Rus Articles Journal

Be reconciled and do not fight

In any children`s company there will be a small aggressor. It is difficult not to notice it - it quite brightly proves: shouts, takes away others toys, knocks a shovel on the head of “enemy“, it bites and pushed, something pulls down... Continuous disaster!

Strategy and tactics

Submit to

the idyllic picture: the day off, all have a great mood, you with the clean elegant child came for walk or went on a visit and met... small aggressor. What to do if your kid fell his victim?

At all military operations, and you in this situation - the general, are developed and either the plan of defeat of the enemy, or the plan of peaceful settlement of the conflict are whenever possible carried out. Psychologists and just clever people offer parents several behavior models at “quarrels in a sandbox“.

Ignoring

This strategy suits

when the simple showdown is rather about a showdown between children without bright aggression, i.e. Mothers do not interfere, giving to children the chance to understand. But so far as concerns causing physical harm to the child, about his need for your protection, this strategy is inappropriate.

Cooperation

you actively interfere, trying to solve peacefully the conflict, to talk some sense into an aggressor to be more friendly. You can try to connect his mother. This strategy is good with assistance of other mothers and at sanity of the child about whom we speak: sometimes very emotional children do not hear anybody in the so-called heat of passion. Also your personal charm, patience and ability to agree with children will help. Difficult way, but if you overcome it, then as a result you will give a good lesson to the baby how to be in similar situations, - advantage of this strategy.

Avoiding

It means - are enough the child in hands and run up hill and down dale, to be exact - on other platform or in other park! The matter is that aggression is infectious. To yours to the baby there can be enough couple of such meetings, and you with surprise will notice unpleasant changes in its character. And what to tell about impressionable children - all of them will “digest“ it at night. Of course, it is impossible to avoid all troubles, but at the difficult moments surely help the child.

Mother of the little terrorist

A how to be if in an unseemly role your child acts? Prizadumaytes, children`s aggression is a signal of trouble of the kid, and you should not ignore it at all. Researches show that the child in the childhood estimated by peers as aggressive, being an adult, probably, will be estimated also. Draw conclusions!

Aggression results from two main reasons: strong discomfort (physical or emotional pain) and as reproduction of aggressive behavior of close people. Remember yourself in good mood: you flit as a butterfly, and the smile does not descend from your face. In such state you not that you will offend nobody, but also are ready to close eyes to a lot of things. But if to you it is bad, you were upset, deprived of something, hurt, then only give a reason - and you turn into “firedrake“.

to understand the reason which caused aggression of the child attentively analyse following:

  • too strict education, with a set of bans and severe punishments;
  • excessive parental adherence to principles;
  • insufficiency of attention and love of parents;
  • frequent collision with aggressive actions from peers or adults;
  • viewing of aggressive animated films and other programs (as addition to one of above-mentioned points).
by

Where sent aggression

to

It develops in two directions - on itself and on others. As a rule, children treat themselves the same as adults to them. Being afraid of punishment and abuse from the adult, children punish themselves. For example, scratch, beat, bite themselves. It is reaction to own unsuccessful actions and acts which can cause discontent people around. Aggression in relation to itself is so shown. “Smaller brothers“ abuse of the child - a peculiar form of replacement of other types of aggression. First the kid can ruthlessly tear a grass, trample down flowers, break branches of bushes and trees, and later to drag for a tail of a kitten... Similar behavior - the first signal for parents: it is time to pay attention to a condition of the of the baby and to a situation in whom he lives.

That is good and that badly

Deliver to

yourself to the place of the child, you will understand his feelings better. Sometimes well affects vymeshcheny aggressions neutral objects: to potopat legs, to push a carriage …

Show understanding and empathy. Allow to cry and even to swear, quietly reacting. You speak about the sympathy: you understand that he is very upset and are ready to help. The adult`s task - to teach the child to get out of conflict situations in the worthy way. Observing aggressive behavior, children often reproduce it therefore avoid such scenes. For this purpose it is possible to discuss with children the most often found conflict situations and what provokes it and foreign rage.

For example how to arrive if the child needs a toy which someone already plays. Such conversations will help the child to expand behavioural “repertoire“ - a set of ways of behavior in certain situations.

in the Best way of expression of anger is the direct statement of the feelings (in a polite form) to the person who became an anger source. For a start also such phrase will approach:“ When you push me, I am angry. It is not pleasant to me, let`s play better“. A role-playing game - one of ways of training in adequate expression of anger, playing conflict situations, children can test different ways of behavior and to see the most successful. Here it is important to show unproductiveness of aggressive behavior.

Family members depend from each other: if at mother quietly at heart, it is good and to the child

Parental universities

Even the most “awful“ child needs love and understanding of adults. And a family - the best cure for his aggressive behavior. Try to leave the kid of one as seldom as possible: in time softening its discomfortable state, you can prevent fit of anger.

Should not allow to the child to cry long

of the Tear - one of the first negative experiences of the kid, long tears cause despair.

Encourage with

independence

“Research“ force is big and at collision with an absolute obstacle (in the form of parental bans) causes strong irritation that in turn leads to aggression flashes.

the Gentle word “mother“

The is steadier than

positive emotional connection with mother, the it is easier to overcome to the child the hostile feelings. It is necessary to learn good, having become a personal example. The best way of response to aggressive behavior is a preservation of tranquility.

Children`s masochism

do not allow the child to vent aggression on yourself as the autoaggression forms lines of the loser constantly dissatisfied with. You say to the kid that you love him and therefore you will not allow to do harm to yourself or someone else.

Psychotherapy at home

Saving creativity! Drawing and molding always give the chance to remove stress, to calm nervous system and to perform the psychotherapeutic work.