another. And in general, work happens or highly paid, prestigious, or darling. And it is valid whether so unloved work is bad, and really it it is so destructive affects people?
What unloved means? It when the person has from the activity no satisfaction neither in the form of money, nor in the form of social recognition, and the level of its self-assessment not only does not grow, and, on the contrary, falls. And therefore what we did at unloved work, everything causes in us an internal protest and rejection. The firm has new plans? Yes it is just whims of the administration and new cares on our head! Everything is familiar for a long time and it is easy, so continuous routine. Any action at such work demands the doubled efforts - for a start it is necessary to overcome itself. Remember, perhaps, you had to do something unpleasant, what you would not begin to do under other circumstances. And what, was easy? For certain in the beginning it was necessary to persuade himself, to give to itself weighty arguments. What is called, to increase motivation. And when we do favorite thing, say, of a hobby? Time flies imperceptibly, in general it is not necessary to apply efforts, all as if by itself turns out. Noticed a difference? And most important. If the person even if it is imperceptible for itself, wastes so many efforts to habitual work, to the developed relations in the company, what he receives at the end of the day, except fatigue and the collected irritation? You guess? And with these “labor“ achievements it comes home. At best, just immensely tired, but if here to add freight of the negative and not expressed emotions - in office you will not always swear, you will not tell everything that you think, you will not express what you feel... But at home it is possible to relax, having shouted, for example, at members of household. Actually, and occurs. The negative energy which is saved up in a day not constrained by a framework of decencies - it is possible to behave somehow at home - it is splashed out on the closest to us people in the most insignificant occasion. But not the best exit also to behave by the principle “I carry all the with myself“ when emotions, experiences remain unexpressed, are dug in more deeply for such “weighty“ reason as “there is no wish to bear garbage home“. This principle is given more often preference of the man, and women as beings more emotional, try to splash out all negative outside. But, anyway, all suffer - both “heroes“, and their immediate environment of the house and at work.
on the other hand to leave unloved work very difficult, having got on it a resistant inferiority complex. How it is possible to find new work, to convince other employer of the qualification if you do not appreciate yourself, you do not consider worthy the better life? Unloved work tightens, only not as a hobby - passion, interest, creativity and as a bog - routine and a hopelessness. The longer you work at unloved work, the it is more difficult to replace it. Such situation is absolutely unprofitable to the employer too. What there a creative or enthusiasm even if it is difficult for simple conscientiousness to achieve from the employee anxious only that, as if to leave home somewhat quicker or to get rid of the next assignment? And how such person can communicate with clients? Most likely, in the spirit of “you there is a lot of here, and I am one!“ . A conclusion is unfavourable: unloved work is not necessary to anybody, either the worker, or his management, or the immediate environment.
So, eternal question: what to do?
in search of love
It is medicine it is released without recipe, any will tell you: or change work, or the attitude towards her. Only about the instruction for application forget all the time. And if with council we agree to change work still somehow, allowing thought that, in principle, at confluence of improbable circumstances new work can be found, but here is how to change the attitude towards her? It such tiresome, stupid and low-paid! “To me what, to rejoice to this beggarly salary?“ - typical reaction to the offer to change the relation to work.
People in essence are big conservatives even if they are thorough revolutionaries. In all manifestations of the activity the majority of us uses the same scheme of behavior that psychologists call vital strategy. Both at choice of profession, and at the choice of friends, and even at the choice of the partner in life. Moreover, often we use in general one strategy on … all of us. Look how the description of the ideal girlfriend sounds in lips of young people? Or as girls formulate signs of “the prince on a white horse“. At the end of any definition and with that, and on the other hand the summary becomes - “heart will prompt“. And here first divorce, the second, third. And heart everything lies and lies. Let`s consider definition of ideal work. It, generally keeps within three words: interesting, prestigious, highly paid. The same strategy is used - “heart will prompt“. And same result: if there are enough forces to leave work which brought only disappointment then seldom it is possible to find something essentially new, and the following disappointments - only a matter of time. It becomes clear that new work a little in what differs from previous. The only thing that holds in such cases from “divorce“ with it, so is need to have means of livelihood.It would be ridiculous
if it was not so sad. And in the relations with spouses, and in the relation with work the same extremes are often observed: one get divorced (change work) only because the spouse salted insufficiently soup (the chief shouted, did not invite to a corporate party, gave old furniture), others live for many years nearby, one may say, with the monster - beats, drinks, does not give money (5 years without increase, half a year without salary) and patiently all take down - poorish, but the! These are, of course, extremes, but they are so popular in the relations with “unloved“. In one case we lack either determination, or patience, and in all - understanding, first of all, ourselves. And simple desire to agree, find if not a compromise then comfort borders in the relations. Try to stop, make two - three, it is better - five deep and slow breaths and to let itself think why work does not satisfy you? What in it bad, to be exact - what lacks it to an ideal? Perhaps also you should not get divorced “from - for soup“? Or to wait for the certificate of honor for “40 years of a high-powered work in the conditions which are brought closer to fighting“?can be
A, it is simple reconsider strategy of search of ideal work? There are people whom a question: Whether “There is a favourite work?“ nonpluses. “And unless there is another?“ - they are perplexed.by
Make effort, try differently, than before, to approach both definition, and search of favourite work. It will not be pleasant - you will be able always to return to former strategy.
- of Place. Look around. Whether accept you the place where you work? District of the city, building, room and actually workplace? What words you would call everything together and everyone separately? Cold find fault - flew or a cozy house nest? And how your workplace is arranged? Perhaps it is worth moving a table, to turn it or to isolate from the others? What objects surround you? The tables and cases or the jungle from houseplants which are filled up with papers? When you define for yourself an ideal environment, make a note on the future. For example: work has to be in 100 meters from the Kremlin or in 10 - from the house. It is better to put a table at a window … or in a separate office. And in general, it would be exciting to clean all papers from eyes. And the most important - and what already now you can make to bring closer the existing reality to an ideal? Perhaps, for this purpose there will be enough conversation with the chief concerning a window seat and 20 minutes for dismantling of papers?
- Behaviour. As you reach work? Sometimes better on “a bucket with nuts“ for half an hour to reach work, than to choke an hour and a half in the subway. Or perhaps and vice versa, traffic jams take away much more time and nerves, than underground transport. And what you do on the workplace? What your activity in the morning, in the afternoon and differs in the evening in? And even after work, the house. Whether everything enters a circle of your duties, responsibility? And how often you observe, or perhaps and participate in the conflicts? You are in business trips - much or a little? And what you really would like to do? Of course, leave extremes from the series “lie in a chaise lounge under a palm tree“ for definition of ideal rest. Write down the following items in the list of characteristics of your dream better: to go no more than 40 minutes, business trips - no more than 10% of time … or not less than 60, the working day strictly with 9 to 18 … or the free schedule. It is useful in the future, but already now something it is possible to change, take a step to implementation of the plans. In - the first to refuse not the duties. Then to make effort and buy a little the car. The following step - instead of regular smoke breaks - to organize relaxation sessions. It is possible to add couple of ten-minute breaks for reduction of to norm. And, having come home, to allocate minutes 15 to have a rest from working turmoil and already really to return to the relatives. Who knows, maybe, it will appear enough that work began to bring to you besides a salary also pleasure?
- of Ability. it is interesting whether everything your abilities are considered, realized at current work? What do you have it that is not demanded yet, than you could not only be proud, but also use for the benefit of common cause? Someone from your environment knows about it? It is time to leave an underground! Or perhaps you overestimate yourself a little? Work demands from you excessive activity or impenetrable assiduity? And if to try to create the correct balance between your abilities and duties? And not in the future, and right now. You are active - undertake part of the work performed by your colleagues that for certain will positively affect your reputation. If you need more time for thoughtful activity - find to yourself active assistants and stipulate the period when you are absent for anybody - you work! And of course, solve for yourself on the future that is your ideal - activity or assiduity, a rough creative or pedantic execution, the relations with people or with objects. Also look around, can behind a wall or even at the next table and there is a place of the best application of your abilities. If you are sure of it, try to convince the management of advantage of your transfer to other place.
- of Belief. Beliefs is our vital base. They seldom change and are not even always realized, but are always the cornerstone of the heaviest conflicts. A widespread case - a contradiction between the moral values cultivated in the company, and yours regardless of that, good they or not. Or, for example, you think that to you all the same, you work only from - for money and do not think at all of the fact that your work is useless and does not bring any benefit, and activity of the company does not do the world better. Actually, if there is a contradiction between your moral values and surrounding reality, process of accumulation of disappointment with work and itself which can even turn into a slow depression (its most severe form) begins. our beliefs help
I or, on the contrary, prevent to make a choice - to remain at such work or to find new, more worthy. If you realized what the current situation of things you does not arrange that it holds you? Inertia? Again - beliefs. We prove to ourselves that we are unworthy bigger, the best work which is found only by people with communications or with some “unattractive“ qualities. We are afraid to make even attempt - and suddenly it will not turn out?
But all - with own beliefs is possible and it is necessary to work. Independently, though it difficult and long, or by means of the expert. If you consider that you will cope - dare. The famous statements help long ago:“ I am worthy good work “, “ work is worthy me“, etc. You tell them in the morning and in the evening, in good and in bad mood. Also listen to yourself how these words respond in you? Perhaps, you will even hear objections. Whose it is voices - mothers or fathers as what words they speak? And what personally you think about it? Hear own voice!
- Personality. you sometime reflected whom you are at work? Sometimes it slips in your own words: “What I to them, errand girl?“ or “Found extreme!“ . And it is valid - who you are in your company? Not the chief accountant or the programmer, the speech not about a profession or functional duties, and about feeling. What your role? Perhaps you the soul of the company, and can - a general vest for tears invisible to the world? Emotional leader or gray cardinal? High quality expert or fast sincere help? Whether accept you a present role? If is not present - that whom you would like to be? And what qualities are necessary for you for that role which would suit you? Define them for yourself and be engaged in their development on various trainings or ask for the help the psychologist.
- Mission. Difficult question: “Why I here?“ . If you are not able to decide on the answer, play the game “secret successor“. Present that you and only you know that you shortly for some reasons will become the only and full owner of your company. Let`s tell, in a year or two. And you have an opportunity to look at work of the company from within with eyes of future owner. Dare to play this game, without informing anybody. Such approach, at least, will help to change a view of your place and of the company. Or perhaps it will also be pleasant to you, and you will make for yourself unexpected discoveries.
the Song about the main thing
Everything told above belongs to the place of work - to a desktop or to the company in general. And if you do not accept the main thing - an occupation? Both the company fine, and a salary decent, but not your it - to count taxable base or to impose Saturday number. In this case it becomes boring for the person and even in burden to be engaged in the work. He is not pleased by own progress, and even the prospect of change of the place of work on more attractive does not heat. Often so it happens that, having left in general, the quite good place, the person cannot long settle on another, similar. And a problem not that it is difficult to find work, and that he does not want to be engaged any more in business to which so many efforts and time were directed.are diverse
of the Reason of loss of interest in the chosen kind of activity. In one case people just grow up from the profession or from the relations accepted in it. And then high quality experts become freelancers - people of liberal professions. Traditionally carried humanists to them, but now among freelancers the big percent of economists, lawyers, workers of the sphere of tourism is observed. Sometimes such people go to business in the sphere familiar to them. A saying “understood life - gave up work“ - just about it. Such transition happens easily and without assistance. Of course, for acceptance of a final decision the help of the expert - the psychologist can sometimes be required.
Other reason - not “the“ profession. The conflict is formed in youth, during the choice of educational institution or the first place of work. As usual there is a choice of future profession? It can be a family dynasty - the most often found case. Whether such option suits the child or not, but literally impose it a profession of parents. Of course, on the one hand, it is convenient to carry on family traditions: the familiar environment, well established professional relations, thoroughly studied features of future specialty, vozmthe ozhny help of parents and direct patronage for receiving a prestigious workplace. And if the psychotype of the child is suitable for the profession chosen thus, then in the future the successor of a dynasty can be engaged in the chosen business with pleasure and, as a result, with great success. But what to do if the born actor grows in a family of the lawyer? In other cases parents do children by hostages of own ambitions. “I did not manage, so you will make!“ And here children “work“ debts of parents. In practice of psychologists the huge place is taken by music schools as a childhood nightmare - parents so wanted, but did not become outstanding musicians! Other version of the choice of profession imposed by parents is their own idea of an ideal. “I know better, than to you to be engaged!“ And here children in practice embody ideas of parents of ideal work. As to you such parental argument in favor of the same music school: you will always find work near the house! And, at last, the most widespread wrong option of choice of profession - casual. Friends called, institute near the house, fashion on a profession in a year of receipt - it is unimportant. The main thing that in this case neither abilities, nor bents of the person are considered. And sooner or later there comes the conflict between the personality and the chosen occupation.
If you have such case, then the first that it is necessary to make, - “to kill hope“. The hope that everything is formed and a salary good forces people to go down stream passively. But in that case the result can be at all not such for which you hoped. >
If for you it is important to p to make independent decisions - act! The most interesting that all who ventured change of a profession in new, as a rule, reach considerable heights, probably, in an award for courage. And it is absolutely unimportant how you gave many years to a former kind of activity, and what is the time remained to pension. In practice people successfully change an occupation even after 60!
So what actually should be done in case you understood that current not your business and to you it is just necessary to replace it? Of course, as always, the ideal decision - to ask for the help the psychologist. At the choice of the expert it is useful to be guided by opinion of those who else are not 35 years old. This generation grew without the prejudiced relation to psychological consultation and already has the circle of familiar professionals. Change of a profession - process especially individual and here is not present universal recipes. If you for any reasons are not ready to the help of the psychologist, begin with the fact that ask yourself a question - what you liked to do in youth? What do you do with pleasure and now? Interrogate your acquaintances, friends that they think of your abilities. Often from outside our tendencies which are not obvious to ourselves are better visible. For example, you by job search forgot to mention that you are fluent in French - just never thought of such way of earning money. Visit of jobcenter, at least is also useful to pass test for detection of tendencies and abilities. One more step - expand the circle of contacts. You go to trainings of personal growth, to retraining courses. You can, without changing work, to replace habitat. In language of psychologists it is called “extension of the world map“. At communication with people of different professions you have an opportunity to get acquainted with other views of your task, with new thoughts and reasons. Sometimes the day off spent on training can become a push to understanding of the task, to adoption of significant decisions.
As are told by psychologists, “to have the happy childhood never late“. It fully belongs also to the choice of favourite work. Just stop to treat yourself as to the member of a caste of accountants - programmers - lawyers. You there nobody wrote down, lifelong hiring never practiced in our country. Also allow themselves to take a step from a habitual route of life, allow as in an instructive joke, “to buy the lottery ticket“. Let you will also not win one million, but can receive much more who knows. Dare to make so that work brought you pleasure and became business of your life. And it costs much more than one million.