The worldwide network of OBS agency
Is not present such mother on light who would not face the similar phenomenon. Moreover, each of us can become part of this worldwide network. And anything terrible: at least once in life it happens to all...Agents among us
of the Network of this “agency“ are stretched by
everywhere. No “Jehovah`s witnesses“ also dreamed such number of voluntary adherents, any news agency cannot count on the similar speed of distribution of information.“ Herbalife“ has just a rest here. by
of “OBS“ in common people it is deciphered as “one woman told“. The law of distribution of information - the fundamental law of functioning of OBS agency. As practice shows, agents of “OBS“ very often share not achievements of own experience or the acquired knowledge at all, and report information obtained on a chain by “OBS“ which, of course, nobody checks. In this chain only the personal authority of the agent of “OBS“, and also persuasiveness of a voice with which he presents this “exclusive“ information is highly appreciated.
First child, first mistakes, first opening. You, of course, look uncertainly, and it is the main signal for the agent of worldwide network “OBS“. You, the uncombed young mother sighing over the izvorotisty little hooligan looked after at a playground or in a park sandbox for a long time. Prepare, you will be learned to live. How many books on pedagogics you read how many you courses for parents visited, one fine day will approach you on the street, on the platform, in shop and will tell that you incorrectly bring up the child. Also will surely tell how it is necessary “to live“, how exactly you have to feed, dress and correctly raise it - “and only this way!“
From where they know it? Whether they grew up five absolutely healthy and happy children? Do we have a pedagogical education? And medical?. It is unlikely. They, most often, gain all the knowledge as well as transfer, - by means of ubiquitous agents of “OBS“. “Why you walk without cap? Your kid can catch a cold!“ - “Do not allow it to dig hands in the earth, you what, you do not know that it is so possible to catch tuberculosis?“ - “Do not feed him with cookies, it is impossible to allow to pick!“ - “You unless know that boys cannot be held long in pampers?“ - “All of you still nurse?! After a year breast milk does harm to the child`s organism!“
you shudder. You have no sufficient experience, the accumulated knowledge yet to agree or disprove each “guide to action“ which to you is so generously offered by strangers. You put on a cap, you take away cookies... No, not so: you take off a cap, you give cookies back because explained to you with just even more confident tone that it is correct just - on the contrary. Having faced the similar phenomenon for the first time, you, most likely, will trustfully follow advice. And as, the neigbour in a staircase gave you the fine recipe which is absolutely helping for any cold. She - that knows: brought up two children, to one already under forty, to the second thirty - and any of them did not die of cold.“ Pound a body of the baby alcohol, - she says. - And if there is no alcohol, then vinegar it is possible“. It nothing that the baby is only two months old. It - that from the cradle pounded the (judging by some bents of that to which under forty, it was not vinegar!) . On it, probably, it is worth stopping.
First try, then trust!
Health of your child - that sphere in which agents of “OBS“ have nothing to do. For them communication with you and to you similar is most often only an occasion to share “recipe“, as a rule, unchecked which in the OBS networks is allocated with the mystical status of “the most infallible remedy“. Whether you are ready to use the child as a guinea pig for doubtful medical experiments? And if it is the very first children`s cold in life of your child, and common language with the local pediatrician cannot be found... Absolutely - absolutely it is impossible? Or perhaps it is worth trying still? To express respect for knowledge of the doctor and to ask it to share them. Who as not the certified specialist, can tell you about the reasons and a course of disease, about processes which happen in the child`s organism, about action of each of the prescribed medicine or to advise available literature.by
Eventually if there is no contact between you and in the near future it is not expected, the pediatrician can try to be replaced.
But besides those cases when you can ask for suggestions the doctor who got the corresponding education in life of your child it is a lot of moments which it is difficult to you to understand, and for suggestions to ask there is nobody. Whether there is a lot of around us professional tutors, specialists in children`s whims, in games in a sandbox, professional psychologists and parents whose knowledge and experience should be trusted?Should not be closed by
from any information which you hear from strangers. Councils of more skilled mothers it is often better than any encyclopedias will prompt how to solve a difficult situation or to endure the crisis period of your baby. Talk, discuss, you share...
But what to do if this information is imposed how only true, and to you in this sandbox to divide the general bench still, at least, a two-three of years?Six golden rules conversation with agents of the OBS network when volumes of encyclopedias are not read yet, “rake“ of personal experience is carefully placed by
somewhere ahead, and experts of “OBS“ place to you the traps continually. You do not exclude that some share of information necessary to you in these councils is, but are not ready to take them right there on trust. To swear at strangers and to prove to them what you “know better and better“, too you do not want. How to carry on conversation, without entering the conflict? How softly to insist on the point of view or to finish conversation, unpleasant for you?
Personal experience of communication with a great number of secret and obvious agents of “OBS“ (generally at a big playground of the next park) helped me to develop small, but quite effective strategy of similar talk with fans of various “secrets“. I hope, it is useful also to you. And maybe, you will manage to find own. So, I present you six ways as it is polite to listen and make in own way:
- Appeal to a higher source. Agents of “OBS“ very much depend on competent opinions: “And our pediatrician, the doctor with 40 - a summer experience, says that it is impossible to leave the child in isolation at all if he is upset and furthermore, cries“. Confirm to
- the theory with practice: “My friend too so left the child at half an hour of one to shout, now he is afraid to depart from her even for a second. Doctors speak, it is shock reaction from an ostavlennost“.
- Refer to literature:“ Yes, of course, there is such version, but I think differently. I a lot of both medical, and pedagogical literature on this subject read (here it is possible to call a couple of sources, close to a subject) and I incline to that point of view that the healthy mentality of the kid, than his independence and independence is much more important. Will manage to enjoy both that, and another, and nerves should be protected from the youth“. Hint
- that information of a source of “OBS“ became outdated long ago:“ I heard in one medical transfer about WHO recommendations, and so, according to all available data from the latest medical researches recently if in time not to calm the child, subsequently it can lead to heavy violations of mentality“. If the magic abbreviation of WHO does not work, replace it with more patriotic - the Russian Academy of Medical Science. Many agents of “OBS“ very much are afraid to lag behind progress therefore, struck by the similar phrase, they, most likely, will begin to transfer information heard from you on a chain of “OBS“. To become a source and the conductor of “OBS“ everyone can - from it nobody is insured. If you do not want to enter the conflict, and dispute for you is a source of a real headache, but not healthy enthusiasm, it is possible to use cunning and try to pacify the agent in the ways No. 5 or No. 6.
- Wait a little to follow so “valuable“ instructions:“ Really you speak, really so? Well, today I all - will take it on hands, and farther it will be necessary to try to follow your advice“.
- Appeal to personal circumstances: “Sometimes, of course, it is possible to allow to the child to shout, but today I am very much hurt by the head“. I do not want to tell at all that it is impossible to listen to foreign opinion on your child - it is possible and sometimes it is even necessary. Others experience can really be useful, especially in those situations where check on own threatens to turn back serious troubles. The main thing is considered, critical approach!
to Separate grains from a ryegrass, to understand where that information to which it is necessary to pay attention and where long-term rumors and controversial theories, will help you (I do not joke!) only one - yes, that that to us quite right was bequeathed once by the grandfather Lenin. Are not lazy, be not afraid, do not hesitate to study! Read and listen - and justice will triumph, and is more concrete - at any talk with any agents of “OBS“, even the most experienced, at the thinking and “grounded“ person will always be what to lean on.Do
of People is a surprising, difficult system. To grow up and bring up the little person - a difficult task. We cannot lean on only one instincts - our instincts are suppressed long ago by the artificial environment in which we live. We cannot rely on only one tradition - we are torn too off from roots and, in fact, traditions we do not know. Everything that we need - to fill up the knowledge constantly.
- be not afraid to ask in detail pediatricians on development and functioning of an organism of your child, on all trifles.
- Perhaps, it is worth descending on courses of first aid or basic medical courses.
- Look for good literature on pedagogics and the developing techniques. Read books on age psychology - it is very interesting, learn a lot of new both about yourself, and about the child, and even about the husband.
- Meet parents of peers, discuss with them similar problems.