Rus Articles Journal

Unloved work. What to us prevents to work with pleasure?

Why so many people continue to stay full time at unloved work? Salary? Collective? Habit? Or perhaps it is not to work, and in once incorrectly chosen profession? Anyway, it is necessary to work!

the Fifth column

you Will think, work is not pleasant! But the salary is. And it is difficult to find another. And in general, work happens or highly paid, prestigious, or darling. And it is valid whether so unloved work is bad, and really it it is so destructive affects people?

What unloved means? It when the person has from the activity no satisfaction neither in the form of money, nor in the form of social recognition, and the level of its self-assessment not only does not grow, and, on the contrary, falls. And therefore what we did at unloved work, everything causes in us an internal protest and rejection. The firm has new plans? Yes it is just whims of the administration and new cares on our head! Everything is familiar for a long time and it is easy, so continuous routine. Any action at such work demands the doubled efforts - for a start it is necessary to overcome itself. Remember, perhaps, you had to do something unpleasant, what you would not begin to do under other circumstances. And what, was easy? For certain in the beginning it was necessary to persuade himself, to give to itself weighty arguments. What is called, to increase motivation. And when we do favorite thing, say, of a hobby? Time flies imperceptibly, in general it is not necessary to apply efforts, all as if by itself turns out. Noticed a difference? And most important. If the person even if it is imperceptible for itself, wastes so many efforts to habitual work, to the developed relations in the company, what he receives at the end of the day, except fatigue and the collected irritation? You guess? And with these “labor“ achievements it comes home. At best, just immensely tired, but if here to add freight of the negative and not expressed emotions - in office you will not always swear, you will not tell everything that you think, you will not express what you feel... But at home it is possible to relax, having shouted, for example, at members of household. Actually, and occurs. The negative energy which is saved up in a day not constrained by a framework of decencies - it is possible to behave somehow at home - it is splashed out on the closest to us people in the most insignificant occasion. But not the best exit also to behave by the principle “I carry all the with myself“ when emotions, experiences remain unexpressed, are dug in more deeply for such “weighty“ reason as “there is no wish to bear garbage home“. This principle is given more often preference of the man, and women as beings more emotional, try to splash out all negative outside. But, anyway, all suffer - both “heroes“, and their immediate environment of the house and at work.

on the other hand to leave unloved work very difficult, having got on it a resistant inferiority complex. How it is possible to find new work, to convince other employer of the qualification if you do not appreciate yourself, you do not consider worthy the better life? Unloved work tightens, only not as a hobby - passion, interest, creativity and as a bog - routine and a hopelessness. The longer you work at unloved work, the it is more difficult to replace it. Such situation is absolutely unprofitable to the employer too. What there a creative or enthusiasm even if it is difficult for simple conscientiousness to achieve from the employee anxious only that, as if to leave home somewhat quicker or to get rid of the next assignment? And how such person can communicate with clients? Most likely, in the spirit of “you there is a lot of here, and I am one!“ . A conclusion is unfavourable: unloved work is not necessary to anybody, either the worker, or his management, or the immediate environment.

So, eternal question: what to do?

in search of love

It is medicine it is released without recipe, any will tell you: or change work, or the attitude towards her. Only about the instruction for application forget all the time. And if with council we agree to change work still somehow, allowing thought that, in principle, at confluence of improbable circumstances new work can be found, but here is how to change the attitude towards her? It such tiresome, stupid and low-paid! “To me what, to rejoice to this beggarly salary?“ - typical reaction to the offer to change the relation to work.

People in essence are big conservatives even if they are thorough revolutionaries. In all manifestations of the activity the majority of us uses the same scheme of behavior that psychologists call vital strategy. Both at choice of profession, and at the choice of friends, and even at the choice of the partner in life. Moreover, often we use in general one strategy on … all of us. Look how the description of the ideal girlfriend sounds in lips of young people? Or as girls formulate signs of “the prince on a white horse“. At the end of any definition and with that, and on the other hand the summary becomes - “heart will prompt“. And here first divorce, the second, third. And heart everything lies and lies. Let`s consider definition of ideal work. It, generally keeps within three words: interesting, prestigious, highly paid. The same strategy is used - “heart will prompt“. And same result: if there are enough forces to leave work which brought only disappointment then seldom it is possible to find something essentially new, and the following disappointments - only a matter of time. It becomes clear that new work a little in what differs from previous. The only thing that holds in such cases from “divorce“ with it, so is need to have means of livelihood.

It would be ridiculous

if it was not so sad. And in the relations with spouses, and in the relation with work the same extremes are often observed: one get divorced (change work) only because the spouse salted insufficiently soup (the chief shouted, did not invite to a corporate party, gave old furniture), others live for many years nearby, one may say, with the monster - beats, drinks, does not give money (5 years without increase, half a year without salary) and patiently all take down - poorish, but the! These are, of course, extremes, but they are so popular in the relations with “unloved“. In one case we lack either determination, or patience, and in all - understanding, first of all, ourselves. And simple desire to agree, find if not a compromise then comfort borders in the relations. Try to stop, make two - three, it is better - five deep and slow breaths and to let itself think why work does not satisfy you? What in it bad, to be exact - what lacks it to an ideal? Perhaps also you should not get divorced “from - for soup“? Or to wait for the certificate of honor for “40 years of a high-powered work in the conditions which are brought closer to fighting“?

can be

A, it is simple reconsider strategy of search of ideal work? There are people whom a question: Whether “There is a favourite work?“ nonpluses. “And unless there is another?“ - they are perplexed.


New strategy

Make effort, try differently, than before, to approach both definition, and search of favourite work. It will not be pleasant - you will be able always to return to former strategy.

the Song about the main thing

Everything told above belongs to the place of work - to a desktop or to the company in general. And if you do not accept the main thing - an occupation? Both the company fine, and a salary decent, but not your it - to count taxable base or to impose Saturday number. In this case it becomes boring for the person and even in burden to be engaged in the work. He is not pleased by own progress, and even the prospect of change of the place of work on more attractive does not heat. Often so it happens that, having left in general, the quite good place, the person cannot long settle on another, similar. And a problem not that it is difficult to find work, and that he does not want to be engaged any more in business to which so many efforts and time were directed.

are diverse

of the Reason of loss of interest in the chosen kind of activity. In one case people just grow up from the profession or from the relations accepted in it. And then high quality experts become freelancers - people of liberal professions. Traditionally carried humanists to them, but now among freelancers the big percent of economists, lawyers, workers of the sphere of tourism is observed. Sometimes such people go to business in the sphere familiar to them. A saying “understood life - gave up work“ - just about it. Such transition happens easily and without assistance. Of course, for acceptance of a final decision the help of the expert - the psychologist can sometimes be required.

Other reason - not “the“ profession. The conflict is formed in youth, during the choice of educational institution or the first place of work. As usual there is a choice of future profession? It can be a family dynasty - the most often found case. Whether such option suits the child or not, but literally impose it a profession of parents. Of course, on the one hand, it is convenient to carry on family traditions: the familiar environment, well established professional relations, thoroughly studied features of future specialty, vozmthe ozhny help of parents and direct patronage for receiving a prestigious workplace. And if the psychotype of the child is suitable for the profession chosen thus, then in the future the successor of a dynasty can be engaged in the chosen business with pleasure and, as a result, with great success. But what to do if the born actor grows in a family of the lawyer? In other cases parents do children by hostages of own ambitions. “I did not manage, so you will make!“ And here children “work“ debts of parents. In practice of psychologists the huge place is taken by music schools as a childhood nightmare - parents so wanted, but did not become outstanding musicians! Other version of the choice of profession imposed by parents is their own idea of an ideal. “I know better, than to you to be engaged!“ And here children in practice embody ideas of parents of ideal work. As to you such parental argument in favor of the same music school: you will always find work near the house! And, at last, the most widespread wrong option of choice of profession - casual. Friends called, institute near the house, fashion on a profession in a year of receipt - it is unimportant. The main thing that in this case neither abilities, nor bents of the person are considered. And sooner or later there comes the conflict between the personality and the chosen occupation.

If you have such case, then the first that it is necessary to make, - “to kill hope“. The hope that everything is formed and a salary good forces people to go down stream passively. But in that case the result can be at all not such for which you hoped.

If for you it is important to p to make independent decisions - act! The most interesting that all who ventured change of a profession in new, as a rule, reach considerable heights, probably, in an award for courage. And it is absolutely unimportant how you gave many years to a former kind of activity, and what is the time remained to pension. In practice people successfully change an occupation even after 60!

So what actually should be done in case you understood that current not your business and to you it is just necessary to replace it? Of course, as always, the ideal decision - to ask for the help the psychologist. At the choice of the expert it is useful to be guided by opinion of those who else are not 35 years old. This generation grew without the prejudiced relation to psychological consultation and already has the circle of familiar professionals. Change of a profession - process especially individual and here is not present universal recipes. If you for any reasons are not ready to the help of the psychologist, begin with the fact that ask yourself a question - what you liked to do in youth? What do you do with pleasure and now? Interrogate your acquaintances, friends that they think of your abilities. Often from outside our tendencies which are not obvious to ourselves are better visible. For example, you by job search forgot to mention that you are fluent in French - just never thought of such way of earning money. Visit of jobcenter, at least is also useful to pass test for detection of tendencies and abilities. One more step - expand the circle of contacts. You go to trainings of personal growth, to retraining courses. You can, without changing work, to replace habitat. In language of psychologists it is called “extension of the world map“. At communication with people of different professions you have an opportunity to get acquainted with other views of your task, with new thoughts and reasons. Sometimes the day off spent on training can become a push to understanding of the task, to adoption of significant decisions.

As are told by psychologists, “to have the happy childhood never late“. It fully belongs also to the choice of favourite work. Just stop to treat yourself as to the member of a caste of accountants - programmers - lawyers. You there nobody wrote down, lifelong hiring never practiced in our country. Also allow themselves to take a step from a habitual route of life, allow as in an instructive joke, “to buy the lottery ticket“. Let you will also not win one million, but can receive much more who knows. Dare to make so that work brought you pleasure and became business of your life. And it costs much more than one million.