To feed on demand: how?
“To feed the baby not when time came and when asks“ - I read in all okolodetsky literature, being a pregnant woman. Remarkable article of Lilia Kazakova (by the way, all articles of this author devoted to breastfeeding, I read with huge interest) in special issue of the magazine “My child was especially remembered to me. First year of life“. I do not remember precisely as article is called, but the key phrase in it was approximately following: “Action which for any mother has to become automatic - when crying or other expressed concern to put the kid to a breast...“Old regime feeding in 3,5 - 4 hours was described by
in all sources as the greatest sadism from pediatricians of last generation.
- the Main thing the rule of breastfeeding: on the first peep! - authoritatively the instructor on courses of preparation for childbirth which I attended claimed.
- Tell, - I took an interest then. - Unless it makes sense to feed the child who cries not with hunger, and for any other reason?
- Has! - surely the instructor answered. - Even if the child cries not because that wants to eat, sucking of a breast will relieve any pain and discomfort.
... In the appointed time I at me was born to Olechk.- to Feed with
on demand. You know about it? - the nurse in maternity hospital reported, handing to me the baby.
- Yes, of course...
the First couple of days in maternity hospital Olechka slept off, especially without troubling herself awakenings on food. Having occasionally woken up and having sucked a breast, again sank into a sleep. For the third day (just when we were written out home) the girl, probably, slept and decided “to make up for lost time“. To feed her on each peep it was hard business: perhaps, from - for July a heat and postnatal weakness, and it is possible, from - that I was not sure of correctness of the actions.
Somehow, putting Olechka to bed, I heard conversation of “newly made“ grandmothers in kitchen.
- And you remember how was earlier? - my mother remembered. - Strictly on hours to feed - and - - one minute earlier!
- Well, I do not know... And in my opinion, it is wrong to feed absolutely without the mode, - the mother-in-law expressed the opinion. - Something here not that. Such impression that someone on this subject defended the dissertation, and now so it became fashionable to feed.
Fortunately both mothers, being people democratic, did not begin not only to impose, but even to state me the similar point of view. But heard generated the first doubts in my soul.
... - We feed on demand? - the patronage nurse who came later couple of days took an interest.
- Yes, of course! - surely I answered, but then just in case specified: - And on demand is as: a breast to give every time as soon as begins to squeak?
is someone very clever thought up... - skeptically the nurse shook the head. - Nobody says to you that it is necessary to feed on an alarm clock, but the interval at least has to be at 2,5 - 3 o`clock obligatory.
- And if asks more often? - you Watch
, - the nurse shrugged shoulders. - Both accustom, and will be. - Then it took an interest: - And how the baby sucks a breast? Long?
- Happens, and long. Minutes on forty...
- And you want to tell what she within all forty minutes eats? Remember: to the child, to be sated, enough twenty minutes of active sucking! All rest of the time it at you just sleeps under a breast! Accustom her to suck the whole day - what you will do then? When you do household chores?
- Well... I do not know.
- That`s it! And still - in each feeding to give only one breast! Otherwise will get used to drink only the “top“ milk which should not be exhausted. Remember: both accustom, and will be! - the nurse told finally and left.
“Well and if so, - I reflected, - why and really not to accustom the child is every 2 - 3 hour and not to release to itself personal time? And that will get used to suck me for days on end - what I will do then?“
Following who decided to shake intention to feed on demand.
- You think, - she authoritatively declared. - Well, how many generations fed on the mode! And I was so fed, and you! Why something new to invent? This your feeding on demand - totally ludicrous: the child needs to do breaks in food, otherwise the food will not manage to be digested and problems with a tummy will begin. And what was told you - just some experimental theory. You want to make experiments on the child? there is no
-. I do not want...
the Last straw for me for some reason (publishing houses, unfortunately, I do not remember). In the head “Feeding on demand“, in addition, was written approximately following:“ Some parents took the principle of feeding on demand too literally: they always fed the child when he would not ask, and never awoke if feeding time came. Acting this way, they considered themselves very clever as though made some entertaining experiment...Actually it is wrong
. If the child woke up and cries, at first it is necessary to try it to shake, then to offer a pacifier or a small bottle with water“.“Is not present
, really, some nonsense - on each peep to give a breast! - I came to a final conclusion. - These are some clever psychologists thought up which, probably, about children only in books read. Yes you never know what the child peeps! Instead of every time to push a boob, it is necessary to understand that happened: if a dirty diaper - to change if wants to sleep - to lull if it is boring - to entertain if the tummy hurts - to make massage etc.“
generally, anyway, I decided to accustom Olechka to the any mode. Of course, to sustain the interval specified by the nurse it was unrealistic, but I tried to sustain between feedings a pause at least at two o`clock. Well, as a last resort, when “to keep there are no more than forces“ - in one and a half. The pacifier and a small bottle recommended by the “kind“ author of the encyclopedia did not work as Olechka refused a pacifier at once and forever, and the small bottle with a children`s tea if helped, then for very insignificant time.
my “education“ of the baby continued two weeks. I will not describe how we them lived. I will tell only that I could not once again even take Olechka on hands as the poor girl, catching a milk smell, immediately demanded the. It was necessary to resort to the help of grandmothers. Those carried the granddaughter on hands, and without having found an opportunity to calm her, explained crying with the fact that the child is hurt by a tummy, and it hurts just because I too often () feed the daughter from their point of view.- Look at
and it has a full stomach! As drum! (actually at Olechka the tummy from - for GAZ cars was blown up). Perhaps you should not give a breast... so often?
- you tell It to it, - I waved away. - That, you do not see how she a mouth a breast looks for every time, costs me it only on hands to take! Olechka, you just ate! You will burst, the child!
an End to this “lawlessness“ was put by our district doctor.
- Well, how here at you business? - she took an interest, having come to us two weeks later after Olechki`s birth.
- is bad, - I grievously admitted. - All the time cries, sleeps very badly. The tummy disturbs, on - big time in two days goes at best.
on Olechka, the doctor indignantly exclaimed:
- Yes you what, were stunned? What did you make with the child?
- In what sense? - I did not understand.
- In the sense that she does not gain weight at all. Tomorrow - it is urgent! - in policlinic on weighing.
... - Well what I told? Sixty grams in two weeks! - the doctor reported next day, having weighed Olechka. - Absolutely from mind of a poskhodila! Brought from maternity hospital of the child on whom there was Ljubo - expensively to look and what it was turned into! - the doctor did not mince words.
- But how it? I often feed her, she long sucks! - I was perplexed.
- is frequent - it is as? The girl is two weeks old from a sort! To it the milk drop got into a stomach - here it and gorged on. And through some time asks again. Or swallowed air instead of milk and did not gorge on. Therefore I also speak - feed when the child asks!
- And what to do to us?
- to do Nothing. Go home, and you feed, you feed, you feed. On the first peep. And in two days you will come to be weighed again. You look at the girl - and to dystrophy nearby!
Upset, I came back home.
- Well you worry, - mother calmed me. - You will think, sixty grams in two weeks! You in general for all the first month gained hundred fifty grams. Especially, now it is at all not a problem - how many different mixes. By the way, I learned from acquaintances what mix good - recommend “Semilak“...
- Yes wait you with mix, - I sighed. - I still want to consult to the doctor.
- And what here to consult? If the child does not gain weight, so milk insufficiently. I, however, and assumed, otherwise what the baby so often asked to eat? Especially, and I had problems with a lactation, you have it, it is possible to consider, hereditary. So why you will torment yourself and the child? You want, I will leave right now, I will buy mix? there is no
- - I answered firmly.
Oh, and the next days were given hard! Having got unlimited access to a breast, Olechka solved probably that it is necessary to be eaten off, and quicker until mother changed the mind. All day long she me literally poyedy ate, without getting down at me from hands for a second. About such concept as personal time, it was necessary to forget then.
However for these days to me managed to be understood why Olechka so often asked a breast and at the same time almost did not gain weight. On it there was a number of the reasons. In - the first, the moment which was considered by neither me, nor all my “advisers“ - a two-week crumb the corporal contact with mother which is shown first of all in sucking of a breast was necessary as the breath of life! Therefore she also did not calm down on hands of the father or grandmother, and, having got on hands to me, right there began “to catch“ a mouth a breast.
In - the second, milk at me indeed became less, thanks to some “experts“: the clever nurse, convincing me of need 3 - x a one-hour break between feedings, did not find time to specify that in this situation not poorly to be decanted (by the way, concerning decantations she answered my question: “And what in maternity hospital spoke to you? It is not necessary? Means, be not decanted!“ ).
B - the third, Olechka was that is called “a lazy sucker“, and in the course of food very quickly sank into a sleep. Councils “helped to bother for cheeks and a nose“ not really as if I also awoke the baby thus, she continued to suck quite inertly. Besides, I first had a hard breast, and Olechka quickly was tired of sucking. I weaned her, gave 10 - 15 minutes to have a rest and put again. Already two days practically in the mode non - stop.
- There now, already best of all! - with satisfaction the doctor when we came to the following weighing noted. - 150 grams in two days - quite another matter. It though became similar to the child, but not to the puny creature. Continue in the same spirit, and affairs will be on the mend.
- And mix? It is not necessary to give?
- Why mix? Beginning time to gain weight, so you have milk. Just you feed more often, that`s all.
- you Understand, - I admitted. - I have no forces any more. She for days on end sucks a breast, I for a minute cannot put it in a bed.
- And what you wanted? - the doctor grinned. - It is eaten off after hunger strike. Nothing, over time at the girl the mode of feedings will be developed, and it will become easier. Generally, continue in the same spirit.
I. Of course, it was necessary hardly. In the afternoon - because, in - the first, as well as the nurse foretold, I had not enough time for “household chores“, in - the second, feeding “on the first peep“ practically did not leave me an opportunity to leave where - or the house, I was, one may say, under house arrest. And at night... I remember, somehow during night feeding I “was just cut down“, sitting on a bed and holding Olechka on hands. Having woken up, looked at the watch and it was terrified - I overslept nearly an hour! (the daughter all this time sladenko snuffled at me under a breast). I then very much was frightened and if I dropped Olechka?
After this case I waved a hand on all and all and began to take Olechka to myself in a bed. At first it seemed to me inconvenient, but soon we with the daughter adapted to sleep together, without feeling the slightest discomfort: when Olechka woke up, I gave her a breast and continued to sleep. So, by the way, the problem of sleepless nights was solved.
at the end of the month we were on weighing in policlinic again.
- Four hundred fifty grams for the first month, - were stated by the doctor. - It is a little, of course, but taking into account that first she did not gain weight, it very much is even good. Good fellows. Continue to feed on demand, and everything will be normal.
... Every day Olechka became quieter. Gradually need “to bear“ it on hands and to give a breast nearly each 15 minutes disappeared. Somewhere in 2,5 - 3 Oliny months I had, at last, free time. Well, that is, I cannot tell that it at me was a great lot, but I had no special problems to prepare - to clean - to wash, communicate to the husband and even before going to bed to read the book. By the way, at this age at Olechka the approximate mode of feedings was already developed, however it strongly differed from “traditional“: the girl asked a breast on average through everyone one and a half - two hours. Why? On it, I think, there are following reasons.
In - the first, one of features of “food behavior“ Olechki - is often, but on slightly - slightly. I was convinced of it a bit later when began to enter feedings up. The daughter always begins to eat with pleasure, but is quickly sated therefore I “feed“ the portion of porridge or mashed potatoes put by her in stages.
In - the second, feeding by a breast for Olechki is closely connected with dreams. She filled up and falls asleep only under a breast if she in the middle of the night woke up, it is necessary to give again a breast that she continued to sleep. Somewhere before half a year she needed to suck a breast at once after a day dream irrespective of whether she has a sleep two hours or twenty minutes.
B - the third, Olechka always used a breast not only for food, but also for satisfaction of a sosatelny reflex, and also for stay in contact with mother. That is, the baby can often ask a breast if she feels concern and discomfort: for example, when the first teeth “went“, I in general lost count of applyings.So we continued by
feeding on demand. Now Olechke is seven months old. With introduction of a feeding up the number of applyings to a breast was reduced, but nevertheless remained rather frequent. My relatives got used that I often feed Olechka, but nevertheless sometimes causes bewilderment when I give to Olechke a breast that that calmed down in them or fell asleep.“ You would give it a pacifier and did not suffer, - mother advises. - And that she uses instead of a pacifier you“. I do not take offense - I laugh: appear, thought up not a pacifier to replace a breast, and on the contrary!in conclusion I want to tell
that feeding on demand gave us from Olechkaya a number of advantages. In - the first, a problem with a breast (stagnation of milk, mastitis and so forth) avoided me, and it was never not necessary to be decanted to me. In - the second, I already said that thanks to a joint dream and night feeding sleepless nights of steel for us well about - about - very big rarity! At least, did not suffer from a sleep debt and I do not suffer. In - the third, I consider that only thanks to feeding on demand we in general managed “to extend“ breastfeeding. Apparently, initially I and really had a little milk (genetically, and me and the brother my mother finished feeding mix already from monthly age), but if at frequent feedings it caused only an insignificant shortage of weight at the child to which doctors closed eyes, then at “regime feeding“ it should enter mix soon and by that to give up as a bad job breastfeeding. It is asked that it is better - to give to the child mix or once again to feed with a breast?
Well and at last, the most important - frequent applyings provided to the daughter necessary psychoemotional contact with mother thanks to which, I think, it grows at the quiet and cheerful child. And whether it is necessary to describe what unique scale of emotions is tested by me when this lump snuffles at me on a breast?
In a word: if my familiar mummies ask me: “To feed on demand: how?“, I always answer: “On demand is on demand. Simply, without everyones “but“ and without any reservations“.