The dearest person of
, What induced me, the forty-year-old divorced woman to take the child, the girl of one and a half years?
C 1985 for 1989 I worked as a part of the Soviet troops in Germany as the nurse - the anesthesiologist in hospital of the city of Magdeburg. The relations with the husband - the officer were unimportant, but I very much wanted the child and hoped that I will give birth to the kid. Having become pregnant, I went to give birth to the child home, to Moscow.
To my enormous grief, on omission of doctors I lost the child. I left hospital after the intensive care unit and all performed operations devastated, and understood that now I any more will never be able to give birth to the child. Nothing pleased me, there was a terrible depression. My mother considered that I have to come back to the husband. But for me it was already impossible.
In maternity hospital where I lay, to me was prompted that if I want, then I will be able to take (to adopt) the child. Also advised to take the child is not younger than one year when dynamics of development is already visible, it is visible what is put character, etc.
After hospital I recovered, collected documents for adoption - all this lasted about half a year. And suddenly I was told that in maternity hospital there is a girl Tanechka, 1,5 years, and advised to come to look. I went. When I saw on hands at the doctor the chubby girl with two chins, on a forehead - bruise, on a nose - scratch, with huge is dark - brown eyes, pulled me to it, as to a magnet. My heart thawed at once. I began to beg to nobody to give it - it is my daughter!Should tell
that it was heavy time of reorganization when the ruble fell, salaries depreciated, shelves of shops were empty. But me it was not terrible. In - the first, after work in GDR I saved money for the child, that is for a while when I have to sit, raise the kid, and most not to work. I distributed money for 12 months, took a child care leave and quietly raised the girl, looked after her, cherished.Me nobody helped
. My mother (about 70 - ti were years her then) told: “Took the child herself - here and itself be engaged with it!“ She did not love other people`s children. My sisters had children, the families and the affairs - problems. They not especially were delighted to the fact that I took the child. I was one.But nothing frightened me by
and nothing could shake my decision - I had a DAUGHTER! I worked, the girl grew, became more native to me. But while the daughter was small, it was necessary to me sometimes hard. It was necessary to work hard.
In children`s home I was told - if you want that the daughter got used to you, you have to visit her daily. Every day after work I came to children`s home, I was given a stroller, and I walked with it, we left from the Children`s home yard, I rolled it on a swing in the neighboring yard, drove for handles. She already understood everything, but did not speak yet - year and 6 months was her. Then I brought it back into group - for dinner.
I came In the 2nd weeks, as usual, in group, and the teacher told it: “Tanechka, to you came mother!“ - it was necessary to see how the daughter ran to me and fell me arms. Even both teachers were surprised - how fast the girl got used to me.I everything prepared
of the House for arrival of the daughter - toys, a bed, a carriage. There passed the court by recognition me by mother. I changed to the daughter a name and gave the surname. I am a Tatar and therefore changed a name of Tan for conformable - Danya (Denmark).
I happy day for me here came and for the daughter - we were going to leave Children`s home and to arrive home! I bought flowers, candies, I wanted that all tutors and employees rejoiced together with me. By a taxi we arrived with the daughter home, she entered the room where there were already for it toys, she very much was delighted and laughed much. And me her children`s laughter with modulations seemed the most beautiful music on light.
But in the evening when I put her to bed, it began to cry, take away my hands. It was visible that the girl did not get used, a new situation, all another. It was necessary to rock to sleep to me on hands, to sing songs, to carry on the room. Approximately in three weeks she slowly began to get used to fall asleep, became quieter, there was a sound sleep. I introduced an accurate diet at once and a dream, walks, gradually tempered it. Within 12 months (so much I dared not to work on care of the child) she was not ill, she had a good appetite.
In two and a half years I began to prepare the daughter for kindergarten - it was near my house. I explained to her that I will need to go to work to earn money because it is necessary to buy food and clothes. On my happiness in a garden there were two wonderful teachers who loved children, were engaged with them, entertained, and the daughter easily joined younger group of a garden and behaved well. But every morning she spoke to me:“ Mother, come for me a bit earlier“. I came for it right after an afternoon snack - to 16 - 00.
So we also lived. The daughter grew. In a garden there was a good preparatory group, with children well were engaged, and my daughter easily went to the first class of school with the strengthened 1 - 3 program (that is four classes in three years). It had no problems with study. She studied well. On my happiness, the girl was both clever, and healthy.
Time flew by quickly. After the 9th class she decided to go in college No. 40 to study as the hairdresser. It has tendencies to beautiful, art bents, and in college praise it for ability quickly and beautifully to work. As the stylist it always and me will help with the choice of clothes.I could prove
I to the family that I brought up the good daughter. I taught it to all: to diligence, cleanliness, ability to be in charge of housekeeping. The lover of sport, I imparted also to the girl love to sports occupations, to swimming, basketball. She always played sports, physically strong girl. And there is no house of problems with it. She is able a lot of things is and to bring conducting to the TV and to repair the iron, phone and to cook tasty food.to us easily is to
- both of us try, she helps me about the house, both of us erase, we clean the apartment, she watches the things. My daughter already tries to help me and financially - does highlighting by the acquaintance, fashionable hairstyles (any cascades and other), and it gives her only pleasure. She always consults on me on any questions and problems. In general she is at heart a leader, soul of the company. Both girls and children reach for it, she will always intercede for those who are offended.
Yes, still I want to tell - the daughter knows that not I gave birth to her (I cannot even write the word that I to it “not native“). After death of parents one of my sisters during quarrel threatened me that she will tell my girl that it me not the native daughter. And I decided that I am better I will tell the girl about it. And my mother advised everything to me earlier to tell most that “kind people“ did not outstrip, and the girl had no spiritual wounds.
to the Daughter was 7 years old when I, previously having prepared for conversation, told about it. But the children`s perception of this fact was painless - we have well a heart-to-heart talk, she knew that I very much love it, and it my only native little man. Therefore the daughter fell in love with me even stronger, and we and lived - still, only became even stronger to help each other.
Ya I live in the same house since the childhood where all know me. And when the daughter was 13 years old, one “kind soul“ - the neigbour - “revealed“ her secret about nonnative mother. But the daughter knew everything itself, and this conversation did not surprise her. She told everything to me, and I was only glad that once decided to tell the girl the truth.
Ya I live with the daughter quietly and happily. The daughter grew up the beautiful, good girl, she is 17 years old. To me it is already a lot of years, but I still work, I look much much younger, God gives me strength, and I think that it in many respects because I I have not one for whom to care - the same as is to a lump to take care also of me. I know that my daughter will never leave me. With it I just look younger and to both of us it is good what I wish also to all mothers!Still I want to add
that it is necessary to speak about an origin of the adopted child to it and not to hide. And it needs to be done till 6 - 7 years when the child yet not absolutely digests this fact, but will already endure it, will know about the biological origin and to treat it quietly. But you will not be afraid that someone a blurt will hurt it.for
Of course, me it was not always easy. There were very hard times when I was ill, but it was necessary to rise, follow products, to cook food, to look after the daughter in spite of the fact that itself was ready to drop. There were also impecunious times. As me any grants it was not necessary to the adoptive mother. There was catastrophically not enough depreciated salary.
Half a year my mother had a serious illness - I had to look after also her, to work, be engaged in the daughter. I terribly grew thin, was on the verge of nervous exhaustion. To make ends meet, it was even necessary to sell which - that from property.
After death of mother I took myself, besides the main, two additional works. But there was not enough money - it was time of coupons and empty shelves in shops. And once, when I in despair took out the cut of beautiful fabric postponed by mother long ago, having decided to sell it, developed fabric - and from there money fell down so necessary to us now!!! As I cried - mummy, you and from there, from other life, help me! We with the daughter - the schoolgirl cried together.
the Daughter endured death of the grandmother too. To everything it began to be afraid to remain one in the apartment. But I needed to work, and there was nothing to employ the nurse. And we found a way out. We took … a little puppy! Pug! And he rescued us - in the house there was one more live soul, the daughter after school was not one in the apartment, she began to be engaged with pleasure in a doggie, we very much fell in love with our ridiculous pug, and he lives at us still.
I Wish all of you good luck, wellbeing, it is a lot of pleasures, children`s laughter! I wish all not to forget - the person himself - the master of fate. Do not miss the happiness, everything depends only on you, future mothers! Without child in life - emptiness!