Rus Articles Journal

To break - not to build?

Fragments, splinters, remains of toys to which any more not to become a whole? Such impression that all the handle of your child touches, immediately scatters on pieces. What it is interest in a peace arrangement or fighting “spirit of destruction“?

to Explain
to the kid that it is impossible to break anything, it is necessary not once.

At the panel batteries disappeared, the magazine with TV program is broken off to pieces, and petals of tulips decorate with themselves everything, except bashfully hung “to a vase of naked small stalks. Perhaps through your drawing room the track of migration of wild pylons lies or on it the hurricane blew over? No, it is only Andryusha: and two and a half years nice blond creation skillfully destroys, breaks and takes everything that falls to it into hands to pieces. Of course, it enrages his mother of whom already bothered to sum up the results daily. In most cases children do not wish to afflict us, turning toys and things into fragments. Being born, they get also the world of the ready things habitual and ordinary for us and such mysterious and attractive for kids. The small child, unlike adults, has only one way to see “soul“ of a thing and to understand how it is arranged, - to take it to pieces. Remember how you, being small, by all means wanted to learn what is at a favourite teddy bear inside, and then were perplexed why these pieces of foam rubber do not want to go mad in his stomach. Besides at so early age children still very vaguely imagine that it is good and that it is bad. Therefore sometimes it seems to us that they behave as little barbarians. But the kid is not able to expect results of the research activity yet. World around for the child such new and bright that all getting to his field of vision become object of fascinating experiments. And that informative activity of the kid brought joy of opening, but not chagrin, it is important to designate, borders of research activity.

Anna gave to

to repair already three times the videorecorder since her daughter began to move independently on the apartment. Over time mother began to treat a question with philosophical tranquility:“ For the first time in it cookies were found - the girl decided to feed him. Then the baby tried suit in it garage for the brother`s machines. But it is impossible to become angry about the daughter, she did not want to break it“. After the third repair young mother put the tape recorder on height, inaccessible to children, the small child So far, to clean chain objects far away from curious and awkward handles - the good decision. But over time we should explain to the kid that there are things which do not belong to him, and he cannot do with them everything that will wish. And here with the it is possible to do it (or almost it), anything.

of the Technician of a ban

Have patience. He is not guided yet in what is “good and bad“, nevertheless your child perfectly will understand, what do you think of his act, and the assessment of parents is very important for it. At this age the child does not understand yet that if the thing is broken, then it is not always possible to repair it. Therefore ours it has to “is impossible“ to be followed by an explanation always: - “These things not for game“, “They too fragile and easily break“, “This thing belongs to me, and will afflict me if you incidentally break it“.

you Watch that it was not enough bans, otherwise you receive the result opposite to expected. Every time, forbidding something to the small child, we have to understand what efforts it should not doing that there is a wish. If the kid constantly is to come across bans, in him it will cause such storm of emotions that to spite of you it will sort for days on end all will be able to reach. That it did not occur, it is very important to allow the child to handle the toys as to him will take in head even if it breaks them. The territory, free from bans is necessary for it. So he will be able to show the inquisitiveness and to give vent to destructive impulses.

to Find an opportunity

to Crash of a tower the kid rejoices not less, than to its creation.

Why to your daughter not to make to a doll a hairstyle “hedgehog“? It is a pity to us beautiful ringlets, and for it it is an important stage in understanding of and the opportunities. Having changed a doll as she wanted, the girl felt the hostess of a toy. Children often feel the power of adults, and similar manipulations with the toys allow to compensate their dependence on us in some degree. If it seems to you that the toy is hopelessly spoiled, you do not hurry to throw out it, the child with pleasure will use all these fragments and details in games. Also do not worry if your kid with joyful shouts crushes sand pies or will bring down a beautiful tower from the designer which collected for hours. For the small child destruction - an integral part of creation something new. And we, adults, often constrain destructive impulses of the child. In safe space of game it has an opportunity to express the emotions, without causing our censure. Infinite repetition of construction something and the subsequent destruction can symbolize separation and return for the baby.

I Ask


Sometimes the broken toys can tell

to us that the child feels alone and needs confirmation of our love. Children draw our attention that way which appears the most effective. And if you are especially upset by a disorder and the broken things, then, having heard a crash and a roar while you need to make a dinner or to check homeworks at the senior children, be sure that thus the kid reminds of the existence. He does not want to afflict you, and only reports that he suffers. If you remember it, it will be easier for you to keep calm next time when it overturns your jar with invaluable cream or will tear off a hand at a favourite doll of the little sister. You should not see in it evil intention - he is jealous and would like to own you undividedly. Show to the child that you are dissatisfied with the caused damage, but at the same time allow it to express the feelings: “You become angry about mother or the little sister? I think of you even if I am busy. I will be released and I will be able to play with you“. It is not necessary to cause sense of guilt in the child, its feelings are quite natural, and he expresses them according to the age.