To rudeness - fight!
Imagine very simple situation - a trip for work. Fine morning, you are full of optimistic hopes and plans for the whole working day. But here the bag and someone`s “And well falls by your leg, move! Seated here!.“ returns you in sad reality.
It is simply amazing as we, the adult women capable to cope independently with the majority of vital problems, are easily lost, having faced household rudeness. Education does not allow to fall to the level of the offender and to answer in Russian abusive. People, always ready to insult and thus to lift a self-assessment, there is too much. How to save itself from their encroachments?
I - not the victim!
Good education - it is fine. It allows us with honor to get out of many difficult situations and is guarantee of respect of people around. But what to do if education prevents to give worthy repulse to the offender? To forget really about manners and to fall to the boor`s level? No way. There is a mass of ways to protect themselves, having saved at the same time the face.
Let`s understand. The aggression reason - and roughness, certainly, one of its versions - is almost always fear. The most banal fear which we also feel regularly, - fear to be not witness who are not recognized, not dear. And here somebody frightened begins to be protected by the difficult world of the human relations as can, that is attack even earlier, than it was suspected of weakness. The less people aggression understands others, the stronger it, the more he seeks to hurt another.Therefore this fear is better to understand
at once - and to cease to be afraid. The one who splashes saliva and chokes with shout, often just unfortunate person not capable to deal with own life. Where to do it to you harm! The understanding of this simple fact turns the victim - no, not into the hunter. More likely, in the quiet observer not really pleasant, but, in effect, a safe situation. So, calmed down - and forward, on protection of the advantage!
the Boor tram
Public transport - a hot spot, the place of eternal collision of human interests. The probability to run here into roughness is very high as people are angry a crowd, closeness, discomfort. Exactly here the “professional“ boors using public transport to pour out on surrounding the rage meet.
What is necessary for the tram boor? Why it provokes the conflict? Elementary - everything is started for increase of a self-assessment. Imagine the aunt who offended you with a heavy bag and unpleasant speeches. Perhaps, and - that it left the house with one purpose:“ to communicate“ - houses there is nobody. Or perhaps it has a husband - the drunkard, and children - goofs? And here such externally successful woman - and without heavy load goes to herself, and it got the place at a window, and mood at it good... Here if “to lower“ this young woman at all now, then it is possible though for an instant to feel the superiority, to feel the hostess of life. Yes, the aunt - that can be understood. But what to do to the young woman? To list all the problems? To break with “the response speech“? >
just it is better for p to laugh. Above all the tram boor is afraid to seem ridiculous and pathetic - then instead of desired triumph its self-assessment will fall even below. When a cow you are called by the person twice of big dimensions, it is really ridiculous.
you do not see anything ridiculous - use the imagination. The old tested way - to present the enemy in underwear or with a garbage can on the head. It will be enough to inspect the offender and to grin, and he will finish thinking that in it such amusing. >
the Boor podjezdny
it is fine to p to live in an environment of intelligent people. Took in the morning leave, thrown by a couple of words about weather and the international situation - and dispersed on the affairs, very happy with themselves and with each other. However at reality the laws - our neighbors can appear both the sweetest quiet people, and a noisy couple of alcoholics, grumbling lonely old women, loutish students - music lovers and other characters, not always pleasant in life. If tram you any more never meet the boor, then it is necessary to face these people constantly in the elevator, on a ladder, in the yard. Eventually, the spoon of salt or a match can urgently be necessary. So with neighbors, whatever one may do, it is better to live in the world not to fray to themselves in vain nerves. What to do if it is impossible?
If the neigbour (80 years, loneliness and a delicate ear) endlessly exasperates with complaints to your noisy children and loud music from your window, and hints other inhabitants of the house at your not irreproachable reputation? If the neighbor uncle Vasya, having left to a refuse chute in training trousers full of holes and an undershirt of the third freshness, welcomes you a vigorous materok? Told like nothing bad, and it is unpleasant...
Use simple and effective tactics “all of us are people“. Once and for all inspire in yourself that all those who live around are not worse than us. Just they have problems: at work, with children. Perhaps they do not have enough money, heart plays pranks or the head morning after hurts. And so they are lovely people and in the same way as all of us, want love and respect. And to us what, it is a pity to provide it? Droplets.
Elementary politeness is capable to extinguish any conflict, and ability to keep with advantage in critical situations causes respect not less, than broad shoulders and communications in the highest circles.
you Remember the first rule of the well-mannered person - to treat both the minister, and with the janitor follows equally - politely, quietly, as with equal. Sometimes it is necessary to regret just mentally unfortunate, offended you. And it is easier for you to transfer offense, and to it you will not make life even worse.
the Boor office
the Boor met by chance, an annoying episode. The boor whom it is necessary to face on work, disaster day by day. And if to allow it to fray your precious nerves with impunity, business can come to an end for you in a nervous breakdown and even searches of new work. It is unknown why the colleague chose you in the victims. Perhaps you it is simple stronger it in the professional plan and he is afraid of the competition? Can (if it it), you it is far more attractive and more interesting? Perhaps it or at it has since the birth a disgusting character and the aspiration to humiliate any in a visibility range is big? If it is difficult to you to ignore such boor, be not afraid to stand for yourself:“ Stop, mister good. I do not wish to talk in such tone to you and I will not be. So now you have time to get it together. When you calm down, we will continue work. If is not present - I will accept all your claims in writing“. Ask the help! Around you - people who, perhaps, too suffer from office hooligan, intemperate on language. And it is simpler to cope with trouble always together. Especially if the leader appears on your party. And if any method does not work, apply the most ancient: love the enemy. Here you will see, his rage will soon come to naught, and you at the same time will look quite adequately. We meet many rough, ill-bred, just aggressive people. Each of us, even the most non-contentious and quiet, sometimes gets into a situation when it is necessary to defend itself. And in this case it is important to remember - yes, to me is what to defend. The consciousness of own force will prompt an exit from any situation and will allow to put to the place of the gone too far rude fellow. The main thing - to be afraid of nothing!
Councils of the lawyerKupreenko Olga`s
(Lawyer bureau “Shahs and partners“).
Household rudeness, and differently disorderly conduct (strong language, offensive stickings, destruction and damage of property), at work, in transport and other public places can be punished.
- If you was offended in transport, get support of fellow travelers, ask coordinates of several witnesses (a full name, phone, the address) that they confirmed your statement in militia. Otherwise it will be more difficult to prove causing moral harm. can be protected by
- From sexual aggression as well as in the previous case.
- Write the application to the militiaman in the beat with the written statement about all offenses of dear neighbor. Perhaps, you will manage to make the mass petition from all residents of an entrance. The militiaman in the beat will check everything and will make the protocol on an administrative offense. Punishment: a penalty from 500 to 1000 rub, or arrest for 15 days.
- Complain to the personnel director or the head of the employee terrorizing you. Call to the aid colleagues, they can act as witnesses.