Rus Articles Journal

Not guilty we!

to our generation had to live happiness during an era of information abundance. Now it is possible to obtain any interesting information on the Internet, and our parents could only dream of the number of books and various magazines.


At my mother, for example, still store hardly the got Spock`s book about education of children. Of course, in libraries on this subject there was literature of our Soviet authors, but in it, unfortunately, there were so many retreats about a role of party in education first of all of politically correct parents that the desire to read from cover to cover vanished quickly enough. And, frankly speaking, among friends of our family there was not much such who would be in psychology of the child or methods of pedagogical education actively interested.

Somehow was trusted councils of grandmothers and grandfathers, the intuition and, of course, to tutors and teachers more. And for parents in general could only dream of schools of early development and various courses!

Now situation absolutely opposite. The avalanche of information on development of their beloved children fell upon future mothers and fathers from the moment of conception and to extreme old age. You will find mummy who was not attending special classes for pregnant women now, probably, only in the remote village. Especially educated, unfortunately, sometimes cease to follow the maternal instincts, entirely trusting councils, podcherpnuty of special literature.

Once on the platform to my younger little son 9 months, having seen a pacifier, the peanut of the same age approached with mother. It furiously nasasyvat the finger by which it was just picked a sand, and reached for a pacifier to mine to Vasyana. Young mummy dragged it far away and loudly became it obyasncht that the boy sucks “kaka“, and it is harmful. The poor child shouted so that they had to leave the platform. Really reasonable use of a pacifier would do it bigger harm, than this than not constrained crying? And than it is worse than dirty hands which are so pleasant for sucking when gums so itch and swelled?

Similar cases not a rarity. The number of councils for parents grows in various editions, also the number of mothers and fathers who are in a constant stress from - for fear to make something not so, to shout incidentally at the child, to offend or, on the contrary, to concede to it once again grows. Just right to poor parents to shout SOS!

Here some of manuals of doctors and psychologists who quite often bring to a vozniknoveiya of sense of guilt at especially responsible and loving parents.

First of all to parents should devoutly wish to give birth to the child

Olga, one-year-old Andrey`s mother and 3 - summer Artyom:“ When I learned that I expect a baby again, I began to panic: just again came for study, ahead of me interesting work and with the Subject waited it became a little simpler, and here such news! The opinion of the husband was in this respect known, and I should at first most have made the decision. Doubts tormented me about a month, then I all - decided that I will give birth. The husband was happy. I reconciled to inevitable rather. But when Andryushka appeared, I was absolutely happy! And now I am very glad that everything so left, I love the boys madly, but I cannot get off thought that it is guilty before younger of all its future failures, I could not doubt. And it is very difficult for me to cope with this feeling.“

It is valid, there is a set of the facts about existence of dependence between success of the person, a set of some personal characteristics and subjects as far as the child was planned and desired. But look around, really none of your environment got into a situation when the birth of the kid was a little at the wrong time?! Unfortunately, so it happens, but it does not mean that on it for life the brand of the loser will lie now, making the decision to leave this little man, normal parents surely will love very strongly it and it, believe, the most important!

the Parents wishing to give birth to future genius have to be engaged in his development surely already during the vnutriutroby period

Irina, one-year-old Anechka`s mother:“ When we with the husband decided to bring the child, I studied on a last year of medical institute. The kid was very desired, but the more there was pregnancy term, the state examinations were closer. On the 37th week I gained the diploma, on 38 gave rise. The husband was the last three months in business trip (work is work!). Reading in the crowded Wagny the subway in magazines for parents of revelation of future mothers about the special state of mind, I did not trust them. And this with the fact that received profession of the children`s doctor, knew everything about development of the daughter and did not miss any reception in a maternity welfare unit. But to listen to the state there were already neither forces, nor time. Now here I think, can in vain? And my Anyuta, though grows not so silly, but received less something through my fault?!“

I again this statement corresponds to truth. But experience of the previous generations when a little what was izestno about perinatal psychology, shows that gifted and even talented people were not less because that to them in the pre-natal period did not put Mozart and did not read Tsvetaeva`s verses. Eventually, Lomonosov in a large family of uneducated peasants was given rise! To begin to bring up the little genius never late (well, unless when he not small, but quite polovozrely personality)!


Galina, mother 6 monthly Roma: “I already tried everything, but milk less and less, Romka shouts and, in my opinion, all the time wants to eat. Badly began to put on weight, it was necessary to enter dokorm. I feed from a small bottle, and itself I roar. The husband asks: “You what?“, and I speak: “Why at Svetka of milk though be filled in, she does not want to feed, and at me is not present?!“

In general, this problem, probably, one of the most widespread among young mothers. It is very important. Try to keep breastfeeding very much! But it is not deadly. Now there is a set of special mixes, will help to pick up suitable you the pediatrician. Believe, your kid very needs healthy, quiet and self-assured mother, but not exhausted with infinite fight for breast milk. And he will surely grow up healthy and clever, he has such attentive, careful and loving parents!

Parents for a second should not lose control over the emotions. The reason of any scandal made by your child should be looked for in itself. To find and to neutralize immediately. And, the main thing, having conceded in the requirements at least once, we forever become hostages of whims of our children.


, mother 5 - summer twins Varvara and Arseny:“ Day off was spoiled, our father was in business trip, the whole day went a rain and we stayed at home. I, as always, spread out the papers on a table and left on kitchen to heat a dinner. The children peacefully played on a floor. When I returned to the room, documents scattered in different directions, and my children with enthusiasm fought from - for some toys. Having presented what volume of work on restoration of the papers expects me, I fell into rage. Took away the shouting children on different rooms, having therein spanked both. They quickly enough calmed down, and here I, sitting at night at work, suffered conscience that did not translate everything for fun as it is necessary to ideal mother, and used force.“

Of course, ourselves are guilty of everything, and our children copy our behavior and manifestation of emotions. But we are the living people loving of the children shouting, manipulating us. And whether much you know parents, the mistakes and misses never making in this hard business - education?! Always and in any obtoyatelstvo to remain equal and quiet how the rock, it is almost unreal, unless not such state in psychiatry is called a syndrome of emotional poverty?! The most important and, of course, the most difficult, - to manage to find golden mean between a carrot and stick and not to panic at the slightest oversight in return. Of course, provided that did not become to make oversights at you a habit, in that case any more not you, and to your children will need the help of experts. Good luck to you in everything!