As is frequent we, young and inexperienced mothers, we face axioms of children`s education. Yes what there axioms, I would call them obligatory rules, common truths without which observance it is impossible to grow up and bring up the child normally. About them we are told magazines and articles on the Internet, doctors, our mothers and mothers-in-law report about them at once.
I here the woman with the baby on hands who did not recover even after pregnancy and childbirth which is in a heat of fight against a postnatal depression starts conforming to these rules. She can not know yet how to swaddle the kid as to bathe him or in what to dress during walk, but she already precisely knows that if to allow the child to eat or drink from a bottle, he will refuse a breast if to put the child to sleep with itself in a bed, it will be impossible to disaccustom him to it then... And here from new: the mode is a remnant of the past, now the child has to be fed on demand and if you swaddle the child, then it at you will lag behind in development, and in general, already nobody swaddles anybody.
Ya I am not going to challenge possible correctness of the similar points of view at all. Some rules appeared long ago, and already only it grants to them the right for existence. I just want to bring, based on the experience, them out of the category of the ultimate truth. Of course, all children different, and one can suit what is not acceptable for another in any way, just praivla should not follow thoughtlessly to the detriment of the tranquility and health.
Now to my daughter Varya 8 months, we are able to do everything that also even is necessary at this age more. I am 27 years old, and this is my first child. Till its birth I re-read a lot of literature, but, having arrived with the child from maternity hospital, I understood that I practically am able nothing. I still remember how we with the husband in the first two days exhausted all pack of napkins of Pampers (72 pieces) as were afraid to carry the baby in a bathtub and to wash with it buttocks under a water stream. The first feeling was that you remember nothing from read at all. Then it was possible to get only these notorious obligatory rules from my head.
1.“ Not to swaddle“
Here, at last, we and houses, everything left, in kitchen the mountain of bouquets, on a big bed the most valuable that now we have with the husband. We together chose the most beautiful romper suit, changed clothes of the baby, I fed her, and we tried to put the child to bed. But not here - that was. Varka obviously was already ready to it, small eyes were constantly closed, but mean hands led separate life and did not want to fill up in any way.the daughter started
plaintively Anew to complain, and then just began to cry. Tried to hold disobedient hands, and the child fell asleep at once, but once you released, they awoke the daughter at once. So we were tormented hour two then we called the mother-in-law as at ourselves it was impossible to swaddle her normally. It right there arrived for what to it many thanks. The swaddled Varka instantly fell asleep and overslept 6 hours.I Will tell
at once, we ceased to be swaddled for a dream, only when we were 4,5 months old, and ceased to do it literally in one day. Just once I noticed that the child, having pulled out handles, quietly continues to sleep both in the afternoon, and at night.
At first I thought that the reason of unwillingness of the daughter to sleep with free handles and legs is covered that five days in maternity hospital constantly swaddled her (children lay separately from mothers). But at my neigbour in chamber the son (Varka is more senior than him for two hours) began to sleep without diapers practically at once and terribly was indignant when mother tried to swaddle it.
For the sixth day of our life to us the nurse came from policlinic. Having seen the sleeping swaddled child, it issued the following phrase:“ Immediately stop to swaddle the child in the afternoon with hands“. On my comment that the daughter so cannot sleep, she is awoken by hands, I was inconsiderately answered that in that case I will be forced to swaddle the child “to 2 - x years“.Should notice
that the nurse was not young at all, but even it did not prevent me to answer in a sharp form that I will swaddle the child so much how many I consider it necessary. But, despite such external confidence, in me nevertheless something missed a bit, and the thought crept in that, maybe, the elderly aunt with a wide experience nevertheless the rights... Thank God that I did not begin to torment myself and the daughter with sharp refusal of diapers and waited for the fact that Varya herself began to sleep in a romper suit under a blanket.
As wants to ask all doctors and nurses who work with young inexperienced mothers, to be more tactful and not so categorical in the statements. It is enough one word that us to frighten and to install uncertainty whereas our children so need quiet mothers.
2.“ Not to feed from a bottle“
Is unconditional, all roddoma different. Somewhere for young mothers midwifes run and violently force to be decanted after each feeding - milk becomes more, and skills of decantation appear. Personally I gave birth in maternity hospital where if something is necessary to you, then be kind, ask about it.during pregnancy all of us read to
the mountain of literature about pregnancy and childbirth, but very few people are interested in articles about breastfeeding. I was simply sure that I will have milk, and in feeding by a breast there is nothing difficult. That the child should learn to be taken correctly a breast and as to do it I learned in day of an extract from the board, but was already a little late.
during the first feeding the children`s sister who brought me the daughter, showed how to open for the sleeping child a mouth to thrust a breast there, and left. In the first day at us it turned out little, for the second day I had milk. Varya took a breast and began to suck, it was sick, but I thought that and has to be. As a result to an extract of one I could not nurse any more as from a crack just there was blood, on the second breast of a crack began to appear.
of the House the daughter did not begin to suck a breast through slips, but also to suck blood as a small vampirchik, did not want too. So we began to be fed from a bottle. I remember that I had a sense of guilt before the child and feeling that I did not pass serious examination. I had to decant milk only from one breast (well that there was enough milk) and to constantly smear both breasts with ointment.
blood ceased to go Soon, and I continued decantation, but already from two breasts. (At once I want to tell that cracks if not to disturb them, begin to live days for seven, and then it is possible to begin to nurse the child again.) Even my mother and the mother-in-law, seeing me with a small bottle in a hand, could not keep from the comment that as if the child did not refuse then a breast... From it sense of guilt and inferiority only amplified.
there Passed week, and the daughter without any problems passed back from a bottle to mother. Many thanks to producers of pacifiers and bottles, to the daughter and my common sense. I perfectly remember how painfully to nurse the child if there are cracks. It is good that I did not become farther to wait and suffer, and just several days decanted a milk in a bottle. A little later, having got Internet access, I read several articles about how the infection got to cracks, and infectious mastitis developed. In this case it was necessary not only to pass to a small bottle, but also to change its contents from a useful mother`s milk for mixes.
By the way, it. After a laktostaz at me the amount of milk in one breast decreased a little. It was necessary to make more efforts in order that to exhaust it whereas from a healthy breast it remarkably flew. I had to give in one feeding to the child a breast, and in the following a bottle, and so until over time the amount of milk and its pressure approximately were not made even.Now for breakfast we eat with
the squashes divorced in a mother`s milk. As adults we have dinner and we have supper, sitting in the chair in kitchen, and we wash down pyureshka with a mother`s milk from a bottle. And in the evening and in the night from pleasure we eat mother.
3. Not to put the child
We decided to sleep with ourselves in one bed with the husband from the very beginning that so far the small child, he will sleep with us in one room, but in the bed. In a week we found out, what is much more convenient, and, above all, longer to sleep everything three together. Then at us the father was unwell, and we settled out him to other room. So we with the daughter remained together on a big bed. It was very amusing and is not absolutely clear how the child swaddled with hands managed to creep up every time to me closely.
Of course, on it. We with pleasure were frightened by predictions that now the child to school will sleep with us. But I felt that is much more comfortable than my daughter when I slept with her.
Then we moved to the apartment where a long time there was a repair. We made a separate bedroom where there were two beds: our and daughter`s. For Varya the beautiful corner with children`s wall-paper was made. But through couple of nights we with the husband removed one panel of a bed and moved up it closely to the. So we also sleep still. It is very convenient to nurse the child at night: put nearby, fed, and, without getting out of a bed, shifted back. And we in turn sleep with the husband from the daughter, giving the chance to sleep each other.
the Daughter very much loves the bed and falls asleep only in it. To take it to itself now there is at all no sense as there she does not wish to sleep. And the beautiful children`s corner let will wait in the wings.
4. The mode or on demand
I Think that all mothers will agree with me that others cannot mix crying of the hungry child with anything. It is possible to understand not at once that to the child it is cold - hot, getting thirsty and so forth and to work by search, but when the child wants to eat, he will tell about it very surely and loudly.
For myself I decided at once that I will feed the daughter when she asks. At first she asked each 2 - 3 hours, then this interval began to increase. At us similarity of the mode began to appear. I noticed that the daughter every day hours at 11 in the morning wishes to have a sleep, and asks to eat practically in one and too time at night. I imposed nothing to Varya, she chose when to sleep and when is, and we with the husband adapted to this mode.
Ya did not go into extremes and did not suggest the daughter to spend all the time at my breast, but also did not adhere iron 3 - x hours. Months from five we had an accurate mode. It became how convenient at the same time to put to bed and feed the child: the daughter ate with pleasure and very well fell asleep in certain time.
Of course, we have failures, the daughter can refuse food or eat a little, can refuse to sleep at 16 o`clock, and in 16. 30 it is loud to ask it to lay. Just I every time listen to her opinion, she already the person also has the right to want or not to want something. So at us if it is so possible to be expressed, the mode on demand turned out:-).
Here the basic four rules which I personally had to face. It is sure that each mother has “hang-ups“ to which she at first tried to follow thoughtlessly only because so did “always and all“. Certainly, experience - a great thing, but each child is individual, it is necessary to think of it first of all. I will agree that it is terrible to experiment (in good sense of this word) with the child, especially if he the first, but it can turn out so that what is done by all, will be categorically contraindicated to your crumb.
one more very essential moment about which it is necessary to tell Is. I very often happened to hear - “do not take the child on hands“, “and your baby absolutely manual“ or “as you, poor, manage to iron - to erase - to prepare if he at you from hands does not get down“, and further in the same spirit. But who told that it is harmful to accustom the child to hands, and, the main thing, why and to whom it is harmful? >
to me it is very interesting to p to communicate to this person and to set to it a number of questions. For example, how it is possible to leave to cry the child in an arena or a bed and to wait until he calms down? Or how it is possible not to carry on hands of the little man who cannot move? Only being on hands at the adult, the kid can begin to study world around.I do not say
Ya that the child has to be on hands all 24 hours. My daughter can sit in the stool with me in kitchen while I eat or I prepare, to rock on a swing while I iron, or just to roll about near me on an adult bed. If I cannot take it on handles when she wants it, I talk to it and I explain the reason. Sometimes I manage to persuade to sit still it, is not present more often, and it climbs to me on hands. But we are only 8 months old, and it “sometimes“ - already my big victory. The little man grows very quickly, and soon we will dream of that our child asked it to embrace and to press to itself.So what the adult is afraid of
? Radiculitis, lack of free hands and time. But, I`m sorry, if the main thing for it is its freedom, then such person obviously hurried to bring the child. I know precisely that if my daughter cries or is going to begin to cry, and the only way to calm her is to take on hands, without any doubt, I and will arrive as it is the obligatory rule.