When the wife earns more...
your wife - a charm. She is beautiful, lovely and that is important, loves you. She is able to make a festive lunch and to welcome guests. Several years she together with you worried about success of your business, softened your anger if something did not develop, made coffee if at the nights you had to sit up behind the affairs which are not finished at office... She once got a job in very prestigious company with a good name. And here at some moment of the spouse reports to you about the increase in a position...
In the beginning
Everything occurred gradually and imperceptibly. At first she with enthusiasm told you about the new place. You patiently listened as elements of marketing or personnel management work at practice. Sometimes you found something useful in her words: but whether not to try it and at itself? But similar happened seldom - generally you quietly laughed at her enthusiasm of the neophyte from business. Also rejoiced that there is no spouse at business also need to think out, as if to entertain it...
Something becomes unstuck...Gradually you began to understand
that work for it - not only entertainment. She began to earn money. Let not so hot, but ceased to ask one thousand from you - another on cosmetics, costume jewelry, special literature... Yes, it had to read much to climb a career ladder. Reading took away from it that time which left, for example, on preparation of a dinner earlier. To eat at home at you got out of fashion - began to prepare once. Now on the road from work of the spouse runs in cafe or restaurant.
I that is remarkable, often comes back home after you. No, to cook pelmeni, to order pizza or to eat at the same restaurant for you not a problem. But time on “to have a heart-to-heart talk“ every day remains less and less... Something began to go wrong, become unstuck, and it disturbs you.
And nerves can not be sustained...She reported
to you about purchase of the new car: it is necessary for it for work. About any money to conversation is not present - she already paid the most part of a contribution. The rights will be the other day:“ ... sorry, forgot to tell“.
I at last, the wife declares that she received a new position and a new salary. The position - one of leaders in corporation, and a salary, is sorry, higher than yours.here your nerves can not sustain
I. Still! Still you by right considered yourself as the owner, the leader, the supporter. Be not surprised, in subconsciousness of each man - heads of family - live these archetypes, everyone associates himself with them. Even at very man of means at a similar turn of affairs the inferiority complex which is urged on by silent irony of colleagues can develop and (God forbid!) subordinates.
Besides that you should come back to the house where often nobody waits for you. Besides that the wife from the native person turned into absolutely independent business lady. Besides that it already seldom is considered with your opinion on the life. Now she acquired also the moral right to specify to you what to do and when to keep silent!
of the Throwing and a torment
Fuel to the fire is added by acute jealousy. “Well what, - you think, - than it is better than me? Most likely on service these increases are explained not by progress. It could be pleasant to the chief, and he uses it - my wife! Yes, by the way, for what work pay it such money?.“ And so on. In the thoughts the man with the restrained vanity is capable to come very far.
Eventually you is overcome by apathy, neurosis develops, and affairs fly under a slope... Practice knows many similar cases. Reaches that men throw everything, some begin to drink... Also become an inveterate drunkard, accusing the poor woman who at all the enterprise talents appears powerless to help the spouse of everything. Often business comes to an end in divorce, and the woman continues the way to prosperity, and the man... Their destinies develop differently.
How to be? To get divorced? To try to persuade the wife to give up work and to return on kitchen? Or to enter with it competition? For a start we will try to understand the woman...we choose
how you chose the half. Of course, one may say, that everything occurred by itself: you got acquainted, pleasant each other, began to meet... and then the moment came to make it the proposal. At first sight nobody chose anybody. But on the second... You could pay attention to the girl from a bad family who without cause is talking smut careless, uneducated, with reputation of the readily available maiden? It is unlikely, if you decent, educated and solid person. But the lines attractive to us in the woman, hide for themselves and others, invisible a naked eye of property of character. Independently conceiving and attractive girl cannot be deprived of will to self-realization. Especially this question is particularly acute for it if it is clever and nice. Choosing you as the partner in life, she most likely did not expect all life to be on your contents and to spend all the century in kitchen, behind cleaning or in the nursery. If you want, nothing man`s including the most courageous dreams is alien to such ladies. Believe, with other woman it would be much more boring for you.
Work and a family
Are men consider that work is not necessary to well provided woman. Ladies think a little differently. In - the first, thirst of activity and thirst of self-realization as it is already told, are peculiar to both floors. In - the second, your wife sometimes pleasantly in something “to outdo you“ though she can treat it as to some kind of harmless competition, game. In - the third, money, undoubtedly, never happens superfluous and to bring them in a family on an equal basis with you the wife can consider as the duty. And, in - the fourth, not for this purpose she studied at institute for the rest of the life to devote to service to you. Yes, it is possible, you would like that, but she lives the same only life, as you. Men often forget about it.
Another matter if it was more successful... But whether grants it this right to leave from a sacred duty to store the family center? The man`s problem at all not that the salary of the wife is higher his own, and that from - for her total load the relations begin to cool down, leaves the house geniality.the Female aspiration to stability is natural and clear to
. However the vigorous activity directed to its preservation is capable to lead to that imbalance of which your wife so was afraid. And still a half of responsibility for this imbalance lies on you. Your discontent with a way of life of the spouse in itself averts her from you and from family affairs. In your forces to return optimism and good luck to itself and an order to the house. For this purpose it is necessary to look on the events a little in a different way and to behave so that the woman felt: neither the high salary, nor public recognition will replace with it you. And without you no work will be lovely to it.
First of all calm down: nothing terrible occurs. Try to treat excessive employment of the wife with understanding, support her, help it about the house. It is a little attention and participation - and the woman herself will try not to be late at work, to spend with you more time than when you constantly were angry and dissatisfied. Concentrate on own affairs. All know that work - good medicine for personal problems. And when you will be tired - relax and have a rest in loneliness or in the company of friends. Of course, this is not about changes... Also rejoice for the half! Do not reproach the wife, on the contrary, you praise her when she reports to you about the next success. Repeat more often that you are proud of it more anybody has no such remarkable and clever woman. The main thing that it is the truth!