And what she is a grandmother?
Having read article, “What I am a grandmother?“ I was very surprised that messages in discussion - 181. Article on usefulness has only 7 points, but the name caused a storm of emotions and big discussion. I want to tell the story, and can be, someone will change the attitude and towards the mothers and mothers-in-law.
Ya very much wanted the child. Long persuaded the husband (he had a heavy divorce and, I think, he just was afraid of repetition) and, at last, came true. Thoughts that I will be needs the help of mother and the more so the mother-in-law, did not arise absolutely. I can make everything! I am the best of all for a smog, and I want to cope with it!the Son at me was born
the weight of 4 kg. As it was krupnenkiya for me and went somehow incorrectly, it broke a clavicle. At once it was not found, as a result after maternity hospital, invited the familiar surgeon, and he imposed tires. I had a shock. My little sonny was similar to Jesus who was crucified. Tears just silently slid from eyes, and nothing can be made! I told all this that till 3 - 4 months I in panic was afraid to give it to someone to another, even native mother.
In one and a half months us was put in regional hospital. To go with changes about one and a half hours. Any conditions. Water cold and that on hours, about feeding I will quietly keep silent, in chambers cockroaches run. Honestly, counted on the help of mother. Mother at that time did not work, and it seemed to me that it is natural that she will help me. I hoped that though behind food it will not be necessary to go shopping. In that city there lived my aunt. But here is how - that it to me was inconvenient to be asked.
Mother not that to go, even to offer the help did not think. It right there gave out that the aunt will cope with it. As a result I spent the night with the child of the house, got up in five, brought together the child in a basket from a carriage (my God what happiness that was bought with it!) sat down on a trip minibus, reached to the regional center, changed to a city minibus and to eight was in chamber. After all procedures left home.Svyokr few times brought
, waited and took away us. Mine could not - sit and wait for so much time! The father grudged time, mother - does not feel sorry for me. On all this action with hospital a lot of money (it was necessary even to pay that to me allowed to leave) left, but none of parents offered financial support.
to the Son half a year. The husband very much wanted to make breakthrough and to add the thesis. Began to reflect on that we with the child lived at mother. Explained a situation to mother, asked unostentatiously - she kept silent! Then, having talked to the father, obviously with a reluctance suggested to try. Tried... Spat the thesis and arrived home. Spat because saw their relation. It is visible when the person is dissatisfied, you try not to disturb him, to do all, but... Seeing my mood, the husband insisted that we returned.
Ya came to them at the weekend (one day) that they could play with the grandson, but as it appeared now, they did not want it and just wanted to have a rest. Mother constantly tried to prick me. And the figure at me blurred, and shoulders became as at the man (and in half a year the son weighed 10 kg without outerwear, so I and had a backbone as the manualshchik was expressed, “as a chessboard“), and the husband such - syaky, does not help, and in general, long ago it is time to christen the grandson.is shorter than
, days off were cool! But so there was a wish that the grandson communicated, thought that everything will be adjusted and... can, only it seems to me that they are dissatisfied. But, as they say, love cannot be ordered.
A still I have a grandfather, and the grandmother was at that time living. They lived rather carelessly (to put it mildly), the grandfather almost blind and deaf. For them was norm to leave a toilet, to rub off hands about clothes and to put to the child cookies with which they were treated a few days ago by the neigbour. Therefore, to them I avoided visits.Remained
only parents of the husband and his sister with a family which lived all together. Here where I could come and, having fallen down in a chair, it is stupid to look in the TV! Coming home, I did not remember that I looked, but was feeling that I have perfectly a rest! The did not have it. I could have a rest, only if the son slept (but usually I was busy), and during wakefulness I always was with it.
the Son grew up. Came once again to parents. With mother made a lunch. The child woke up, and I asked the father with him a little to take a walk until I finish (they live in the private house). Having looked out in a window, tested silent horror. My kid (slightly more than a year) tried to climb on the Alpine hill which is laid out from stones, and the grandfather quietly rode a swing in several meters from it! If the child welled up, the grandfather would only manage to twist himself a leg, jumping through this creation from stones. For myself I drew a conclusion that small I will not leave it here.
With the husband`s parents history another, but with the same conclusion. These constantly strive to feed him with from what it, most likely, will have an allergy. We with the husband allergic persons, and, as we know, such couple almost for certain will have the same child. If we have an allergy to honey, then I will not give to the child honey, at least until the child himself does not realize risk degree. Last time, when I ate one tablespoon, to me was to pant so that I already thought, and I will not survive.
to Argue it is useless, to ask too. Even at me furtively the grandmother gave somehow tangerine. Though I strictly forbade to give a citrus in general. On my question: “What for?“, the answer was tremendous: “Yes nothing will be!“ (“Nothing will be“ treated about a week.)with
A my grandmother got sick then. It was put in hospital. The sister went to the sea. Called it and learned that parents already at the sea! Not only that it is some nonsense to go to have a rest when the person native in hospital, so still did not even find time to tell me! I as undermined ran in hospital to the grandmother, to the grandfather (he is the blind person!), and the child vomited houses and temperaturit as it cut teeth. Yes, with it there was a father, but from it it was not easier for me.
Then as it became clear, me were not called because knew that I will not approve, I will spoil them mood, and in general they did not count on me! They asked the grandmother`s neighbors (guessed!) to visit, but I did not know about it! And the grandmother, apparently, was aware not where her daughter.
the grandmother had a cancer, and she long and hard died. The husband constantly was at work, and, having come home, continued to work at the computer to a dream. To go and help the grandmother I had no opportunity. The sister (she is not married and there are no children) went, and mother looked after. To the son there were also no two when the grandmother died.
farther it was absolutely cheerful. I was accused of everything in what sophisticated mind and the imagination of sane people only could. It appears, I HAD TO look after the grandmother. I HAD TO leave the child at fathers-in-law (had to carry the child on a minibus in the winter where over the heads a heap snotty and coughing to sit with the grandmother, and the child at that time also will be fed with something).
I in general, I am such reptile that I do not help parents and as the father told: “At you even the thought does not arise to help mother!“ And when actually to help me if all house, cooking, washing, an ironing, a campaign on the market with a carriage and in principle and the child on me?
the Grandfather took offense what I did not give it the great-grandson after maternity hospital (to the blind person, the crucified child?!). Took offense what did not go and did not clean their apartment what I come, but I do not sit and I do not conduct with it measured conversation about life (and when if the child under legs how the pricker, turns?) and still a heap of mucks which and do not want to be written. And as I did not do all this, the apartment of the grandfather was presented to the sister!
to me it was declared by the grandfather during a festive New Year`s dinner. Declared, reveling in the power, and instructively recommended to change the behavior. Then, maybe, still they will think... After such conversation shook me month!Is not present
, I do not regret that the sister got the apartment, maybe, it also is correct, though here it is possible to argue, but another offended - to them on me to spit. Both on me and on the grandson. I do not speak about the help from them - it was not and hardly it will appear, I say that they also do not want to understand what to me!
They not that do not come on a visit, but also do not call even! Mother could sit quietly in the car under our windows and not rise by the second floor to see the grandson though she did not see it several months before. And does not come to their mind that to me it was heavy, they insist only on what was heavy them, and I so - brought to myself the child and I am covered with it not to help.
When I left to live to just future husband, the father issued it just tremendous phrase: “To us it will be simpler - one companies less“. And recently gave one more:“ You when to us came, wanted to have a rest, and we had to throw and entertain everything him“.the Son till two years two times in a night asked
milk (rose and did). I constantly did not get enough sleep, was tired - as a result, immunity was undermined, and I constantly was ill. Constantly: three weeks are ill - week a break, and on new. One girlfriend told recently that at this time I looked as the zombie.than
Now for the son already three, it became easier. I “leveled a back“, took care of the own life, grew thin for 12 kg.
Ya did not wait for the help. I made everything! My child in three years was never ill seriously (so, only sopelk). I constantly was engaged with the child, did various grants. Parents were proud of what their grandson in one and a half years could tell quietly offers, uttering practically all letters. But... These constant reproaches from their party got me and just podkashivat on a root.is shorter than
, I do not communicate with them. In any way. Only this way I, at last, found peace of mind. I hope that the child will understand me when grows, or perhaps something will change...
Though... recently called the father and wished happy birthday (again there was a wish to be good). Long listened to reproaches, offered communication options... As a result, after two hours of “communication“ by phone, the father told: “Let all and remains“.in
So, little girls if the grandmother calls you and is interested in the grandson, not all means so badly if walks with it at least once in a month - you have a normal grandmother. If in your life there is a grandmother who devotes to grandsons slightly more, than walk in a month, then you can envy. And all of you together were just lucky that you have not such grandmother, as at my child!