Child or career?
the Most terrible for any employer - the pregnant employee: it is impossible to dismiss her, to load and irritate too, for her hold the place, pay a maternity leave. One problems! Here also he tries to disavow this person who became inconvenient, having bypassed the labor legislation. And poor “heroine of the occasion“ does not know, to cry her or to laugh with unexpected personal happiness … Really, even more often before the women who are looking for vacancy or already working there is a question: to have or not to have at present the child.
Of course, the medicine evolved dramatically forward, today the birth of the kid can be planned. But, unfortunately, all this in the theory, in practice happens also on another. My friend Olga, a top - the manager of the large telecommunication company, likes to display everything on shelves in literal and figurative sense. Her career is painted for the next eight years (in plans - to get second higher education and to become the head of department of sale, then to pass the MVA program and to hold the area manager`s position, and there and management of holding not far off), but the child`s birth was not provided by it in any way. “Here I will construct career, then, maybe, I will resolve also this issue“, - she said. Actually my friend as the famous heroine Scarlett O`Hara, drove seditious thought, purely in a feminine way calming herself:“ I will think of it tomorrow“. And tomorrow came, now it is faced by other problem: to give birth or not to give birth.
It is unconditional, at the time of our grandmothers, frankly speaking, not such comfortable and provided as ours (even the most modest present conditions would seem them paradise), this question was not filled with Shakespearean passions. And the word “abortion“ carried, to put it mildly, a criminal shade. Let`s remember how Lyudmila Ulitskaya in the novel “Kukotsky`s Incident“ ingeniously described fight of the outstanding Russian gynecologist for official permission of artificial interruption of pregnancy! It was fight not only for female health (attempt to change terrible statistics of mortality from underground abortions), but also for an opportunity to the Soviet workers to resolve issues of planning of a family. As a result medical abortion was allowed nevertheless. In 1970 the corresponding declaration appeared, in 1983 m additions to it are accepted. And in 2003 m there was such concept as social abortion …
But will address figures which will help us to understand this problem. The statistics claims that the main reason for artificial interruption of pregnancy in Russia - financial problems (about 40%), on the second place - fear for the future of the child (21%), on the third - housing problems (15%). And 9% of respondents (what to absolutely unclear normal person) declared that do abortion because it is more available than protection. Anyway, from three pregnancies only one comes to an end with the child`s birth. And not the last role is played here by desire of the lady to construct career … One modern man, the author of quite in-depth study of female literary work, introduced the idea that ladies now in general are incapable to write about love, not to mention desire to become mothers. They are excited only by money and career. In forums on the subject “Children and Career“ on the Internet about it too there are corresponding opinions. Like, both a prejudice it, and pleasures from diapers and a nipple very doubtful, and while it turns out to build career, it is necessary to build it, and having come off labor process during pregnancy, it is possible to lag behind fine, brains will rust fairy tales to read, and so forth. And one girl in general wrote that at work pay extra to her for use of services of beauty shops and purchase of stylish clothes: it has to look on all hundred. Therefore she cannot even imagine herself with a stomach, and ceasing to drive the car, and there is nothing to speak.by
it is not excluded, of course, that this spirit of the times. But all - men did not learn to give birth yet as the well-known hero of Arnold Schwarzenegger. And sooner or later before each woman there can be a question: to be or not to be to the new person. Problem here, most likely, not in career, not that the child can interrupt aspiration of the businesswoman to self-realization, break its Napoleonic plans, and in whether there will be it desired. Only from this it also needs to proceed. Whether it is ready to taking the responsibility for life and education of one more member of society? And I do not want to croak, but at our ecology also problems with health of the kid which are capable to take away many forces and means are quite possible … And career will not get to anywhere: look at present women - political leaders of various countries (where the position is higher?!) : the president of Liberia became 67 - summer mother of four children and the grandmother of eight grandsons the iron lady of Africa Ellen Johnson - Sirleaf, the president of Chile - mother of three children of Michelle Bachelet, and our former candidate for president Irina Hakamada has the adult son Danila and the little daughter Maria.
Employers, naturally, try to secure themselves in every possible way. About the editor-in-chief of one famous periodical the joke goes that the place of his secretary is vacant every nine months. And not this dear person to that the reason - just at his assistants so turns out. Therefore be not surprised and do not take offense if you, the female person from 20 to 35 years, on interview directly ask not only about further plans for life, but also it is concrete about whether you are going to bring the child soon.
However different in life cases happen. One young perspective employee of Alain K. ten years dreams to have the child, but at it it is impossible to take out him to the necessary term in any way. Though it also blasphemously sounds, but she got used to a similar situation and, having been in the family way, passed into very prestigious company to the leading position. If employers asked it about future child, she would not know that to answer them …
By the way, keep in mind: point on prohibition included in the employment contract to the woman to give birth (it, unfortunately, too happens) has no validity. The law forbids and “cancellation of the employment contract at the initiative of the employer with pregnant women, except for cases of liquidation of the organization“. Well you will not be, really, from - for one person to disperse all. Having given rise, the woman has the right three years to sit with the child, receiving at the same time benefit and reserving a workplace. But pregnancy as it is painted in stories about unfair employers is not so terrible. A lot of things depend on the interpersonal relations. In my office practice there was a case when the employee of service of contacts with buyers Elena N. went to the decree twice and it was looked forward always. The matter is that it possessed phenomenal ability to leave the dissatisfied buyer happy even if to him nothing was paid at the same time or he was forced to pay a penalty! Perhaps and not in professionalism even business. The secretary of my former department Inna did not know English, printed, to put it mildly, not absolutely competently, but was very executive and hardworking. Despite the huge volume of work, it always managed to remain lovely and friendly. Therefore when she went on a maternity leave, all department cried. And the secretary who succeeded it perfectly knowing two foreign languages and computer programs of any complexity began to spin such intrigues in department that we, as they say, felt at once a difference …
O than nevertheless seriously should think also what the woman doing career and who appeared in the family way needs to consider?
- to Think as far as it is ready morally and physically to responsibility for future child. The woman, but not her close and distant relatives, friends and the more so colleagues has to make the decision.
- the Child - expensive “acquisition“. Money will be necessary for the most different needs, beginning from expenditure for good food during pregnancy, payment of childbirth and graduating from expenses on a garden, school, institute … > It is especially important to li to solve
- who will sit with the kid when mother renews the work:
- of the grandmother and the grandfather - ideal option (in the presence at them an opportunity, desire and forces), the main thing - that they did not indulge the kid, otherwise from the hare it will quickly turn in family a tiranchik;
- the nurse - cannot trifle of its choice; here the golden mean is desirable: that to the kid with the teacher it was psychologically comfortable and, at the same time, that mother did not become the aunt, and the nurse - mother; to
- kindergarten - to children after three years needs communication with peers, not without reason, meeting on walk of the kid of the age, they without any prefaces begin to fraternize.
- it is accurate to li to differentiate private life and work; regular delay from - for the fact that the kid was capricious in the morning and did not want to go to a garden (to the nurse), are not accepted; not to force the employer to do to
- indulgences because of presence of the small child - let better it will consider it at own will; to work as
- on itself, not to be lazy, learn to be in time everything - here the worthy purpose of any careerist (we will remember how Vera Alentova`s heroine fell asleep over textbooks, swinging the daughter, at the end of the first series of the movie “Moscow Does Not Trust Tears“).
Eventually, career and children should not be for the working woman mutually exclusive concepts. As speak, everything is good in its season, and if you really seek to be the successful person, then it is necessary to be successful in everything: both in work, and in private life. As people try to differentiate these spheres, nevertheless without child speak about the woman with some pity:“ Yes, it has an outstanding career, but here God did not give children“. Whether you paid attention that similar women have over time a desire to look after, sponsor other children and even adults? Bright to that an example - Nadezhda Konstantinovna Krupskaya. Yes what far to go, how many such directors of schools, orphanages and so on? The maternal instinct all the same as - nibud yes will show itself. The great actress Natalya Gundareva, without having the child, sponsored colleagues from shop and what remarkable mother - the heroine she played cinema! Certainly, the speech in this article does not go about those women who cannot give rise for health reasons. The speech about those who can, but does not want and faces a dilemma: to become mother or not, finding various excuses. In fact, it is not a problem of career, money, living conditions and other difficulties from which you will not escape anywhere, and a question: to dare to test female happiness or not. Yes, without exaggeration …At one of forums about career and children on the Internet I met by
the statement which, in my opinion, beats just the cap fits. Allow me to bring him completely: “It seems to me that the family without children cannot be happy. I do not know why, but it seems quite so. And all men dream of the successor. So, by fifty years it is possible to learn that your husband lives on two families in one of which five kids run! The main thing - to take courage and to decide. My girlfriend did not want children too and as became pregnant - the person became simple be not to recognized. I will sometimes run to it on a visit, and it such thick (gained nearly 25 kg!), to an elephant calf it is similar, but happy completely. So let`s not worry ahead of time and as there will come this moment, we will change radically the opinion, we will be measured by stomachs and to exhaust the husbands whims“.